Classic Disney Romance Moments: Epically Retold with Zoro and Sanji [OP, ZoSan]
Title: Classic Disney Romance Moments: Epically Retold with Zoro and Sanji
Fandom: One Piece/Disney crossover
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Other: Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Franky, Zeff, Zoro’s Sensei, Nami, Robin, Perona, Brooke, Zeff
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: One Piece, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Hercules, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and their characters do not belong to me.
A/NI should be working on my X-Mas fic. But thanks to Pillow, these thoughts wouldn’t leave my mind. So, here you go. At some point in time, if I receive enough sacrifices, I may extend these to tell the whole stories.
[Sleeping Beauty: The Kiss]
As he followed the three fairies up the winding staircase, Prince Sanji was careful to step over and around the limp, sleeping, and occasionally snoring bodies that littered the palace floor. “This reminds me of a party I went to once…”
“Prince Zoro’s chamber is just a little further,” said the Long-Nosed Fairy, who was quite relieved that this ordeal would soon be over.
“And once we get there, you’ll wake him and break the spell with True Love’s Kiss,” said the Reindeer Fairy, who thought it was all very nice and romantic.
“And then you’ll cook us a big feast,” said the Straw Hat Fairy, who was just hungry.
“Oi, Luffy,” hissed the first fairy, “there’s no big feast in this story.”
“Well, there should be.”
Sanji ignored them. He was focused on the whole saving-the-day thing. Doing heroic shit like that helped to disguise his 2-D generic “Prince Charming” persona, and made him look all cool.
Prince Zoro’s chamber was dark, cold, and heavy with the air of a witch’s curse. The three fairies hung back, hovering by the door and watching as Sanji slowly approached the bed. He looked down at the man lying there, the same mystery man he’d sung and danced in the woods with (without getting any action, dammit…) and felt his chest tighten in appreciation for this moment. This wasn’t simply Saving the Day. This was Breaking the Spell. This was Awakening True Love. This was Happily Ever After. This wasn’t something to take lightly…really, it should set the tone for the rest of their lives together.
So instead of kissing the sleeping prince awake, he kicked him in the face.
“OW!” Zoro sprang up from the bed, hand flying to his bloody nose. “What the fuck-”
The three fairies stared, mouths agape. “That’s not what you were supposed to do!”
Sanji shrugged, smirked at them over his shoulder. “It worked, didn’t it?”
[Snow White: The Other Kiss]
It was a very sad day in the forest. Even the birds and chipmunks and other such cute critters were grieving alongside the seven dwarves, who stood gazing mournfully at the glass coffin. The depressing sight was enough to make Prince Zoro, who simply happened to be conveniently riding by, stop his horse and inspect further, even though no one invited him to do so. As he neared the coffin, he recognized the man inside as the handsome prince he’d spied on-er, met some time ago.
“What happened to him?” He asked the closest dwarf, Nosey.
Nosey sniffled and wiped at his very prominent proboscis. “He ate an apple-”
“Ah. I knew those things were bad for you.”
“He ate an apple,” Nosey continued loudly, “that was poisoned by his wicked stepmother.”
“Oh.” Zoro scratched at the back of his neck. “That sucks.” After a moment of respectful silence, he picked up the reins of his horse. “Well, see ya.”
“Wait! D-Don’t you want to kiss him?”
Zoro looked down at Nosey, brow furrowed. “Uh, no. Why would I wanna kiss a dead guy?”
“B-Because,” the dwarf explained, mildly panicked, “that’s how the story goes.”
“Yeah, well, that story’s kinda sick.”
“JUST KISS HIM!”
“Tch. You kiss him. I’m outta here.”
And so the handsome prince remained in the glass coffin for many years, with a murderous expression on his face.
[Pocahontas: The Rescue]
It was dawn: time for the execution. Chief Franky’s men brought Sanji-hands tied behind his back and rope looped around his neck-to the cliff, where the big, broad-shouldered man himself was waiting with a club. Grunting as he was thrown to the hard ground, Sanji’s visible eye looked up at the chief with anger and frustration.
Below them, Governor Zeff and his men emerged through the trees. Sanji felt fear rising inside of him like the sun; if the two worlds collided, fought, like this, it would be a bloodbath, and all over a misunderstanding… Unless, of course, a certain brave, strong, bronzed-skinned prince came to his aid. Not like he was waiting for that. He just figured that might be how the story goes. Happy endings and all that.
Everyone else seemed to have the same idea. King Zeff’s men had their guns cocked and aimed, Chief Franky’s club was lifted and he seemed prepared to strike Sanji on the head at any moment. But no guns were firing and the club wasn’t being lowered. Everyone was still. Everyone was waiting.
And nothing was happening.
Chief Franky glanced over his shoulder at his men. “Isn’t Zoro supposed to be stopping me right about now?”
The men shrugged. “Should we wait a little longer?”
“For what it’s worth,” said Sanji, sounding extremely annoyed at his supposed true love, “I think we should.”
“I think we’ve waited all we can,” sighed Chief Franky, and he tightened his grip on the club. “Sorry, bro.”
Sanji groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, fuck…”
Meanwhile, Zoro slept soundly behind the curtain of Sensei Willow’s leaves, as the tree’s face frowned down at him in exasperation.
[Cinderella: The Slipper Fits (I tweaked this one a bit, so I could include Sanji)]
Nami was the first to try on the slipper. Perona watched eagerly as her daughter tried to fit her foot into the shoe Duke Luffy held out for her. But the glass slipper was much too big for her dainty foot. She didn’t seem terribly disappointed.
“I’m perfectly happy marrying her anyway,” assured Prince Sanji, who found the girl breathtakingly beautiful.
The duke shook his head. “Not happening. You promised to marry the one the slipper fits.”
Robin tried next, but didn’t have any better luck than her sister.
“Really, I’m starting to care less and less about this slipper thing,” Prince Sanji said. “I wouldn’t lose any sleep if I married one of these visions of loveliness-”
“Sorry, but we’ll have to move on,” interjected the duke, who valued things like promises, much to the prince’s dismay. “Unless there’s anyone else-”
“No!” Perona exclaimed, a little too loudly and quickly to be sincere. “There’s no one else here!”
“Oh, okay.” Duke Luffy nodded, and then pointed to the top of the staircase. “Then who’s that?”
Everyone looked to where the duke’s finger was pointing, saw the man coming down the stairs, and felt that Something Important was about to happen.
“That?” Perona gritted her teeth. “That’s just Zoro, my stepson. I’m certain he isn’t the one you’re looking for.” She desperately hoped, despite knowing better, that this would be true. For no apparent reason other than being an unnecessarily wicked stepmother.
“I sure hope not,” muttered Sanji, taking in the man’s dirty and brutish appearance. Duke Luffy laughed a little and patted him on the shoulder, and Sanji felt just a bit of relief, thinking that the duke had understood and had no intention of asking the man to try on the-
“So Zoro, wanna try on the slipper?”
Goddammit.
Zoro raised, lowered one shoulder indifferently. “Nah, not really interested.”
“See? He’s not interested, so-” Sanji stopped, suddenly offended. “Wait, what do you mean ‘not interested’?!”
The duke laughed again; this was getting very interesting. He started to approach Zoro with the slipper, but Perona-being all wicked and everything-tripped him and he fell, losing his hold on the slipper. It fell to the floor and broke into several pieces. The duke looked at the shards of glass in dismay, the prince and wicked stepmother in great relief…until Zoro sighed, sounding a little put out.
“Here,” he said, pulling out the matching glass slipper and offering it to them. “You can use this one instead.”
It was no surprise to anyone that it was a perfect fit. Prince Sanji resolved to never make stupid promises again.
[Hercules: Into the River Styx]
“Horo-horo-horo!” Perona’s laugh echoed throughout the Underworld as she smiled in a wickedly triumphant at Zoro. “You’re too late, hero! I admit, Sanji’s soul is a consolation prize, but it’s a rather nice one, don’t you think?”
Zoro looked down into the River Styx, eyes searching the greenish glowing pool of souls until he saw Sanji’s lifeless figure among them. He kneeled down and reached inside, hissed as he recoiled and saw that his hands had momentarily morphed into those of an old man.
“No touchies!” Perona warned belatedly (although, really, who would think it was a good idea to put their hands in the river of death?).
Zoro stood slowly, watching with a sinking heart as Sanji floated farther away from him. A determined frown settled on his features as he turned to face the goddess of the Underworld. “Take me in his place.”
“You?” The goddess looked thoughtful. “Hm. The precious son of my rival trapped for an eternity… I can see the appeal…”
“Is it a deal or not?”
“Well…” Zoro’s eyes narrowed in impatience, and she held up her hands and nodded. “All right, all right, it’s a deal! You get him out and he can go. You stay.” A grin spread across her face as Zoro turned and jumped into the river without a moment’s hesitation. She stepped a little closer to the edge and called after him, “Of course, you’ll be dead before you can reach him. Hope that’s okay! Horo-horo-horo!”
Zoro found his body aging rapidly as he swam through the river of souls. He would find, of course, that he wouldn’t die, for his selfless heroic act had earned him godhood and thus, immortality. This might’ve been a problem for Perona, but as it turned out, it wouldn’t too much matter, at least not for a while. She watched with utter disbelief as Zoro swam in the opposite direction of his love’s soul.
“Some hero,” she muttered.
[Beauty and the Beast: The Ballroom Dance (Tweaked this one, too, for dialogue purposes)]
Fur washed and shampooed and combed, Zoro stood in the doorway, dressed in princely garb he hadn’t worn in years. He straightened up and inhaled, exhaled deeply as the door across from him opened slowly to reveal Sanji, dressed in…an elegant, golden gown. They walked down the steps and approached each other, Zoro struggling to keep from laughing out loud.
“You look…”
“Ridiculous?” Sanji supplied, looking irritable. “That shitty wardrobe in my room only has clothes for women. We should fix that if I’m supposed to stay here forever…”
Forever. The word sent Zoro’s previously cynical heart fluttering, despite Sanji saying it like it was some sort of disease. The enchanted, afro-sporting tea pot cleared his throat and began singing a heartfelt rendition of “The Thong Song”; he received sharp, disapproving looks from the long-nosed clock and the funky sunglasses-wearing candlestick and obligingly stuck to romantic standards for the rest of the evening.
“You, uh, wanna dance?”
Sanji looked skeptical of the beast’s dancing skills, but graciously chose not to voice these doubts. “I think we’re supposed to eat dinner first.”
“Do we have to?”
Sanji shrugged his bare shoulders. “Nah, no one really notices that part. It’s all about the dancing.”
“Right.” Zoro nodded. “You better be good at it, then.”
“…”
Zoro offered his arm and, after a moment, Sanji took it and allowed himself to be led to the ballroom. Brooke’s serenading followed them and the enchanted objects watched, eyes alight with hope, as the pair faced one another. They knew that this was It. The Moment They Would Fall In Love.
Zoro and Sanji exchanged meaningful gazes, unspoken words passing between them and then they…proceeded to do the Soulja Boy dance.
The clock and the candlestick looked at each other a bit wearily, although the candlestick secretly wished he could do the dance, too.
[Aladdin: A Whole New World]
“Prince Sanji?” Zoro stepped off the magic carpet and onto the palace balcony. He cleared his throat, called out again, “Prince Sanji?”
“Kindly fuck off,” came the reply from behind the curtain, along with a warning growl from the prince’s three-legged, tall hat-wearing tiger.
Zoro frowned and decided to try a different approach. “Oi, Prince Dart-brow!”
A long moment of silence, and then the curtain rustled, and Prince Sanji stepped out, aforementioned unusual eyebrow arched. “You’re new at this, huh?”
“Wooing royalty? Yeah.” He rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Climbing onto balconies? Not so much. I climb all over the stalls in the marketplace every day-”
“You-what?” Prince Sanji asked, Recognition flashing in his eyes.
“Er-” Zoro glanced at the bee with the tiny straw hat that was buzzing around his head. “Well, you know, we each have our little quirks…”
“Go on,” buzzed the genie. “Give him a compliment! Tell him he’s got nice long legs!”
Like he was going to say something stupid like that. “Prince Sanji, you’re very-”
“Meaty!” suggested the genie.
“-meaty.”
“Meaty?!”
“Sorry,” laughed the genie. “I’m hungry.”
Zoro scowled and swatted the genie-bee away. “No, no, I didn’t mean that. Look, just-forget that. I-Do you wanna take a ride on my magic carpet?”
“That’s completely inappropriate.”
“What? No, not that.” He whistled over his shoulder and the carpet flew up and into view. “This.”
“Oh, good.” The prince crossed his arms over his chest, the corner of his mouth quirking upward slightly in wonder. None of his other suitors were ever this strange. “Where would we go?”
“I don’t know,” Zoro said, getting onto the carpet. “Would it matter? We could get out of here. See the world.”
“I won’t fall off and die, will I?”
“Of course not.” Zoro offered his hand. “Don’t you trust me?”
The Recognition was back, triggered by the words, by the proffered hand. It made him smile as he placed his hand in the other man’s. “Yes.”
“You do? That’s kind of silly of you.”
“…” The prince was seconds way from taking his hand back before Zoro smirked, pulled him onto the carpet.
A moment later, they were off. Flying over the palace walls, through the empty marketplace, up into the clouds, and…right back to the palace balcony.
“Hm.” Zoro narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I guess the world is smaller than I thought.”
Sanji stared him, visible eye wide in WTF-ness.
“Or maybe the palace moved.”
“…” Prince Sanji found himself starting to smile again, despite himself. “You’re an idiot.” Luckily, he seemed to have a thing for idiots. “Why don’t you let me steer?”
“Sure.”
[and they lived happily ever after]
Fandom: One Piece/Disney crossover
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Other: Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Franky, Zeff, Zoro’s Sensei, Nami, Robin, Perona, Brooke, Zeff
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: One Piece, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Hercules, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and their characters do not belong to me.
A/NI should be working on my X-Mas fic. But thanks to Pillow, these thoughts wouldn’t leave my mind. So, here you go. At some point in time, if I receive enough sacrifices, I may extend these to tell the whole stories.
[Sleeping Beauty: The Kiss]
As he followed the three fairies up the winding staircase, Prince Sanji was careful to step over and around the limp, sleeping, and occasionally snoring bodies that littered the palace floor. “This reminds me of a party I went to once…”
“Prince Zoro’s chamber is just a little further,” said the Long-Nosed Fairy, who was quite relieved that this ordeal would soon be over.
“And once we get there, you’ll wake him and break the spell with True Love’s Kiss,” said the Reindeer Fairy, who thought it was all very nice and romantic.
“And then you’ll cook us a big feast,” said the Straw Hat Fairy, who was just hungry.
“Oi, Luffy,” hissed the first fairy, “there’s no big feast in this story.”
“Well, there should be.”
Sanji ignored them. He was focused on the whole saving-the-day thing. Doing heroic shit like that helped to disguise his 2-D generic “Prince Charming” persona, and made him look all cool.
Prince Zoro’s chamber was dark, cold, and heavy with the air of a witch’s curse. The three fairies hung back, hovering by the door and watching as Sanji slowly approached the bed. He looked down at the man lying there, the same mystery man he’d sung and danced in the woods with (without getting any action, dammit…) and felt his chest tighten in appreciation for this moment. This wasn’t simply Saving the Day. This was Breaking the Spell. This was Awakening True Love. This was Happily Ever After. This wasn’t something to take lightly…really, it should set the tone for the rest of their lives together.
So instead of kissing the sleeping prince awake, he kicked him in the face.
“OW!” Zoro sprang up from the bed, hand flying to his bloody nose. “What the fuck-”
The three fairies stared, mouths agape. “That’s not what you were supposed to do!”
Sanji shrugged, smirked at them over his shoulder. “It worked, didn’t it?”
[Snow White: The Other Kiss]
It was a very sad day in the forest. Even the birds and chipmunks and other such cute critters were grieving alongside the seven dwarves, who stood gazing mournfully at the glass coffin. The depressing sight was enough to make Prince Zoro, who simply happened to be conveniently riding by, stop his horse and inspect further, even though no one invited him to do so. As he neared the coffin, he recognized the man inside as the handsome prince he’d spied on-er, met some time ago.
“What happened to him?” He asked the closest dwarf, Nosey.
Nosey sniffled and wiped at his very prominent proboscis. “He ate an apple-”
“Ah. I knew those things were bad for you.”
“He ate an apple,” Nosey continued loudly, “that was poisoned by his wicked stepmother.”
“Oh.” Zoro scratched at the back of his neck. “That sucks.” After a moment of respectful silence, he picked up the reins of his horse. “Well, see ya.”
“Wait! D-Don’t you want to kiss him?”
Zoro looked down at Nosey, brow furrowed. “Uh, no. Why would I wanna kiss a dead guy?”
“B-Because,” the dwarf explained, mildly panicked, “that’s how the story goes.”
“Yeah, well, that story’s kinda sick.”
“JUST KISS HIM!”
“Tch. You kiss him. I’m outta here.”
And so the handsome prince remained in the glass coffin for many years, with a murderous expression on his face.
[Pocahontas: The Rescue]
It was dawn: time for the execution. Chief Franky’s men brought Sanji-hands tied behind his back and rope looped around his neck-to the cliff, where the big, broad-shouldered man himself was waiting with a club. Grunting as he was thrown to the hard ground, Sanji’s visible eye looked up at the chief with anger and frustration.
Below them, Governor Zeff and his men emerged through the trees. Sanji felt fear rising inside of him like the sun; if the two worlds collided, fought, like this, it would be a bloodbath, and all over a misunderstanding… Unless, of course, a certain brave, strong, bronzed-skinned prince came to his aid. Not like he was waiting for that. He just figured that might be how the story goes. Happy endings and all that.
Everyone else seemed to have the same idea. King Zeff’s men had their guns cocked and aimed, Chief Franky’s club was lifted and he seemed prepared to strike Sanji on the head at any moment. But no guns were firing and the club wasn’t being lowered. Everyone was still. Everyone was waiting.
And nothing was happening.
Chief Franky glanced over his shoulder at his men. “Isn’t Zoro supposed to be stopping me right about now?”
The men shrugged. “Should we wait a little longer?”
“For what it’s worth,” said Sanji, sounding extremely annoyed at his supposed true love, “I think we should.”
“I think we’ve waited all we can,” sighed Chief Franky, and he tightened his grip on the club. “Sorry, bro.”
Sanji groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, fuck…”
Meanwhile, Zoro slept soundly behind the curtain of Sensei Willow’s leaves, as the tree’s face frowned down at him in exasperation.
[Cinderella: The Slipper Fits (I tweaked this one a bit, so I could include Sanji)]
Nami was the first to try on the slipper. Perona watched eagerly as her daughter tried to fit her foot into the shoe Duke Luffy held out for her. But the glass slipper was much too big for her dainty foot. She didn’t seem terribly disappointed.
“I’m perfectly happy marrying her anyway,” assured Prince Sanji, who found the girl breathtakingly beautiful.
The duke shook his head. “Not happening. You promised to marry the one the slipper fits.”
Robin tried next, but didn’t have any better luck than her sister.
“Really, I’m starting to care less and less about this slipper thing,” Prince Sanji said. “I wouldn’t lose any sleep if I married one of these visions of loveliness-”
“Sorry, but we’ll have to move on,” interjected the duke, who valued things like promises, much to the prince’s dismay. “Unless there’s anyone else-”
“No!” Perona exclaimed, a little too loudly and quickly to be sincere. “There’s no one else here!”
“Oh, okay.” Duke Luffy nodded, and then pointed to the top of the staircase. “Then who’s that?”
Everyone looked to where the duke’s finger was pointing, saw the man coming down the stairs, and felt that Something Important was about to happen.
“That?” Perona gritted her teeth. “That’s just Zoro, my stepson. I’m certain he isn’t the one you’re looking for.” She desperately hoped, despite knowing better, that this would be true. For no apparent reason other than being an unnecessarily wicked stepmother.
“I sure hope not,” muttered Sanji, taking in the man’s dirty and brutish appearance. Duke Luffy laughed a little and patted him on the shoulder, and Sanji felt just a bit of relief, thinking that the duke had understood and had no intention of asking the man to try on the-
“So Zoro, wanna try on the slipper?”
Goddammit.
Zoro raised, lowered one shoulder indifferently. “Nah, not really interested.”
“See? He’s not interested, so-” Sanji stopped, suddenly offended. “Wait, what do you mean ‘not interested’?!”
The duke laughed again; this was getting very interesting. He started to approach Zoro with the slipper, but Perona-being all wicked and everything-tripped him and he fell, losing his hold on the slipper. It fell to the floor and broke into several pieces. The duke looked at the shards of glass in dismay, the prince and wicked stepmother in great relief…until Zoro sighed, sounding a little put out.
“Here,” he said, pulling out the matching glass slipper and offering it to them. “You can use this one instead.”
It was no surprise to anyone that it was a perfect fit. Prince Sanji resolved to never make stupid promises again.
[Hercules: Into the River Styx]
“Horo-horo-horo!” Perona’s laugh echoed throughout the Underworld as she smiled in a wickedly triumphant at Zoro. “You’re too late, hero! I admit, Sanji’s soul is a consolation prize, but it’s a rather nice one, don’t you think?”
Zoro looked down into the River Styx, eyes searching the greenish glowing pool of souls until he saw Sanji’s lifeless figure among them. He kneeled down and reached inside, hissed as he recoiled and saw that his hands had momentarily morphed into those of an old man.
“No touchies!” Perona warned belatedly (although, really, who would think it was a good idea to put their hands in the river of death?).
Zoro stood slowly, watching with a sinking heart as Sanji floated farther away from him. A determined frown settled on his features as he turned to face the goddess of the Underworld. “Take me in his place.”
“You?” The goddess looked thoughtful. “Hm. The precious son of my rival trapped for an eternity… I can see the appeal…”
“Is it a deal or not?”
“Well…” Zoro’s eyes narrowed in impatience, and she held up her hands and nodded. “All right, all right, it’s a deal! You get him out and he can go. You stay.” A grin spread across her face as Zoro turned and jumped into the river without a moment’s hesitation. She stepped a little closer to the edge and called after him, “Of course, you’ll be dead before you can reach him. Hope that’s okay! Horo-horo-horo!”
Zoro found his body aging rapidly as he swam through the river of souls. He would find, of course, that he wouldn’t die, for his selfless heroic act had earned him godhood and thus, immortality. This might’ve been a problem for Perona, but as it turned out, it wouldn’t too much matter, at least not for a while. She watched with utter disbelief as Zoro swam in the opposite direction of his love’s soul.
“Some hero,” she muttered.
[Beauty and the Beast: The Ballroom Dance (Tweaked this one, too, for dialogue purposes)]
Fur washed and shampooed and combed, Zoro stood in the doorway, dressed in princely garb he hadn’t worn in years. He straightened up and inhaled, exhaled deeply as the door across from him opened slowly to reveal Sanji, dressed in…an elegant, golden gown. They walked down the steps and approached each other, Zoro struggling to keep from laughing out loud.
“You look…”
“Ridiculous?” Sanji supplied, looking irritable. “That shitty wardrobe in my room only has clothes for women. We should fix that if I’m supposed to stay here forever…”
Forever. The word sent Zoro’s previously cynical heart fluttering, despite Sanji saying it like it was some sort of disease. The enchanted, afro-sporting tea pot cleared his throat and began singing a heartfelt rendition of “The Thong Song”; he received sharp, disapproving looks from the long-nosed clock and the funky sunglasses-wearing candlestick and obligingly stuck to romantic standards for the rest of the evening.
“You, uh, wanna dance?”
Sanji looked skeptical of the beast’s dancing skills, but graciously chose not to voice these doubts. “I think we’re supposed to eat dinner first.”
“Do we have to?”
Sanji shrugged his bare shoulders. “Nah, no one really notices that part. It’s all about the dancing.”
“Right.” Zoro nodded. “You better be good at it, then.”
“…”
Zoro offered his arm and, after a moment, Sanji took it and allowed himself to be led to the ballroom. Brooke’s serenading followed them and the enchanted objects watched, eyes alight with hope, as the pair faced one another. They knew that this was It. The Moment They Would Fall In Love.
Zoro and Sanji exchanged meaningful gazes, unspoken words passing between them and then they…proceeded to do the Soulja Boy dance.
The clock and the candlestick looked at each other a bit wearily, although the candlestick secretly wished he could do the dance, too.
[Aladdin: A Whole New World]
“Prince Sanji?” Zoro stepped off the magic carpet and onto the palace balcony. He cleared his throat, called out again, “Prince Sanji?”
“Kindly fuck off,” came the reply from behind the curtain, along with a warning growl from the prince’s three-legged, tall hat-wearing tiger.
Zoro frowned and decided to try a different approach. “Oi, Prince Dart-brow!”
A long moment of silence, and then the curtain rustled, and Prince Sanji stepped out, aforementioned unusual eyebrow arched. “You’re new at this, huh?”
“Wooing royalty? Yeah.” He rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Climbing onto balconies? Not so much. I climb all over the stalls in the marketplace every day-”
“You-what?” Prince Sanji asked, Recognition flashing in his eyes.
“Er-” Zoro glanced at the bee with the tiny straw hat that was buzzing around his head. “Well, you know, we each have our little quirks…”
“Go on,” buzzed the genie. “Give him a compliment! Tell him he’s got nice long legs!”
Like he was going to say something stupid like that. “Prince Sanji, you’re very-”
“Meaty!” suggested the genie.
“-meaty.”
“Meaty?!”
“Sorry,” laughed the genie. “I’m hungry.”
Zoro scowled and swatted the genie-bee away. “No, no, I didn’t mean that. Look, just-forget that. I-Do you wanna take a ride on my magic carpet?”
“That’s completely inappropriate.”
“What? No, not that.” He whistled over his shoulder and the carpet flew up and into view. “This.”
“Oh, good.” The prince crossed his arms over his chest, the corner of his mouth quirking upward slightly in wonder. None of his other suitors were ever this strange. “Where would we go?”
“I don’t know,” Zoro said, getting onto the carpet. “Would it matter? We could get out of here. See the world.”
“I won’t fall off and die, will I?”
“Of course not.” Zoro offered his hand. “Don’t you trust me?”
The Recognition was back, triggered by the words, by the proffered hand. It made him smile as he placed his hand in the other man’s. “Yes.”
“You do? That’s kind of silly of you.”
“…” The prince was seconds way from taking his hand back before Zoro smirked, pulled him onto the carpet.
A moment later, they were off. Flying over the palace walls, through the empty marketplace, up into the clouds, and…right back to the palace balcony.
“Hm.” Zoro narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I guess the world is smaller than I thought.”
Sanji stared him, visible eye wide in WTF-ness.
“Or maybe the palace moved.”
“…” Prince Sanji found himself starting to smile again, despite himself. “You’re an idiot.” Luckily, he seemed to have a thing for idiots. “Why don’t you let me steer?”
“Sure.”
[and they lived happily ever after]