(no subject)
Okay so...All this shit is going down, And I'm on the shitty end of the stick. Jon doesnt think I'll keep to my word when I said I wouldnt EVER touch another guy again. But you know what. I have really learned my fucking lesson.
And no one seems to see anything in my point of veiw, I never kissed Chris. I bit him, and he started kissing my neck. Jon should think of it this way, if some girl started to go down on him, he wouldnt stop her. He wouldnt think to himself"Oh I can't do this to Christine" He would be like fuck that, this feels good. Sounds bad, but I dont fucking care, I have no defenses.
And I sat here at the computer until after 2am, BEGGING like a MF for forgiveness and ONE more chance. I probably dont deserve it. But I give up!! There Isnt anything else I can say or do. I love him more than anything.
I've only had two chances, and things have changed in between the 2nd time and this time. I have learned my lesson. Right now, I think Chris is mearly one of my worst enemies. I don't want to send him off to Buffalo. But if thats what has to happen, go ahead. I want Jon...nothing about that. And I know I fucked up. i know I'm a hypocrit, and I know I can be a fucking bitch. But I have learned my lesson the hard way. And I wish Jon could see that. I have been crying for 2 days straight now. I have learned from my mistakes, and through my whole life, my mom has always told me that "You Hurt The One's You Love!!!" Thats what happened to my mom and dad. My daddy kept giving her chances and things just didnt work out after all, they got a divorce. But I love Jon, and I'll do anything in my power to try and get him to love me again. I know I fucked him over a few times. But he seems to compair me and his mom & Melissa. All three of us are completely different. And he says that he has figured out that people will keep fucking him over and saying Sorry. Well, he has only given me 2 other chances. And I fucked it up both times. This one last chance (If he'd consider it) I WILL show him I'm different. I learned from my mistakes. But whatever. I give up. I've said everything. I feel like I'm on repeat. Laterz
And no one seems to see anything in my point of veiw, I never kissed Chris. I bit him, and he started kissing my neck. Jon should think of it this way, if some girl started to go down on him, he wouldnt stop her. He wouldnt think to himself"Oh I can't do this to Christine" He would be like fuck that, this feels good. Sounds bad, but I dont fucking care, I have no defenses.
And I sat here at the computer until after 2am, BEGGING like a MF for forgiveness and ONE more chance. I probably dont deserve it. But I give up!! There Isnt anything else I can say or do. I love him more than anything.
I've only had two chances, and things have changed in between the 2nd time and this time. I have learned my lesson. Right now, I think Chris is mearly one of my worst enemies. I don't want to send him off to Buffalo. But if thats what has to happen, go ahead. I want Jon...nothing about that. And I know I fucked up. i know I'm a hypocrit, and I know I can be a fucking bitch. But I have learned my lesson the hard way. And I wish Jon could see that. I have been crying for 2 days straight now. I have learned from my mistakes, and through my whole life, my mom has always told me that "You Hurt The One's You Love!!!" Thats what happened to my mom and dad. My daddy kept giving her chances and things just didnt work out after all, they got a divorce. But I love Jon, and I'll do anything in my power to try and get him to love me again. I know I fucked him over a few times. But he seems to compair me and his mom & Melissa. All three of us are completely different. And he says that he has figured out that people will keep fucking him over and saying Sorry. Well, he has only given me 2 other chances. And I fucked it up both times. This one last chance (If he'd consider it) I WILL show him I'm different. I learned from my mistakes. But whatever. I give up. I've said everything. I feel like I'm on repeat. Laterz