Rest in Peace Robby
Alright. Today was awful. My day has been so fucked up. First, i get restrained not once, but TWICE. THEN! When i thought everything would be better, I realized today was Robby's one year death anniversary. And i felt so fucking horrible for forgetting, then remembering at the last minute. Robby was my best guy friend in the fucking world. And he got murdered last year. [ 2/1/04 ] Well i can't really say murdered. Cause we were all there when it happened. Here's the story. Some fucking filthy nigger liked Robby's little sister. And he knew that the guy was a scumbag right from the start. And his little sister didn't like the kid either. But the kid wouldn't leave her alone. So Robby was like alright, either you leave her the fuck alone or you get your ass beat. And he layed off for a day or two. Then we're all at Robby's place. And we hear his sister screaming GO AWAY and shit like that outside. So me and Robby run outside, and that little fucking punk was outside with about 7 of his friends. And Robby told his sister to go in the house, so she did. Then Robby was gettin in the kids face like WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU and blah blah, and they were yelling at each other for a while, then all of a sudden Robby goes down. And i'm like WHAT THE FUCK?! And i see blood fucking GUSHING out of his stomach. That fuckin kid stabbed Robby 5 fuckin times, and while he was down, they all kicked him and shit, and i jumped in and tried beatin them fuckers up, but i ended up gettin punched a few times. A few minutes later, those fucks ran away, like bitches. And i went over to Robby, and i held his head up so he could breath better. And i was screamin for his nana to come out.. I just kept screaming it ' NANA NANA NANA ', or tried to but i was cryin, so it pretty much came out as choked up squeals, and she came out. And started screaming and crying. And i was just like Robby, keep your head up, you gutta stay strong.. Just trynna keep him awake and shit.. And he was just like ' Sheila, i can't breath... I don't wanna die.. You need me, Nana needs me. ' His voice was fading a bit, so i couldn't really hear him.. But i started BAWLIN.. I knew he was gunna make it.. But he knew, too. His last word : ' Don't cry, i love you. ' And it's fucked up. Cause i feel like i could have stopped him from dyin. If i had put something on him to stop the bleeding, i don't know.. I feel like he would have still been here. But i'm slow like that. I tend to fuck alot of shit up. But anyways.. That kid that did it, the cops found him hiding in his attic all curled up in a ball and shit. I don't even know what the fuck happened to that kid. But i hope he's been shot or some shit. He killed someone who never had anything against anyone, did good in school, never fucked up, sober kid. Only 17, and you're gunna fuck up his life just like that? With no fucking sympathy or regret? FUCK YOU! Since i rememberd, i've been smoking so many fucking cigarettes. And i thought i could quit.. HAH. Fuck me. Well, this entry is dedicated to Robby. And i have a song that reminds me of him. Cause it has some words in it that he'd always say. Like ' You're chasing the ghost of a good thing ' And that's the name of a song. Ghost of a good thing. I'm playing it now, and i can't stop crying. And it reminds me of what's going on with me right now, too. I just wanna fuckin kill someone. There's new holes in my door.. And ahhh. I just don't fuckin know what to do with myself right now. I'm shutting everyone out. I just can't deal with anyone right now. I can barely deal with myself.
Rest in Peace Robby, i love you always.
[ 4/6/86 - 2/1/04 ]
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
No, they weren’t meant for this
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away, away, away, away from you again
Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It’s getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts