eaten up
last night i had a dream in which i was dating a friend's best friend and this is one odd situtation. strangely the dream was in color and that never happens.everything was neon and electric.just this placid rush of sound, movement and non-senquitor. the way this man touched me, the way i captured his eyes, just the matter of his being was grace in it's self. he had a tattoo of a scorpion, a crab and a water bearer on his back. his head was shaved and his eyes these thick black matts, near a foot taller than myself, his voice was booming deeep. when we fucked he plugged sygrines in my legs and burnt my face with lighters. he bleached my hair and removed my eyes. he made into what he wanted. i was nothing like when we started. he made my hair orange-ish red and my skin near death. he removed my kidneys, my liver and my major arties, mixed them in a soup and force feed them to me.
i'm wondering if this has to do with my childhood. the reasons i'm immature, self loathing and anger ridden. however, a few weeks ago i had a strange dream in which rose,alex, i , her dead mother (whose not dead) and this random yokel all lived in a spooky, typically eerie house. no one looked as they are, but i could tell who was whom. well, the events came to pass that dream held, they just manifested themselves in opposite directions. in the dream i was forced to give oral to this yokel and i had misplaced rose's mother's pants in the back of the car. and alex didn't see it was me who misplaced the pants, he just blamed it on a dead spirit, which isn't much like my father. he doesn't buy into the spiritual aspect of life.who knows? i'm a libra with a moon in pisces and scorpio rising. i have been known to talk to the dead and sometimes i can feel my ancestors waking me in the middle of the night.i hear sounds, i hear voices, in this technological age, i may be going mad. or is it that my family was a history of knowing the dead and the lessons they teach. spritiuality can't take a backseat to a modern society, where the taught that man isn't his own god is practically hersay. as we evolve it becomes harder for man to acknowledge the fundementals: we're hunters, we're gathers. woman have babies and practice forms of divanation. men plow fields and think women to be the root of all evil. a machine doesn't make the man and can't control the brain. the oldest elements : air and water are the wisest.my drive is on intellect and emotion, not change or buinsess. who knows. who knows what the future can truly bring?