Show Me The World Seen From The Stars.
A couple more minutes till Halloween, and I don’t even have a costume---eh.
I don’t really want the candy, I think all I want is just the experience I never fully had---yeah I think that’s it.
Maybe I’ll take Caroline out---I miss hanging out with her.
It really isn’t the same without her. In the house I mean. It just doesn’t have touch anymore.
That’s what I miss.
Yeah---that’s really it.
Friday was a blur---I had the biggest headache, got in an argument, and had no fun.
I better call Oliver, got to explain----I feel god awful just because I feel guilty each time I plan to do something and it becomes some obstacle I can never manage to get through because there are things in my path restraining me from that stupid finish line.
I wonder where the hell my cookie monster went.
I’ve been looking high and low for that guy---last I remembered was I took him in my brother’s room to sleep with, and after that he’s disappeared.
I got that stuffed animal on my birthday two years ago--Jasmin sprayed perfume on it so I could forever smell her. I got the paraphernalia too---slippers, bracelet, backpack…yeah the whole nine yards.
I have an imposter though.
He’s not the same.
I can’t talk to him like I did the other one.
I miss that one----
I miss that one because I used to think I could secretly communicate with this one other person.
Now---there’s nothing.
I’m sleepy.
I’m going to bed---to wake up, run, then get a costume, trick or treat and study--somewhere in there picking up Caroline is involved.
I went on the Metro today.
Went to Montrose.
Walked.
And ate all day.
I feel god awful.