so sad
I am sad.
I feel rather lost. Its actually really hard to put into words.
Steven basically doesnt love me because im weird, because he doesnt understand why i get so sad. I dont understand either, so i cant change it. So i dont think that he will love me. Maybe there is someone who will love me the way i am?! I love him the way he is and i often dont understand him, or know how to cope with things he does.
My mama is gone on holiday and i miss her. AND when she comes back i have something to tell her. I dont know if she is going to be angry or not. I think she will be dissapointed at the very least. I dont want to work in an office. I dont know what i want. Thats why im so confused. I wish i had something to pursue but i dont have any interests. I really dont. I dont have a passion for anything so i dont know what road to go down. i dont even know where to start. Maybe im even a bit jealous of steven because hes getting on and giving it a go. i havent got anything to have a go at doing. I have never ever wanted to work in an office so why am i applying for these jobs? Im really afraid that i will get stuck there forever.
i feel so desperate and lonely. I hate to be so miserable but i dont know how to help myself.
Last week i feared i was pregnant because my period was late. And i was really worried that i was. And then i had a thought thati have never had before. OHH IF IHATE A BABY I WOULD HAVE A PURPOSE. thats pretty much it. I have never been like this before. Not so sad.
I spose upheaval with Steven doesnt help. I am really pleased that he is here, nearer to me. But in a way i will lose touch with him. I used to speak to him every day. Now i will see him every few days. Noone else really rings me. Tonight when i got in, i dialled 1471 to see if anyone had rung when i was out. Steven- two days ago.
How do i find out what i am good at?! How do i know what to do with my life? How do i meet people and make friends:(
I feel rather lost. Its actually really hard to put into words.
Steven basically doesnt love me because im weird, because he doesnt understand why i get so sad. I dont understand either, so i cant change it. So i dont think that he will love me. Maybe there is someone who will love me the way i am?! I love him the way he is and i often dont understand him, or know how to cope with things he does.
My mama is gone on holiday and i miss her. AND when she comes back i have something to tell her. I dont know if she is going to be angry or not. I think she will be dissapointed at the very least. I dont want to work in an office. I dont know what i want. Thats why im so confused. I wish i had something to pursue but i dont have any interests. I really dont. I dont have a passion for anything so i dont know what road to go down. i dont even know where to start. Maybe im even a bit jealous of steven because hes getting on and giving it a go. i havent got anything to have a go at doing. I have never ever wanted to work in an office so why am i applying for these jobs? Im really afraid that i will get stuck there forever.
i feel so desperate and lonely. I hate to be so miserable but i dont know how to help myself.
Last week i feared i was pregnant because my period was late. And i was really worried that i was. And then i had a thought thati have never had before. OHH IF IHATE A BABY I WOULD HAVE A PURPOSE. thats pretty much it. I have never been like this before. Not so sad.
I spose upheaval with Steven doesnt help. I am really pleased that he is here, nearer to me. But in a way i will lose touch with him. I used to speak to him every day. Now i will see him every few days. Noone else really rings me. Tonight when i got in, i dialled 1471 to see if anyone had rung when i was out. Steven- two days ago.
How do i find out what i am good at?! How do i know what to do with my life? How do i meet people and make friends:(