<-- {) taken out with a longbow
I wish, sometimes, that I was more pure than I am. I like the person I am, but I get this feeling that I'm stuck somewhere between being likeable and being tolerated. The thing is, at one time, I would have cared. Now, it's just an annoyance. I'm polite, sickeningly so, sometimes. Were the rest of my doings so nice, I might even be called, dare I say it, a good girl.
*sigh* Sometimes I despise Catholic guilt. But at least I have something to make me guilty still. Unlike people who think they can manipulate others and make them change into what they want them to be. Didn't work out for you, did it now? You're cutsie little punk girl just wasn't good enough.
I don't know why I'm still stuck on it. In fact, I'm not, really. I enjoy making people squirm uncomfortably for their mistakes. It makes me feel better about myself. Or, at least, I like to think I'm making an impression. The general feeling I get, though, is that they don't care either. Oh well, a girl can dream.
Completely different time in life...vvv
I liked it when I was happy all the time. I liked smiling.
But then again, at the time I thought I was happy, people would tell me that they never saw me smile... The first time I heard that, I was sad. Then I kept hearing it. I guess I stopped smiling, because that's what everyone thought of me.
Words are powerful.
I wonder what I was thinking was good about life. Because, whatever it was, it was sure not the same as what other people thought. I didn't have too much in common with anyone. I liked different things. I was smart, but not that smart. I was a great athlete, but not that great. I wasn't even a Jack-of-all-trades, more like Jack-of-a-couple-things. And, worst of all, I listen to Country music. As if it is some terrible curse, or an incurable disease. Shut up, morons. There's nothing wrong with my music, and there's nothing wrong with yours. It is what it is. Get over the fact that we're not the same.
Completely different everything...vvv
My legs hurt. I think it's from all the standing and serving and cleaning up I did today. But the food was worth it. I guess I didn't even talk to anyone while we ate, really... Or before... Or after. Such is servitued.
Reece called from Kuwait. It was so good to hear his voice. I was speechlessly happy. I can't say it was awkward, necessarily, but I didn't have too much to say. Not like we could have anyway because of the phones. Silly phones. Correction: goll-damn fucking phones. There, that felt so much better. I also called his mom, who called me from work. They were babysitting Parker. So cute, Parker ^_^ But he was sick tonight, so he was being cranky. They want me to visit over winter break. I should've gone to see them this weekend, but... I don't know, I just didn't. And they're coming down here for Thanksgiving (ironic, I now have almost-distantly-realated family living near Des Moines), so I won't be able to visit then.
We officially have Ouran High stuff worked out for Halloween. Should be a blast.
Other than that...
Meh.
Oh yeah, rumors of starting an archery club. Anyone interested?
*sigh* Sometimes I despise Catholic guilt. But at least I have something to make me guilty still. Unlike people who think they can manipulate others and make them change into what they want them to be. Didn't work out for you, did it now? You're cutsie little punk girl just wasn't good enough.
I don't know why I'm still stuck on it. In fact, I'm not, really. I enjoy making people squirm uncomfortably for their mistakes. It makes me feel better about myself. Or, at least, I like to think I'm making an impression. The general feeling I get, though, is that they don't care either. Oh well, a girl can dream.
Completely different time in life...vvv
I liked it when I was happy all the time. I liked smiling.
But then again, at the time I thought I was happy, people would tell me that they never saw me smile... The first time I heard that, I was sad. Then I kept hearing it. I guess I stopped smiling, because that's what everyone thought of me.
Words are powerful.
I wonder what I was thinking was good about life. Because, whatever it was, it was sure not the same as what other people thought. I didn't have too much in common with anyone. I liked different things. I was smart, but not that smart. I was a great athlete, but not that great. I wasn't even a Jack-of-all-trades, more like Jack-of-a-couple-things. And, worst of all, I listen to Country music. As if it is some terrible curse, or an incurable disease. Shut up, morons. There's nothing wrong with my music, and there's nothing wrong with yours. It is what it is. Get over the fact that we're not the same.
Completely different everything...vvv
My legs hurt. I think it's from all the standing and serving and cleaning up I did today. But the food was worth it. I guess I didn't even talk to anyone while we ate, really... Or before... Or after. Such is servitued.
Reece called from Kuwait. It was so good to hear his voice. I was speechlessly happy. I can't say it was awkward, necessarily, but I didn't have too much to say. Not like we could have anyway because of the phones. Silly phones. Correction: goll-damn fucking phones. There, that felt so much better. I also called his mom, who called me from work. They were babysitting Parker. So cute, Parker ^_^ But he was sick tonight, so he was being cranky. They want me to visit over winter break. I should've gone to see them this weekend, but... I don't know, I just didn't. And they're coming down here for Thanksgiving (ironic, I now have almost-distantly-realated family living near Des Moines), so I won't be able to visit then.
We officially have Ouran High stuff worked out for Halloween. Should be a blast.
Other than that...
Meh.
Oh yeah, rumors of starting an archery club. Anyone interested?