Library of Four Winds Challenge -- Sweet
It bothered her more than a little some of the time. Perhaps a lot of the time. There was this way they looked at her, something in their eyes that made her want to scream at them. More Midir than Michael, but then Michael had known her just as her, had never seen her as her.
Sometimes Keelia hated her. It was her fault, after all. She hadn't been able to defend herself, even as a Sidhe. She'd let Fuamnach do as she would, and wrought all of this. Even when she didn't hate her for that, she hated her for the way Midir looked at her.
She wasn't perfect. She wasn't innocent. She wasn't sweet. She'd done things and thought things that would put that to rest, but they wouldn't listen when she tried to tell them. She tried to throw herself off of the pedastal, but it was too high, and every time she tried, they ran to catch her.
There was an irrational wish that they'd let her fall, but she knew in the end that they wouldn't. They felt they'd let her down too many times. Couldn't see where she'd started it all herself. But it hurt, as flattering as it was that they worked so hard to protect her, it still hurt to know they felt they had to. That she couldn't protect herself.
Somewhere inside, she thought that she could. That she knew how to fight this battle, how to finally win. She knew what it would take and it would have to come from her. There was nothing sweet about the solution, and she wondered, repeatedly, why she hadn't taken that step. If nothing else, it would banish that look from their eyes forever.
She wondered where she'd be then.
Sometimes Keelia hated her. It was her fault, after all. She hadn't been able to defend herself, even as a Sidhe. She'd let Fuamnach do as she would, and wrought all of this. Even when she didn't hate her for that, she hated her for the way Midir looked at her.
She wasn't perfect. She wasn't innocent. She wasn't sweet. She'd done things and thought things that would put that to rest, but they wouldn't listen when she tried to tell them. She tried to throw herself off of the pedastal, but it was too high, and every time she tried, they ran to catch her.
There was an irrational wish that they'd let her fall, but she knew in the end that they wouldn't. They felt they'd let her down too many times. Couldn't see where she'd started it all herself. But it hurt, as flattering as it was that they worked so hard to protect her, it still hurt to know they felt they had to. That she couldn't protect herself.
Somewhere inside, she thought that she could. That she knew how to fight this battle, how to finally win. She knew what it would take and it would have to come from her. There was nothing sweet about the solution, and she wondered, repeatedly, why she hadn't taken that step. If nothing else, it would banish that look from their eyes forever.
She wondered where she'd be then.