(no subject)
"The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. They had become stories. Nobody brought up the bad names or the bad times. And nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia." Damn, how I relate to that. I love it when I read books that explain exactly how I feel or what I'm thinking.
Many of my good, best friends are gone now. Even if physically they are close to me, it seems like everyone is moving on and growing up. I can't stop wondering of what we're gonna be like once we have our lives organized (I am aware that it will never happen.) I miss so many people and I'm not used to it, I have no choice. Sara moved to Tampa, I can't say I miss her as much as she misses us, I am happy that she has a new life and I am sure that this is gonna work out for the better, even if she can't see it. I drove by her complex and memories flashed by, all the moments we shared. Four years went by too fast.
Darius moved to Germany, not forever but why would he want to come back? I wouldn't be surprised if he stays there.
Shane moved too. I finally got to talk to him a few days ago, I'm glad I had the chance to hear what he had to say, cus all I've been hearing is what his friends think, which personally I can understand but people don't realize that one should live life for themselves and do things to fullfill their dreams and happiness, even if this involves moving away or 'selling out', I don't know, what ever. I miss him so much though, I can't see things the same anymore, even if we didn't see each other that often when he lived here, I knew he was close to me, now he's miles away, states away, time zones away. I hate this. I love him.
I went to school to pick up my schedule and all that shit. I have no math classes and I have to re-take some classes, damn I did so bad last semester of school and I take all blame for it cus I just didn't care. It will be alright. I'm going to GPC next fall. I'm getting a car soon (in about 2-3 months, I need to save up some money) and I am hoping to get that job, so bad.
I'm getting a haircut because lastnight when I was getting ready to go to a show I realized how disgusting my hair looks, I am unhappy with it. I hate sounding like a girl, but I am one after all. I've been keeping up with my vegetrianism very well, I don't crave meat or dead animals. Only chicken every now and then. My point is that it's been a lot easier than I thought.
And I'm an idiot for being so nice to others.