OY! Rock and a hard place!
Things at the "home" seem to mimic a rollercoaster. Up, down, upside down, fast......nausea! One minute everything seems ok and the next you find out you were wrong or something you said triggers a sentiment and pisses the other off. WOWSERS! It is exhausting at times; especially now. At first Kevin was always bitter, understandibly so, and would go out all dressed up attempting to make me jealous and think he was going out on dates. He noticed this tactic was not working and has since stopped doing this. I knew it would not be easy but I didnt think he would still be reacting the way he is. It is bordering on childish. I definately do not want to be an ass about things, but am I supposed to hold things back because he is unable to deal with them? I dont think I can do that.
All this comes up becasue I am dating again. I wasnt looking for it, it just kinda happened. I was not expecting Kevin to be happy about it, but he asked me so I told him. What is dating anyhow? Does it imply exclusivity or is it just hanging out with a mutual interest? The definitions are so obscure. We have yet to have any formal talk about what we are or arent. I do not feel it is necessary at this point. I am perfectly fine the way things are going. We have been hanging out a bit and we definitely enjoy that, we've both expressed that. He is a really good guy, genuine and completely fun. We share the same music taste, which is definitely a hard find. He paints, has a good head on his shoulders, smart as all get out and can talk about literature! I can tell he holds his faith in high regard, I like that, although he does not talk about it much at all. It is perfectly comfortable and our conversations go on for hours without interruptions and they dont seem as though they are long at all. It is rather comforting and I like that. I invited him to a Christmas party this past saturday and we had a blast. Aaron, the host of the party and friend, said it was good to see me smiling and hearing me laugh again. :-\
Like my friend and quasi mentor Brian told me "It sounds like a good thing, let it develop and don't let yourself feel guilty about anything". That is the general plan for now; I am just going to let things develop naturally. He invited me to a dinner party tonight, I am excited about that. Is that so bad?
On another note: Mother seems extremely emotional today, in a happy crying way. I wonder what is up with her? She sent me today's Homily to which I replied and then she sent me a blank email wiht just "Te quiero much!" on it. hmmmph, I wonder if her and my dad are fighting again.
I have rediscovered quotes.... this one caught my eye: "The eyes of others, our prisons; their thoughts, our cages" - Virginia Woolf.
All this comes up becasue I am dating again. I wasnt looking for it, it just kinda happened. I was not expecting Kevin to be happy about it, but he asked me so I told him. What is dating anyhow? Does it imply exclusivity or is it just hanging out with a mutual interest? The definitions are so obscure. We have yet to have any formal talk about what we are or arent. I do not feel it is necessary at this point. I am perfectly fine the way things are going. We have been hanging out a bit and we definitely enjoy that, we've both expressed that. He is a really good guy, genuine and completely fun. We share the same music taste, which is definitely a hard find. He paints, has a good head on his shoulders, smart as all get out and can talk about literature! I can tell he holds his faith in high regard, I like that, although he does not talk about it much at all. It is perfectly comfortable and our conversations go on for hours without interruptions and they dont seem as though they are long at all. It is rather comforting and I like that. I invited him to a Christmas party this past saturday and we had a blast. Aaron, the host of the party and friend, said it was good to see me smiling and hearing me laugh again. :-\
Like my friend and quasi mentor Brian told me "It sounds like a good thing, let it develop and don't let yourself feel guilty about anything". That is the general plan for now; I am just going to let things develop naturally. He invited me to a dinner party tonight, I am excited about that. Is that so bad?
On another note: Mother seems extremely emotional today, in a happy crying way. I wonder what is up with her? She sent me today's Homily to which I replied and then she sent me a blank email wiht just "Te quiero much!" on it. hmmmph, I wonder if her and my dad are fighting again.
I have rediscovered quotes.... this one caught my eye: "The eyes of others, our prisons; their thoughts, our cages" - Virginia Woolf.