ehhh...
So I'm about 15 minutes away from my first day at my new part-time job. Yeah . . . 9:00am start time is nice, much nicer than having to be there at 7:30, leaving here by 7:05. I have to be at work in 15 minutes and I'm still sitting in my apartment watching Animal Planet and blogging. Again, nice. :)
Now, that said, I'm nervous! This is my first office type job. Eventually I'm going to have to get leases too. The office girls think that I'm very outgoing and have a great personality and that I'm going to do a great job. They're taking me with them on ride-throughs for a few days and then they think I'll be ready to go out on my own. I'm not so sure about that.....I know that deep down I'm really shy! But lately when I've said that people have laughed at me; they disagree! So maybe, just maybe, I'm not shy anymore! Maybe I've grown up and changed a bit. I guess we'll see shortly....
Another worry. What if I don't catch on right away? It's going to be a very organized type job and as much as I LIKE organization, I am also very forgetful and I like to lay things down and forget about it. Just ask Ms. Cantrell, Mrs. Adair, Mrs. Latimer, and anyone else I've ever worked with . . . But maybe that's just in a school setting when there are SO MANY things going on at once. Maybe I'll do better here. AAHH!!! I just hate feeling stupid and inadequate. I want to know everything NOW!
And last of all....what if I like this? I've always said I wanted an office/secretary type job. It's the kind of thing I like to do, and now that I'm doing it, what if it's everything I want? What if, after this, I don't WANT to go back to teaching? That scares me. That I spent four years in college and then another fourteen months getting my masters just to give it up four months later? I don't know. I'm still trying to get a teaching job but I'm having no luck. This job has the potential to be full-time in September. So for now I'm hoping for a teaching position while still knowing this job COULD be permanent. I hope that I like this job, but I still want to like teaching better. I don't want to have to consider my options. I want to enjoy this but go back to teaching in the fall. Then all will be right in the world. But if I LOVE this . . . who knows what could happen?
Now, that said, I'm nervous! This is my first office type job. Eventually I'm going to have to get leases too. The office girls think that I'm very outgoing and have a great personality and that I'm going to do a great job. They're taking me with them on ride-throughs for a few days and then they think I'll be ready to go out on my own. I'm not so sure about that.....I know that deep down I'm really shy! But lately when I've said that people have laughed at me; they disagree! So maybe, just maybe, I'm not shy anymore! Maybe I've grown up and changed a bit. I guess we'll see shortly....
Another worry. What if I don't catch on right away? It's going to be a very organized type job and as much as I LIKE organization, I am also very forgetful and I like to lay things down and forget about it. Just ask Ms. Cantrell, Mrs. Adair, Mrs. Latimer, and anyone else I've ever worked with . . . But maybe that's just in a school setting when there are SO MANY things going on at once. Maybe I'll do better here. AAHH!!! I just hate feeling stupid and inadequate. I want to know everything NOW!
And last of all....what if I like this? I've always said I wanted an office/secretary type job. It's the kind of thing I like to do, and now that I'm doing it, what if it's everything I want? What if, after this, I don't WANT to go back to teaching? That scares me. That I spent four years in college and then another fourteen months getting my masters just to give it up four months later? I don't know. I'm still trying to get a teaching job but I'm having no luck. This job has the potential to be full-time in September. So for now I'm hoping for a teaching position while still knowing this job COULD be permanent. I hope that I like this job, but I still want to like teaching better. I don't want to have to consider my options. I want to enjoy this but go back to teaching in the fall. Then all will be right in the world. But if I LOVE this . . . who knows what could happen?