deep end (Free!, Rin/Haru)
Title: deep end
Fandom: Free!
Pairing: Rin/Haru
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Free! and its characters do not belong to me.
Summary: He can never ask Rin to stop.
A/N: Part of a weeklong drabble-a-day project I’m doing with my ladylove. The prompt was to pick something from this list of paraphilias; I went with “hypoxyphilia” (sexual arousal from limiting or withholding oxygen).
The water slows Rin’s touches but doesn’t soften them, because he’s fighting it and Haru wants to ask him why. He wants to stop him-no. Not stop him, he can never ask Rin to stop, he has to keep going, keep moving or he’ll die, he’s always been pushing farther, always racing to something that’s all his own, something Haru can’t see. So he doesn’t want to stop him but he wants to understand him.
He can’t speak. They’ve sunk deep enough that their feet touch the bottom; if the pool was not lit, they’d be blind. Haru feels close to blindness already because it’s never been like this before. It’s not like swimming or floating, they’re moving too much in ways he isn’t sure of, nothing is still and he can’t get a clear picture. He knows that they’re naked. He knows that Rin’s hair is in his face, making everything go red. Rin’s hand is brutal in its roughness, gripping and sliding over his flesh with a determination he doesn’t try to match. His own strokes are gentle, exploratory, and only succeed in making Rin touch him harder. He needs air.
Rin lets him go when he shoves, follows him to the surface. “What’s wrong with you?” The question is accusing, goading and unimpressed. “I know you can hold your breath longer than that.”
Haru doesn’t answer him aloud, but he goes back down without any prompting. When he takes hold of Rin once more, it’s with purpose. He wants Rin to share in his confusion and his longing. He’s missed him, still misses him, and he wants to make him feel it. But Rin won’t let him have that. Even in this, Rin needs to beat him.
Fingers push inside of him. His writhing body grows hot, despite the coolness that surrounds them, rocks them. He swears he can hear Rin laughing. He can see his teeth, just a flash, sharp, and he opens his mouth without thinking when Rin kisses him. It isn’t a lover’s kiss. There’s passion, but the wrong kind. Rin is taking his air, pulling it from Haru’s mouth to his, and Haru lets him. His head goes light and empty and he jerks mindlessly, into Rin’s hand, onto his fingers. Caught, trapped, he ignores the protest of his screaming lungs, and it’s wrong, probably, but he trusts the water and he trusts Rin. When he comes, everything goes white and black all at once. It feels like he’s leaving himself, like he’s right on the edge of elusive freedom.
He misses several seconds. He’s above water then, breathing in small, silent gasps. Rin has him pressed to the side of the pool and it’s digging into his bare back, but Rin is grunting, pumping himself fiercely against his limp body. Haru watches him, wants to see the moment Rin gets there, and he can’t be sure but he thinks he says his name because Rin falters, just once, and his ears change color.
When he finally stiffens with release, Haru musters up the energy to drape his arms around Rin’s wet shoulders. He still can’t speak, not real words that would mean anything, so Haru tries to kiss him instead, but he doesn’t let him. The touch of his lips is too kind, and Rin’s already caught his breath.
Fandom: Free!
Pairing: Rin/Haru
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Free! and its characters do not belong to me.
Summary: He can never ask Rin to stop.
A/N: Part of a weeklong drabble-a-day project I’m doing with my ladylove. The prompt was to pick something from this list of paraphilias; I went with “hypoxyphilia” (sexual arousal from limiting or withholding oxygen).
The water slows Rin’s touches but doesn’t soften them, because he’s fighting it and Haru wants to ask him why. He wants to stop him-no. Not stop him, he can never ask Rin to stop, he has to keep going, keep moving or he’ll die, he’s always been pushing farther, always racing to something that’s all his own, something Haru can’t see. So he doesn’t want to stop him but he wants to understand him.
He can’t speak. They’ve sunk deep enough that their feet touch the bottom; if the pool was not lit, they’d be blind. Haru feels close to blindness already because it’s never been like this before. It’s not like swimming or floating, they’re moving too much in ways he isn’t sure of, nothing is still and he can’t get a clear picture. He knows that they’re naked. He knows that Rin’s hair is in his face, making everything go red. Rin’s hand is brutal in its roughness, gripping and sliding over his flesh with a determination he doesn’t try to match. His own strokes are gentle, exploratory, and only succeed in making Rin touch him harder. He needs air.
Rin lets him go when he shoves, follows him to the surface. “What’s wrong with you?” The question is accusing, goading and unimpressed. “I know you can hold your breath longer than that.”
Haru doesn’t answer him aloud, but he goes back down without any prompting. When he takes hold of Rin once more, it’s with purpose. He wants Rin to share in his confusion and his longing. He’s missed him, still misses him, and he wants to make him feel it. But Rin won’t let him have that. Even in this, Rin needs to beat him.
Fingers push inside of him. His writhing body grows hot, despite the coolness that surrounds them, rocks them. He swears he can hear Rin laughing. He can see his teeth, just a flash, sharp, and he opens his mouth without thinking when Rin kisses him. It isn’t a lover’s kiss. There’s passion, but the wrong kind. Rin is taking his air, pulling it from Haru’s mouth to his, and Haru lets him. His head goes light and empty and he jerks mindlessly, into Rin’s hand, onto his fingers. Caught, trapped, he ignores the protest of his screaming lungs, and it’s wrong, probably, but he trusts the water and he trusts Rin. When he comes, everything goes white and black all at once. It feels like he’s leaving himself, like he’s right on the edge of elusive freedom.
He misses several seconds. He’s above water then, breathing in small, silent gasps. Rin has him pressed to the side of the pool and it’s digging into his bare back, but Rin is grunting, pumping himself fiercely against his limp body. Haru watches him, wants to see the moment Rin gets there, and he can’t be sure but he thinks he says his name because Rin falters, just once, and his ears change color.
When he finally stiffens with release, Haru musters up the energy to drape his arms around Rin’s wet shoulders. He still can’t speak, not real words that would mean anything, so Haru tries to kiss him instead, but he doesn’t let him. The touch of his lips is too kind, and Rin’s already caught his breath.