Glub 004 // Not-so-secret Santa (in May)

[cull_means_care]

[Now that she has a little more learning under her belt, Feferi's been busy. At some point over the weekend, the kitchen will be out of commission as she bakes up a storm. One does not disturb the Sea Dweller while she is baking

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[action]

[hamburellakind]

[Sometimes John just gets super lucky. Today is one of those days! He opens his door just as Feferi arrives.]

Oh, hey. Um. You're...Feferi?

[More importantly:]

...Are those cupcakes?

[action]

[cull_means_care]

[Feferi had been hoping for a quick drop-off and getaway, because why spoil the surprise? But she doesn't exactly mind that John's caught her]

Hello, John. Yes, they are cupcakes. I made them for you!

[And she holds out the basket for him to take]

[hamburellakind]

[John takes it, giving them an appreciative once-over.]

Fishcakes! That is awesome! Thanks!

[...Sniff.]

Are they fish flavored?

[cull_means_care]

[Feferi giggles]

That's a sensible question, John, but no. Fish in look only.

[She is perhaps the only person in the entire mansion who would consider that sensible. But then she did make cuttlefish flavour fudge]

[hamburellakind]

Cool! [And then he hesitates.

God he had so much cake on his birthday. Yeah, hindsight says his dad was just being a totally awesome dad and whatever but fuck that was a lot of cake.

But it'd be mean to not try them sooo. He takes one out of the basket and takes a big bite.] Mmmf. 'sgood.

[cull_means_care]

[Feferi worries slightly at his hesitance, but relaxes when he takes a bite]

I'm glad! I think I'm really getting the hang of this human art of cooking.

[hamburellakind]

Yeah, I mean, it's like...straight from the box or something!

[He's not sure if that's a compliment. Betty Crocker isn't everyone's nemesis, right? Right.]

[cull_means_care]

Box? Why would it be from a box?

[hamburellakind]

Because some people are lazy and shiftless?

[...Whoa, that was kinda dark! He shakes his head, surprised at himself.]

Because it's easier for some people. It's just the dry ingredients, I think, so they still have to mix it all together, at least.

[cull_means_care]

Oh! Well I didn't do that. I did it just as Mr Wonka showed me to.

[hamburellakind]

Mr. Wonka?

[...That name kind of sounds familiar. But that movie isn't terrible so let's say John hasn't seen it!]

Is he...related to anybody named Crocker? I mean, if you know. I'm just. Wondering.

[cull_means_care]

Yes. You know, the human who likes to bake cakes and candy and who was teaching us how to do so during the event?

[She shrugs at his question]

I don't think so? But I wouldn't really know...perhaps you could ask him?

[hamburellakind]

Oh, right. Um. Yeah I'll have to...talk to him.

[John pauses, thinking back on some stuff Karkat told him.]

So you're, uh...a sea-troll, right?

[cull_means_care]

You should! He's very friendly. I think you'll like him.

I am, yes. The gills gave it away, huh?

[hamburellakind]

Yeah, kinda. Um. I...heard some things about Eridan. I don't want to assume stuff about him because, you know, rumors aren't always true and stuff...but Karkat is usually pretty straightforward and I think you're pretty nice so it'd kind of suck if his being right about Eridan, maybe, like, extended to you...

[Wow, that was long and awkward.]

Uh, I guess what I'm trying to ask is...is the whole land versus sea thing really that big of a deal? Eri-- er, Eridan...he just seemed kinda angry. Like Karkat, actually.

[cull_means_care]

[Oh John. Clearly there are some gaps Feferi needs to fill in]

It's really not. Eridan is forever carping on about it, about how he's going to cull all of the land dwellers, but it's really all a red herring. The amount of time he's actually spent in the sea, he almost might as well be a land dweller himself.

[She sighs]

Eridan is dear to me, but he's a lot of hard work.