NCIS Series: "The Pissing Contest" Part III; G/D
Title: The Pissing Contest - Part III
Author: Cuke
Characters/Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Inspired by ncis_drabble 's challenge: #280 - Things happens
Rating: future NC-17
Spoilers: for season four - set sometime after that
Warnings: Smut, bad language, maligning of mustaches
Summary: One very important thing doesn't happen. (Until it does.)
My thanks to gibbsgirlabby for the beta! Any lasting mistakes are mine alone. Thanks, also, to wintermute_lj for being my sounding board.
Previous
Tony was still seeking refuge down in Abby's lab when McGee found him two hours later, twirling in her chair. “Gibbs is looking for you,” the younger agent frowned, nodding toward the door. “Let's go.”
“Why? So he can breathe down my neck some more and get me hot and bothered?” DiNozzo was staring at the ceiling as he spun. “No, thank you. If he really needed me for something he’d call.”
The beautiful goth laughed from in front of her computer, a bit of a leer slipping in. “He can get me hot and bothered anytime he wants!” She smiled unrepentantly at Tony's sharp glare. “What? It’s harmless - there's no intent!”
McGee decided he'd better break in before things continued down this road. It was one thing to know that two of the guys on your team were sleeping together; it was quite another to have it waived around in front of your face. “Whatever. Can't you just... you know, sleep with him or something, Tony? You know you're gonna give in eventually.”
DiNozzo appeared to be holding himself back from sticking out his tongue, but just barely. “No can do, Probie, not until the world is safe from the evil 'stache.”
Huffing impatiently, Tim tried another tactic: guilt. “You know you two are making it weird around here - weird even for you. You're making everyone uncomfortable - you're making me uncomfortable!”
Tony continued to spin faster and faster, especially after Abby gave him a huge push to increase his velocity. “Your anger is misguided, McVirginEars. What's really making you uncomfortable is that thing holding his upper lip hostage. I’m taking one for the team here! Or, er, not taking one for the team, if you know what I mean...”
“What if I paid you?”
The chair came to a screeching halt. DiNozzo eyed him skeptically. “You want to pay me...? To sleep with Gibbs? How much?”
“Ten bucks?”
“Muh-Gee! Ten bucks?! How cheap do you think I am?”
“I dunno, you've been doing it for free up until now, so it can't be that bad. Plus, it's all I've got on me.”
Tony seemed to consider it. “Let me see it.” He waited until McGee held out the money before snatching it and pocketing it.
“So, you'll do it?” McGee asked hopefully.
“Nope.”
“Then give me my money back!”
“You, my friend, have just learned a valuable lesson: Never pay up front until services rendered. Now get out of here before I have you up on charge of solicitation and attempting to bribe a federal agent. Scoot!”
Abby gave him a cheerful wave goodbye as a pissed McGee stalked from the room. She turned back to her friend, studying him thoughtfully. “You know, you could just tell Gibbs the real reason it bothers you so much.”
Tony sighed and went back to studying the ceiling tiles. Be honest and share his feelings? Obviously Ms. Scuito didn’t know him as well as she thought she did.