im far too tired...

[cuntlips]

... to write a lot, im gonna get into bed in a min and watch big bruvver before i go to sleep while eatin chocolate limes.

Apparently things are sorted with Steven, all though tey are far from back to normal.
I guess i feel slightly unnapreciated?? im not sure if thats the right word. Weell like i went to his house, i went there i made the effort when he couldnt be bothered, he couldnt be bothered to ask for a lift so he could get here.
i was the one that insisted on getting things sorted. I know he was upset because i read his live journal, but he didnt try to do anything about it, he just lay down and took it and that sucks. he doesnt fight.
is that a bad sign? i dont know.
i think im the one that is taking the biggest risk, he just hurt me so unbelievable but im giving him another chance to make things work, another chance to hurt me miore????
I think that there is a chance it can work so i want to have another go.
He hasnt said thank you? why cant he say thank you for being something more than something.. i dont know.
he could send me a letter? telling me something? what he feels?
will he?
no.
i cant make him be nice to me, i cant make him show me that he cares.i just wish he did.

im not ungrateful.
i just want what i know i deserve.