For Susie: Slither
Movie Review for Slither - written with my flist in mind, but shared here
So I went to see Slither, the new movie with Nathan Fillion.
Well...I can say this. In the world of gross horror movies, this is definitely the grossest I've seen in terms of gore, alien rape, and other just downright gross stuff.
On the other hand, it WAS pretty funny. It was a horror movie, but I didn't find myself scared a bit. Though I was often laughing...
For those who liked Nathan as Mal in Firefly, strangly enough his character here is pretty much the same, he just carries a much smaller gun. In fact if you want to imagine it IS Mal minus his ship and crew, you could probably get away with it.
One thing the previews don't get across is that this is more or less a zombie movie (though not in the strictest sense). Only instead of the "zombies" wanting to eat your brain, they'd like to either infect your brain (with the worms that are in theirs) or just plain eat you (MEAT!). But then the zombie theme isn't surprising considering this movie was done by the same people who made the "Dawn of the Dead" remake (my personal favorite zombie movie, btw).
These zombies are jerky, but they're fast. And the come in multiple flavors. Breeders (seriously gross--the eat until they explode and release thousands of little red slugs that are superquick and like to jump in your mouth), soldiers (who just walk around with worms in their brains and eat you or feed you to breeders), and the master squid thing (who has a massive body, tentacles, and all sorts of gross habits including sticking tentatcles in people to spread his worm spawn and merging with his minions in some sick orgy with no explanation) who starts out human but once infected by an alien egg soon begins to change. Oh yeah...and the zombie deer. You'll just have to watch to see that!
As for the other people in the movie...well. You know how in most Hollywood movies there are two sorts of people--the Hollywood attractive (gorgeous people) and the Hollywood unattractive (look a little quirky or aged or more like us normal folks, but still much more attractive than most people you know)? This movie apparently hired mutants. Most of the town folk are some of the ugliest people you'd ever meet. And the moral of this movie seems to be that ugly mutantish people die, Hollywood unattractive people die later and more dramatically, and only the most attractive of the Hollywood attractive will survive. Yeah...I'm doomed.
The movie itself isn't as funny, but some of the dialogue is just downright hilarious. My favorite line is the phrase "It's family fun day!" - again, I'll let you watch to find out why. But other exchanges (which should satisfy NF fans include stuff like the following:)
Girl as they watch the zombies: Now what's going to happen to us?
Barney (NF): We'll probably turn into one of those things.
Girl: You're not very optimistic are you.
Barney: It's been one of those days.
Also:
Officer after seeing squid monster kill a man and a woman the size of a building who's about to explode: This ain't right! I've seen animal planet, and they ain't never shown anything like this!
Also a very funny exchange about a backed-up toilet and the best crimal pattern analysis I've seen in a while (pictures of squid everywhere the main monster has attacked pasted).
But yeah...all in all, I'd have to say that of all the Jossverse actor horror movies I've seen this is (perhaps sadly as it's a low bar to jump across) the best I've seen. Very funny. But DO NOT bring kids...and maybe don't eat to much either, because did I mention--gross?