back to the rest of my story. where did i leave off ? i think it was around stealing from my mom, that being my cry for help, walking to my sister's house and telling her what really was happening with me
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Re: i couldn't remember my password.cunninghamz_August 11 2009, 22:03:52 UTC
i am fabulous being okay. i have my complaints, but who doesn't ? it doesn't mean that i have to dwell on it all day and let it decide my mood. it's really important to me that even at the end of the night, you can still start the day over however you want it to. even if it's 11:59 pm. it's just a matter of your attitude on life.
i've learned a lot in recovery hahah, this stuff is imbedded in my BRAIN. but it's not such bad knowledge to have. =) i mean, i don't live my life by the "n.a./a.a program" -- there's a lot i don't agree with, like how black and white it is... and i believe in the grays. big time. and somebodddddyyyyy would agree with me. =D somebody speciaaaallll. oooooooooo ! who can it beeeee ? =DDD
but anyway. i quit smoking cigarettes. like three days ago. and i am going CRAZY. i'm at work and it's "back to school" season and this is office depot which is like staples, so it's absolutely insane right now. i definitely picked the wrong time to stop smoking. but whatever, it's more challenging. it's hard doing the right thing, geez !
-- yes, it's steve. he's doing amazing and he looks even more amazing these days. we had a fabulous weekend this past weekend. we went to the beach. had some drinks at this great little restaurant on the water. went down to city place in west palm which was fun and went to the movies. drove around. got some more drinks. walked on the beach some more, but at night which is so much more romantic and held each other.
i mean, it couldn't have gotten more romantic and storybook. it was definitely fabulous. and i deserved it. and so did he. and now i find out on the 19th if he's getting an apartment and if he is, then i'll be... moving in with him ! =X
every night at 11:11 i wish that it comes true. and if it doesn't, then we're just gonna have to deal with weekend visits until it does happen. then it'll be the most expensive relationship i've ever been in. totally worth it.
Re: i couldn't remember my password.i_aim_to_pleaseAugust 25 2009, 05:19:04 UTC
steve's hot. i had such a huge boner for him back in the day. hahaha
i hope the cigarette quitting is working out for you! i quit in like.. 5 minutes. the first time i got a panic attack smoking i was like 'shit. these are doing it to me' and i gave them up.
they weren't doing it to me at all, but it was months later that i realized that i was just fucked from stress and it seemed silly to start smoking again, since i wasn't addicted anymore.
i'm really glad you're happy and i hope that you're writing this all down somewhere.
Re: i couldn't remember my password.cunninghamz_August 27 2009, 16:42:17 UTC
steve's over with. he just totally led me on. like really hardcore. but i'm over it. he's more of a phony than michael ever was.
i am dating now though. there's this cute guy mike that i've been hanging out with the past few days. i'm not getting attached or anything. i'm taking it slow. as opposed to all my past relationships where things moved way too fast. he's just a really nice, wholesome (it's weird because i'm usually with scumbags) guy who surfs and skim-boards and is really active and sweet. and super super cute. he's got a great smile with dimples and like crystal blue eyes. and he's athletic but not in a gay way. in like an "extreme sports" kind of way. i skim-boarded yesterday and totally busted my ass. it was really fun though. i like being active.
yeah, so i'm having fun. steve's an asshole. it's no big deal. i would never feed into his ego and be this sad mess over him. but i like mike. and i like being single. it's fun. =) and in a non-whore "i'm gonna fuck every guy" sense. because that's gross.
Re: i couldn't remember my password.i_aim_to_pleaseAugust 27 2009, 20:56:01 UTC
see, that sounds more like the steve i remember. probably the reason my boner never acted on it's desires. ;)
you're better off, anyway. he was really a shit head back in the day. like, he gave his g/f the clap a few years ago when he cheated on her. i asked someone if it was "inappropriate" to tell that to a friend and they said yes, so i'm sorry steve is a shit head and that i didn't mention that mess. <3
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being single is where it's at. and on the beach?? ughh! jealous as shit!! i'd totally get a job as a waitress on the beach and just be a total creep about all the boys i meet. flirting is the best.
man. i really miss being single.. and not in a 'i want to fuck every guy' kind of way, either but it's really wonderful to have that kind of personal space.. i think you needed a good break from something serious after michael anyway. if josh and i ever break up, i'm going to take a month off from life, save all of my money and go to montmartyre france.
i want to have to walk everywhere and be more active, too. i need to be on a beach. =/
Re: i couldn&amp;amp;amp;#39;t remember my password.cunninghamz_August 27 2009, 21:47:45 UTC
wow that's disgusting considering i had sex with him while i was here. ugh. it was actually a little awkward when he was here. he got really annoying towards the end. he was way too like.. i don't know, boring and needy ? he told me the same stupid stories over and over. and like all he talked about was dope. i'm like alright. so, how's this whole "living your life" going ?
whatever. mike's really really cute. and such a gentleman. i talked to his best friend's girlfriend last night at the beach and she had nothing but good things to say about him. that he was the nice guy who girls fucked over all the time and even after they did he'd still be there for him. it makes you look at a person differently. but yeah, he like opens doors for me and does all that good stuff. it's so weird, i've never hung out with such a good guy.
but i like nice guys now. =) my self-esteem and taste level has raised a couple of notches. it's nice to have standards and morals. hahah. that sounds so bad. but whatever. i lived and i learned.
it's really important to me that even at the end of the night, you can still start the day over however you want it to. even if it's 11:59 pm.
it's just a matter of your attitude on life.
i've learned a lot in recovery hahah, this stuff is imbedded in my BRAIN.
but it's not such bad knowledge to have. =)
i mean, i don't live my life by the "n.a./a.a program" -- there's a lot i don't agree with, like how black and white it is... and i believe in the grays. big time.
and somebodddddyyyyy would agree with me. =D
somebody speciaaaallll. oooooooooo ! who can it beeeee ? =DDD
but anyway.
i quit smoking cigarettes.
like three days ago.
and i am going CRAZY. i'm at work and it's "back to school" season and this is office depot which is like staples, so it's absolutely insane right now. i definitely picked the wrong time to stop smoking.
but whatever, it's more challenging.
it's hard doing the right thing, geez !
-- yes, it's steve. he's doing amazing and he looks even more amazing these days.
we had a fabulous weekend this past weekend.
we went to the beach.
had some drinks at this great little restaurant on the water.
went down to city place in west palm which was fun and went to the movies.
drove around.
got some more drinks.
walked on the beach some more, but at night which is so much more romantic and held each other.
i mean, it couldn't have gotten more romantic and storybook.
it was definitely fabulous. and i deserved it. and so did he.
and now i find out on the 19th if he's getting an apartment and if he is, then i'll be... moving in with him ! =X
every night at 11:11 i wish that it comes true. and if it doesn't, then we're just gonna have to deal with weekend visits until it does happen.
then it'll be the most expensive relationship i've ever been in. totally worth it.
Reply
i hope the cigarette quitting is working out for you! i quit in like.. 5 minutes. the first time i got a panic attack smoking i was like 'shit. these are doing it to me' and i gave them up.
they weren't doing it to me at all, but it was months later that i realized that i was just fucked from stress and it seemed silly to start smoking again, since i wasn't addicted anymore.
i'm really glad you're happy and i hope that you're writing this all down somewhere.
i love your story.
Reply
but i'm over it. he's more of a phony than michael ever was.
i am dating now though. there's this cute guy mike that i've been hanging out with the past few days.
i'm not getting attached or anything. i'm taking it slow. as opposed to all my past relationships where things moved way too fast.
he's just a really nice, wholesome (it's weird because i'm usually with scumbags) guy who surfs and skim-boards and is really active and sweet.
and super super cute. he's got a great smile with dimples and like crystal blue eyes. and he's athletic but not in a gay way. in like an "extreme sports" kind of way.
i skim-boarded yesterday and totally busted my ass. it was really fun though.
i like being active.
yeah, so i'm having fun. steve's an asshole. it's no big deal. i would never feed into his ego and be this sad mess over him.
but i like mike. and i like being single. it's fun. =) and in a non-whore "i'm gonna fuck every guy" sense. because that's gross.
Reply
you're better off, anyway. he was really a shit head back in the day. like, he gave his g/f the clap a few years ago when he cheated on her. i asked someone if it was "inappropriate" to tell that to a friend and they said yes, so i'm sorry steve is a shit head and that i didn't mention that mess. <3
-
being single is where it's at.
and on the beach?? ughh! jealous as shit!!
i'd totally get a job as a waitress on the beach and just be a total creep about all the boys i meet.
flirting is the best.
man. i really miss being single..
and not in a 'i want to fuck every guy' kind of way, either
but it's really wonderful to have that kind of personal space..
i think you needed a good break from something serious after michael anyway.
if josh and i ever break up, i'm going to take a month off from life, save all of my money and go to montmartyre france.
i want to have to walk everywhere and be more active, too.
i need to be on a beach. =/
Reply
it was actually a little awkward when he was here. he got really annoying towards the end. he was way too like.. i don't know, boring and needy ? he told me the same stupid stories over and over. and like all he talked about was dope. i'm like alright. so, how's this whole "living your life" going ?
whatever. mike's really really cute. and such a gentleman. i talked to his best friend's girlfriend last night at the beach and she had nothing but good things to say about him. that he was the nice guy who girls fucked over all the time and even after they did he'd still be there for him. it makes you look at a person differently. but yeah, he like opens doors for me and does all that good stuff.
it's so weird, i've never hung out with such a good guy.
but i like nice guys now. =)
my self-esteem and taste level has raised a couple of notches. it's nice to have standards and morals. hahah. that sounds so bad. but whatever. i lived and i learned.
Reply
i meant he'd be there for them.
was that confusing ? whoopsiiiies.
Reply
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