Song Meme: Part Six [Star Trek: The Original Series, Spock/McCoy]
“Do You Want to Know a Secret?” ~ The Beatles [1:59] [Post-Search for Spock, pre-Voyage Home]
“I think I almost liked it,” Leonard says, grateful that he can blame it on being almost-drunk on Romulan ale. “Having him inside me…”
Jim arches an eyebrow.
“No, not-not him inside me, his-dammit, Jim, you know what I mean.” He sighs and looks down at his drink. “I think I miss it, Jim. It feels like I’ve lost him all over again.”
“He’ll be back to normal soon, Bones,” Jim promises. “And then you can tell him all this.”
He won’t tell him, both of them know. But having him back will be worth it, anyway.
“Think of Me” ~ The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack [3:41] [Post-Search for Spock, pre-Voyage Home]
Spock watches them sometimes, when he’s taking a break from refilling his head with an endless stream of information. He picks them out from afar, slowly remembering each of them, slowly remembering the things they’ve done.
And he doesn’t know why, but he finds that his gaze tends to linger on the doctor.
He also finds that he doesn’t particularly care for not knowing why.
He believes that this isn’t something he can consult the computers about, and he has the sneaking suspicion that if he were to ask his mother, she would get that smile on her face that says everything-“You are half-human, Spock; you’re bound to feel every now and then”-while she remains silent.
He hopes that soon he will remember, that soon he will understand. Understand why, even from a distance, he sees the blueness of the doctor’s eyes, hears the frustration in his voice as he complains about the dusty Vulcan atmosphere.
Until he does, he will have to be content with watching, and thinking, and wondering.
“Keep Yourself Alive” ~ Queen [3:46] [“The Immunity Syndrome”]
“Then employ one of your own superstitions. Wish me luck.”
Something inside of him seized up; his chest tightened; a lump formed in his throat and he couldn’t swallow it. He couldn’t even look Spock in the eye. He couldn’t bear to see…
See what? Disappointment? He mentally shook his head; now wasn’t the time to delude himself into thinking that the Vulcan actually cared-that he could actually care-about him and what he thought and what he wanted and what he wished.
And what he wanted, right now, more than anything, was that Spock made it. That he went inside that creature and he came back alive. He was so worried, already, that he could hardly stand it.
Then maybe, what he wanted really was to go in Spock’s place. And not because of what he could learn, though the thought of that was still something that excited him. No, he wanted to go so he wouldn’t have to worry about Spock at all. Besides, it wasn’t as if the Vulcan would worry about him.
It wasn’t as if the Vulcan loved him.
He managed to breathe properly again when Spock turned and headed for the waiting shuttlecraft. He watched him go until the hangar doors closed and only then could he say it.
“Good luck, Spock.”
“It Feels Like I’m in Love” ~ Kelly Marie [3:12]
“If you want my opinion, Spock, I think you’ve fallen in love.”
It was completely illogical. But more than that, it was completely undeniable. Spock was feeling. He was feeling for Dr. McCoy.
He hadn’t known it was coming. He hadn’t been able to stop it. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to. But they were here now-the emotions-and there was nothing he could do about them.
Arousal; when they touched, when they stood so close he could feel the heat of the man’s body.
Jealousy; when he touched someone else, when he spoke of his ex-wife and past lovers.
Sadness; when they parted ways at the end of the day.
And Happiness; when he knew he would see him again tomorrow.
“No offense, Captain, but I think I don’t care for your opinion.”
Annoyance; when Jim grinned at him, and they both knew he was right.
“You Are My Sunshine” ~ O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack [4:28] [“Operation: Annihilate!”]
Spock wasn’t going to miss much, really.
“Oh, don’t give me that,” McCoy snapped somewhere from his left, sitting by his bedside, Spock presumed. “You can’t lie there and seriously tell me that you aren’t going to miss seeing anything.”
“There’s no point in missing anything,” he tried to explain. “I know that I cannot see now; why should I waste time and energy thinking about the way things were? And why should I miss something that I know is still there, even if I can’t see it?”
McCoy sighed in exasperation but remained blessedly silent for several minutes. Until he sighed, “I would miss the sun. Earth’s sunshine. I used to hate when I looked straight into it-hurt like hell-but I’d miss it.”
“Illogical. Why would you miss seeing the sunshine, when you would still feel it upon your face?” He turned his head toward the man at his left. “For example, Doctor, I can hear you, and I can feel you looking at me, so how could I possibly miss you?”
“Spock.” McCoy spoke after a moment, and Spock could hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice. “Did you just compare me to sunshine?”
“You’ve missed my point entirely,” Spock said, arching an eyebrow. “Fascinating.”
“I think I almost liked it,” Leonard says, grateful that he can blame it on being almost-drunk on Romulan ale. “Having him inside me…”
Jim arches an eyebrow.
“No, not-not him inside me, his-dammit, Jim, you know what I mean.” He sighs and looks down at his drink. “I think I miss it, Jim. It feels like I’ve lost him all over again.”
“He’ll be back to normal soon, Bones,” Jim promises. “And then you can tell him all this.”
He won’t tell him, both of them know. But having him back will be worth it, anyway.
“Think of Me” ~ The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack [3:41] [Post-Search for Spock, pre-Voyage Home]
Spock watches them sometimes, when he’s taking a break from refilling his head with an endless stream of information. He picks them out from afar, slowly remembering each of them, slowly remembering the things they’ve done.
And he doesn’t know why, but he finds that his gaze tends to linger on the doctor.
He also finds that he doesn’t particularly care for not knowing why.
He believes that this isn’t something he can consult the computers about, and he has the sneaking suspicion that if he were to ask his mother, she would get that smile on her face that says everything-“You are half-human, Spock; you’re bound to feel every now and then”-while she remains silent.
He hopes that soon he will remember, that soon he will understand. Understand why, even from a distance, he sees the blueness of the doctor’s eyes, hears the frustration in his voice as he complains about the dusty Vulcan atmosphere.
Until he does, he will have to be content with watching, and thinking, and wondering.
“Keep Yourself Alive” ~ Queen [3:46] [“The Immunity Syndrome”]
“Then employ one of your own superstitions. Wish me luck.”
Something inside of him seized up; his chest tightened; a lump formed in his throat and he couldn’t swallow it. He couldn’t even look Spock in the eye. He couldn’t bear to see…
See what? Disappointment? He mentally shook his head; now wasn’t the time to delude himself into thinking that the Vulcan actually cared-that he could actually care-about him and what he thought and what he wanted and what he wished.
And what he wanted, right now, more than anything, was that Spock made it. That he went inside that creature and he came back alive. He was so worried, already, that he could hardly stand it.
Then maybe, what he wanted really was to go in Spock’s place. And not because of what he could learn, though the thought of that was still something that excited him. No, he wanted to go so he wouldn’t have to worry about Spock at all. Besides, it wasn’t as if the Vulcan would worry about him.
It wasn’t as if the Vulcan loved him.
He managed to breathe properly again when Spock turned and headed for the waiting shuttlecraft. He watched him go until the hangar doors closed and only then could he say it.
“Good luck, Spock.”
“It Feels Like I’m in Love” ~ Kelly Marie [3:12]
“If you want my opinion, Spock, I think you’ve fallen in love.”
It was completely illogical. But more than that, it was completely undeniable. Spock was feeling. He was feeling for Dr. McCoy.
He hadn’t known it was coming. He hadn’t been able to stop it. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to. But they were here now-the emotions-and there was nothing he could do about them.
Arousal; when they touched, when they stood so close he could feel the heat of the man’s body.
Jealousy; when he touched someone else, when he spoke of his ex-wife and past lovers.
Sadness; when they parted ways at the end of the day.
And Happiness; when he knew he would see him again tomorrow.
“No offense, Captain, but I think I don’t care for your opinion.”
Annoyance; when Jim grinned at him, and they both knew he was right.
“You Are My Sunshine” ~ O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack [4:28] [“Operation: Annihilate!”]
Spock wasn’t going to miss much, really.
“Oh, don’t give me that,” McCoy snapped somewhere from his left, sitting by his bedside, Spock presumed. “You can’t lie there and seriously tell me that you aren’t going to miss seeing anything.”
“There’s no point in missing anything,” he tried to explain. “I know that I cannot see now; why should I waste time and energy thinking about the way things were? And why should I miss something that I know is still there, even if I can’t see it?”
McCoy sighed in exasperation but remained blessedly silent for several minutes. Until he sighed, “I would miss the sun. Earth’s sunshine. I used to hate when I looked straight into it-hurt like hell-but I’d miss it.”
“Illogical. Why would you miss seeing the sunshine, when you would still feel it upon your face?” He turned his head toward the man at his left. “For example, Doctor, I can hear you, and I can feel you looking at me, so how could I possibly miss you?”
“Spock.” McCoy spoke after a moment, and Spock could hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice. “Did you just compare me to sunshine?”
“You’ve missed my point entirely,” Spock said, arching an eyebrow. “Fascinating.”