Seventh Dark Hole [Phone]
[Voice;]
It seems everyone is getting ready for a party. A homecoming ball, as you call it. I have never heard of such an occassion, but it doesn't even take omniscience to figure out what you are all going on about. As a host of many parties, I have decided to generously educate you all on proper etiquette during an occasion such as this.. If you do not follow it, that is your choice. Just know you will be turning down advice from an immortal, regularly omniscient, extraterrestrial, charismatic and fathomless being.
And yes I am all of those, so lets not get into questioning how I am not. Do pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable.
First: Learn to ballroom dance. Men and Ladies. You're not going to impress anyone flailing around like a blithering baffoon and it'll be an embarrassment to yourself and, more importantly, everyone else around you. Causing second hand embarassment does not make good manners.
Second: Keep your so-called "sloppy makeouts" out of sight. No one wants to see them. Not even the people without eyes would want to see them.
Third: Wear a suit. Bowties are always in style. If you aren't going to go in style, don't go at all. Again, second hand embarrassment.
Fourth: Know how to ask for a dance, both ladies and men. Don't just grab someone and toss them around the dance floor. "Will you honor me with a dance?" or "Will you give me the pleasure of dancing with you." Just anything that isn't garbage talk.
And finally, directed toward the ladies specifically: Don't waste your time on a man acting improperly. [A rather exaggerated sigh.] Some men really do not know how to act courteous and gentlemanly.
Well, that is the basics of what I have to say. Have fun at your dance on Friday. Know that you really should take my education into thought as you go to this Homecoming. It is not often I give it so publically and graciously, but I am always a most excellent host.
It seems everyone is getting ready for a party. A homecoming ball, as you call it. I have never heard of such an occassion, but it doesn't even take omniscience to figure out what you are all going on about. As a host of many parties, I have decided to generously educate you all on proper etiquette during an occasion such as this.. If you do not follow it, that is your choice. Just know you will be turning down advice from an immortal, regularly omniscient, extraterrestrial, charismatic and fathomless being.
And yes I am all of those, so lets not get into questioning how I am not. Do pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable.
First: Learn to ballroom dance. Men and Ladies. You're not going to impress anyone flailing around like a blithering baffoon and it'll be an embarrassment to yourself and, more importantly, everyone else around you. Causing second hand embarassment does not make good manners.
Second: Keep your so-called "sloppy makeouts" out of sight. No one wants to see them. Not even the people without eyes would want to see them.
Third: Wear a suit. Bowties are always in style. If you aren't going to go in style, don't go at all. Again, second hand embarrassment.
Fourth: Know how to ask for a dance, both ladies and men. Don't just grab someone and toss them around the dance floor. "Will you honor me with a dance?" or "Will you give me the pleasure of dancing with you." Just anything that isn't garbage talk.
And finally, directed toward the ladies specifically: Don't waste your time on a man acting improperly. [A rather exaggerated sigh.] Some men really do not know how to act courteous and gentlemanly.
Well, that is the basics of what I have to say. Have fun at your dance on Friday. Know that you really should take my education into thought as you go to this Homecoming. It is not often I give it so publically and graciously, but I am always a most excellent host.