CUN NEWS....
It's time for the only news that matters, CUN NEWS, The Cunny News Network!
NEWS AROUND THE WORLD:
SNAKE TRIES TO EAT ALLIGATOR
Miami, FL - Accoring to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, a 13 foot Burmese python burst open as it attempted to eat a live six foot alligator. Now, I used to think snakes were badass, but this incident has lead me to the conclusion that snakes are fuckin stupid.
MAN INVENTS FAKE DOG TESTICLES
Boston - Greg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention, prothstetic dog testicles for neutered dogs. On Thursday this earned him the 'Ig Nobel Prize'. Yeah I don't know what the fuck those are either, but apparently the Ig Nobel Prize is awarded by Anals of Improbable Research magazine. (I'm sorry that's ANNALS with two n's not ANALS.) Miller calls them 'Neuticles' and to date has sold over 150,000. Miller is currently working on 'Ballstrongs', fake testicles for male cyclists.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:
TED KOPPEL LEAVING NIGHTLINE
Ted Koppel is scheduled to leave Nightline in November. Nobody cares.
'TWO FOR THE MONEY' COMES OUT TODAY
Al Pacino's newest film opens today. Unfortuantely it stars the guy from 'ED TV'. It also unfortunately stars Al Pacino, whom no one has cared about since 'Scent of a Woman' HOO-AH!
NEWS AROUND THE WORLD:
SNAKE TRIES TO EAT ALLIGATOR
Miami, FL - Accoring to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, a 13 foot Burmese python burst open as it attempted to eat a live six foot alligator. Now, I used to think snakes were badass, but this incident has lead me to the conclusion that snakes are fuckin stupid.
MAN INVENTS FAKE DOG TESTICLES
Boston - Greg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention, prothstetic dog testicles for neutered dogs. On Thursday this earned him the 'Ig Nobel Prize'. Yeah I don't know what the fuck those are either, but apparently the Ig Nobel Prize is awarded by Anals of Improbable Research magazine. (I'm sorry that's ANNALS with two n's not ANALS.) Miller calls them 'Neuticles' and to date has sold over 150,000. Miller is currently working on 'Ballstrongs', fake testicles for male cyclists.
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:
TED KOPPEL LEAVING NIGHTLINE
Ted Koppel is scheduled to leave Nightline in November. Nobody cares.
'TWO FOR THE MONEY' COMES OUT TODAY
Al Pacino's newest film opens today. Unfortuantely it stars the guy from 'ED TV'. It also unfortunately stars Al Pacino, whom no one has cared about since 'Scent of a Woman' HOO-AH!