boys boys boys.

Aug 11, 2002 20:10


Its a weird thing with boys isnt it,.
Im gonna ask aiMEE if she comes online how to do that clicky thing so this isnt hella long... do you know what i mean??
I was just in the bath and i was thinking about boys. I texted gavin yesterday to see if he wanted to meet up today but he didnt text back. Im guessing he didnt have any credit, he rarely does. But i was still abit annoyed.
Gavin was my first proper boyfriend. He was a pretty poo boyfriend really. He had no idea. He was also poo at sex. bless. **premature ejaculation** But hes such a sweet boy. I would never consider getting back with him and i think the feeling is mutual. I know that he will always be there for me if i am sad, but to be honest hes not that great at that either. He just says ohhh dont cry becky, ohhh. And it sometimes stops me crying cos i laugh at his pathetic attempt at cheering me up hehe!!

He liked beingmothere i think. Like leo. But leo doesnt get on with his mum whereas gavin does. Wendy is GREAT! shes a great mum!! she makes nice sunday lunches and GREAT mash potato. without meaning to sound up myself i think she was upset when i dumped gavin cos she thought he wouldnt get better than me, she more or less said so. and she never liked any of his following girlfriends. aeeh wendy.
Leo was just a big mess.

i wonder if im subconsiously attracted to needy boys. To be totally honest my whole relationship was retarded i dont know why it happened and how it lasted six months!
He wasnt really any better in bed, i actually did not enjoy sex with him. it was more me me me. he often actually hurt me when having sex. he was really clumsy hehe. He was selfish - in general not just in bed and he thought i bullied him or something. He thought i nagged and stuff. I never did. i just have standards and if he didnt meet them i would say so, theres no point keeping shh if your not really happy. So id tell him. He to this day tells me off for being TOO HONEST. not everyone appreciates it you know becky. Ohhh shh you.
Steve is quite different, but there are inevitable similarities. Inevitable cos they are all boys? Or inevitable cos they are the sort of people i like andthat like me?
I dont know.
Steve is better at sex! hahah ive mentioned the sex with all three, that makes me look a bit shallow but heeey. HE Is though! Ohh yea and i can ejaculate! how funny is that. I just like steve a whole lot more. i have like umm a genuine affection for him, and it hurts soooooo much when he says mean things and hurts me. i WWwould never want to hurt him, and i really try not to. and although he has good intentions he just doesnt think enough before doing things and this makes me sadder than i can say.

He bought me a beautiful necklace for our six month anniversary and already i cherish it because he has never given me anything. OHH yes he gives me wee things now and then but its usually something ive said i want or whatever. and hmm this pretty heart necklace means lots to me. He gave me a pretty heart. Id give him my heart. Dont think he wants it:(

I dont really know what to think of things with steve. They always seem to run into walls but i still have hope and i cant explain why really:(
Previous post Next post
Up