Saturday 2nd June, mid-afternoon
"Come on, kiddo," House said, scooping an unhappy Emma up from the change table. She was due for a feed and she wasn't holding back on letting him know about that. "Alright, I hear you," he told her, lifting her squirming body to his shoulder while she wailed and sucked furiously on her hand
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And perhaps had they not been in public and Emma hadn't been right next to them, he would have taken a few more liberties with his hands instead of keeping them just on her middle. He knew she wasn't ready for sex in any yet but that didn't mean he couldn't grope and feel all the bits of her body he liked, which was all of it. Pity they were in the park.
"Hmmm," he mused, mildly disappointed the kiss had been interrupted. He turned his head down to Emma. "Give it fifteen years and she'll be begging me to rescue her from her embarrassing mother."
Emma still seemed fine for the moment. He turned back to Cuddy and studied her profile while lifting a hand to her back. He rubbed it and ran it up over the curve of her shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. "Pass me my drink?" he said, nodding in the direction of where he'd left it standing on the grass.
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She really hoped Emma would never feel so embarrassed by her parents that she truly tried to distance herself. Cuddy knew conflict was inevitable--it was practically a rite of passage for any kid. She hoped, though, that their relationship would be strong enough that they'd always enjoy mother-daughter things in between the conflicts.
She handed House his drink, then reached down to rub lightly on Emma's tummy when she fussed again. She was probably getting tired--it had been a big morning for her, too--but she wasn't overly fussy yet. She quieted when Cuddy touched her although she was rubbing her hands on her face like she did sometimes when she was tired.
Cuddy was glad Emma wasn't demanding to be held yet. It was nice to simply sit with House. Physical contact had always been a big part of their relationship. Not just sex--she wasn't even close to in the mood for that yet. But kissing, cuddling, even just sitting together like they were now--those kinds of touches had always been comforting to her. Since Emma's birth, she'd sort of gotten out of the habit of touching.
"We should try to do this every week, especially while the weather's nice," she said. "Not the spa thing but just taking a half day to get out of the house and relax."
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He lifted his head forward again as Cuddy mentioned doing this every week. "What, all three of us?" he asked. He supposed that would probably be a good thing. He sometimes felt like he was getting cabin fever, cooped up in the house. Even if Emma kept them both busy, he got bored and a break in routine would be a relief every once in a while.
"What about just the two of us? Wouldn't mind doing that, too." He reached up a hand and rubbed Cuddy's back. "Get someone to look after Emma while we head out for a while somewhere."
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Hell, being cooped up was hard on her, too. It was too easy to get bogged down in the day to day chores of caring for a baby. She didn't want to lose sight of the fact that Emma was far more than just an eating and pooping machine. She truly was a joy to Cuddy and getting out of the house and relaxing was a good way to keep that foremost in her mind.
She arched her back slightly as he rubbed it. She felt pretty good after her massage at the spa but nothing felt as good as his touch. She was quiet for a moment as she considered his suggestion.
"I guess I could talk to some of the moms in the neighborhood, find out who's a reliable babysitter. Or there's some nurses at the hospital who don't mind picking up a little extra money looking after newborns."
She'd be a nervous wreck leaving Emma with someone else. She couldn't deny that having some alone time for just the two of them would be a good idea, though. She wasn't sure how good company she'd be, especially the first time out but at some point she was going to have to learn to tear herself away from Emma.
"I suppose we could go out for dinner or something."
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He could tell by the hesitation in Cuddy's answer that she wasn't too keen on leaving Emma alone with anyone. She was going to have to overcome that at some point, though. He ran his hand down between her shoulder blades, a thoughtful look on his face at her suggesting dinner.
"Dinner," he agreed. "Maybe a movie as well, maybe a night of hitting the bars, cutting loose. A weekend away somewhere at some point."
He knew it would be a long time coming before she'd ever agree to that but again, she was going to have to overcome that at some point. If anything, he was certain the two of them getting away together every now and again would be as beneficial to their relationship as getting away from each other from time to time was. Besides, he'd promised, before he admitted himself to hospital, that he'd make it up to Cuddy, that they'd go away together at some point.
He stopped rubbing her back and went to wrap his arms around her again when Emma piped up with another, fussier noise. House looked down at her and saw her face was screwed up and her hands were rubbing furiously over it. She was getting tired and, from the way she was opening her mouth in search of something to suck, hungry.
"I said at some point," he repeated to Emma's grizzly demands. "Meaning don't worry, our lives have been completely rearranged already to accommodate your needs. What more do you want?" Emma rubbed her fists over her face again before letting out a sound that was nearing towards an angry wail. With a sigh, House scooted back from Cuddy. He didn't like being interrupted at the best of times and whenever Emma interrupted him, he sometimes had to remind himself that her needs came before his, a lesson he found harder to adapt to at times than he thought it would.
"You heard her, Mom. The boss has spoken."
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As far as a weekend away.... That would come but not in the immediate future. She knew she wouldn't be able to leave Emma with anyone--except maybe her parents--for an entire weekend. Not yet. In theory, she loved the idea of getting away with House for a few days but she wasn't ready to leave Emma that long, and she didn't trust anyone to keep her. It would have to wait.
She tried rubbing Emma's tummy when she started to fuss but she'd gone beyond simple comforting. She was tired and, apparently, hungry. "Yeah, I hear her," she told House as he pulled away. She picked Emma up and the moment she cradled her to her chest, Emma started rooting around.
Cuddy looked around the park. She was willing to feed Emma--her breasts were more than willing since it had been a few hours--but she didn't want to end their picnic. She didn't want to have to go sit in the car either. She wasn't entirely comfortable with breast feeding in public but this time, it was the best solution.
She dug through the diaper bag while Emma fussed at the lack of attention. She pulled out a small baby blanket and draped it over her shoulder. Under cover of the blanket, she lifted her shirt and got Emma settled at her breast. The blanket was big enough to hide everything, including Emma, but she still felt somehow exposed.
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Emma's arm flew out, causing her hand to strike against his thigh. He looked down at her, at her face that was angrily contorted as she cried. "Hey," he said. "Don't take it out on me. I'd give you a bite of my lunch if you had any teeth to chew it with."
Of course Emma ignored him and continued fussing about until she was latched onto Cuddy's breast. He watched Cuddy assemble the blanket over both the baby and her chest while he chewed on another bite of his sandwich. Emma was quiet now, save for the hungry gulping and quiet gasping sounds she made with each suck. The only part of her he could see was her little arm poking out just beneath the blanket.
"She's going to roast under there," House remarked. To punctuate his point, he threw a squinted glance up towards the sky, which was obscured by the tree tops. He knew Cuddy was just being discreet but he did have a point - it was pretty warm.
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Modesty wasn't Cuddy's only reason for trying to be discreet about breast feeding. It was a valid reason--just because she liked to wear sexy clothes didn't mean she wanted everything on full display for anyone to see.
What she'd also like to avoid was having some uptight, sexually-repressed, neo-Puritan complaining that she was being indecent. Amazing in this day and age but it did happen. Anyone dumb enough to lodge a complaint would get an earful from Cuddy, of course. She didn't believe there was anything even remotely indecent about breast feeding. She'd prefer not to ruin her afternoon in the park arguing with sanctimonious morons, though.
Emma, of course, was completely oblivious to any questions of decency along with the blanket. However, Cuddy did shift a bit so she was turned more toward House. Then she lifted the blanket enough so that it wasn't lying directly on top of Emma and there was room for air to circulate. "She'll be fine for as long as it takes her to nurse."
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He did get that Cuddy wanted discretion, though breastfeeding was breastfeeding, a far cry from flashing. He bit into his sandwich again and watched as Cuddy shifted towards him. As he chewed, he cocked his head to catch a peek of Emma under the blanket. He saw a tuft of her hair sticking out and her crown but she was otherwise still concealed.
House glanced away, at the other people in the park. They were all engrossed in their own activities, eating food or talking or reading, while kids were playing with each other. He turned back to Cuddy and Emma. Thing was, he was actually enjoying this family time they were having here in the park. He liked watching Emma, too, no matter what she was doing. Who the hell cared if Emma was feeding? He definitely didn't. The only people that mattered in the park was Cuddy, Emma and himself. With that in mind, he reached out and grasped the blanket, and he yanked it off Emma and away from Cuddy.
"Oh, come on," he said to Cuddy's reaction. He tossed the blanket beside him, then motioned to Emma with a show of his hand. "If anyone comes over this way to complain about our kid eating her lunch, they'd have me to deal with."
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She didn't know why House was making an issue of it. Yes, she enjoyed sexy clothing, and he enjoyed her sexy clothing not to mention her breasts. That was a totally different situation, though. And Emma was fine. It wasn't really hot out, not like it would be in July and August. If she thought Emma was in danger of overheating, she would put that concern first over her own modesty.
She let out a surprised yelp when House grabbed the blanket. She immediately pulled her shirt down to cover everything that wasn't hidden by Emma. Truthfully, someone would have to look closely to realize she was going anything more than simply holding her baby. It made her uncomfortable anyway and she found herself hunching her shoulders to hide.
"That's what I'm afraid of. I don't need anyone interfering in our picnic and I don't need you getting into some stupid argument."
Emma gave a kick and Cuddy decided it was time to switch sides. She managed to remove Emma from her breast and pull her shirt down without overtly flashing anyone. She propped Emma on her thigh and began to burp her. "At least give me something to use if she urps up her lunch," she said, nodding at the diaper bag.
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The last thing he wanted was anyone interfering, too, but if anyone did he'd be sure to shut them down before they could even draw in a breath to say a second sentence. He obeyed Cuddy, stretching over to the diaper bag to find a towel. Tugging it out of the bag once he found it, he shook it out and tossed it onto Cuddy's lap.
He couldn't help looking amused at the expression on Emma's face when he turned his eyes back on her. She looked dopey and content, milk dribbling down either sides of her mouth. "Look," he said to Cuddy, nodding to Emma. "What does that face tell you?"
Emma suddenly yawned, throwing her arms out from the sheer effort behind it. One arm hit Cuddy's chest and House caught her other arm, his finger pressed into her hand which she instantly gripped on to. He gave her hand a light shake, then leaned over so his face was close to hers. "That expression means, 'I don't give a crap who sees me eat my lunch'."
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She dabbed the milk away from Emma's mouth. The baby was even more heavier against her hand than usual--fatigue was obviously catching up with Emma. Cuddy hoped she'd stay awake long enough to finish nursing, then she could lie on the blanket between Cuddy and House and take a little nap.
"You forget--she doesn't give a crap who sees her crapping either," Cuddy said dryly. Emma's sudden, uncontrolled movements and House's interacting with her had woken her up a bit. She was obviously trying to focus on House's face, her attention captured by the way he was talking to her. Cuddy held her for a few minutes, allowing them a little time to 'converse.'
"She needs to finish nursing," Cuddy said, settling Emma back in the crook of her arm. "Then the two of you can continue discussing socially appropriate behavior."
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With only a couple of bites left of his sandwich, he set it down on the wrapper it had come in and picked up Cuddy's, which was less than half eaten. "Here," he said, holding it up to her. "Have a bite."
He held it with careful precision while she bit into it, then handed Cuddy her drink before picking up his own. He looked at Emma as he drank. She was nursing, albeit with lethargy. Her sucks appeared sleepy, more for comfort than because she was feeding. House recapped his drink, put it down and reached over to Emma to tickle the back of her neck. She squirmed and roused from the stimulation, and made a few noises as she sucked with more vigour at Cuddy's breast. But then she tapered off as she sank back towards sleepiness.
"Passing out after a good meal," he said with mild amusement, if not fondly. "A kid after my own heart."
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She leaned forward slightly to take a bite of her sandwich. Some of the lettuce spilled out but she managed, barely, to keep it from falling on Emma. The drink was a little easier to manage, which was fortunate because she needed to keep up on her fluids in order to keep Emma up on hers.
She sipped at her drink, watching Emma as her sucking slowly tapered off. She'd suspected Emma would be too tired to nurse fully but she'd gotten a reasonable amount. As a bonus, Cuddy's breasts didn't feel like they were about to explode anymore either.
"Told you she takes after her daddy," Cuddy said dryly. Emma was clearly done nursing so she shifted her up to her shoulder to burp her. The movement barely roused the baby and after a moment, Cuddy laid her on the blanket between her and House. It seemed incredible that Emma could sleep so soundly in the middle of the park with all the activity and sounds around her but she was utterly relaxed in a deep sleep.
Cuddy reached for the rest of her sandwich, nodding at Emma. "Sometimes I envy her--living purely in the moment, completely content as long as she gets food and cuddles."
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"Getting to play with your boobs whenever she wants..." House added after Cuddy wistfully. He was only joking, of course. He threw her a cheeky look that said as much while swallowing his mouthful of food. He washed it down with a gulp of drink and set the bottle aside.
"She's got the right idea, though," he said. Shifting on the blanket, he stretched out on his back alongside Emma and propped his hands under his head. It felt good to lay down, to bask in the warmth of the afternoon with a full stomach and nothing on his agenda other than to relax for the rest of the day.
He drew in a deep breath, taking in the fresh summer air, and exhaled with his eyes closed. "This is the life."
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Granted, he didn't get access to her breasts on demand the way Emma did, but then, he didn't need them the way Emma did. And he wasn't getting any access to them at all these days. He still got to see them, though, and the rest would go back to normal...eventually.
She watched House lie down as she worked at finishing her sandwich. "Enjoy it while you can." Soon enough they'd both be back at work and life would get more hectic. Or maybe, given that it was already a bit overwhelming at times, life would simply become hectic in a different way. In either case, it would probably become more difficult to find entire days where they could forget about everything else and simply spend time together.
She thought it would be a good idea to make time for these kinds of days, though. She knew some of her friends scheduled date nights or family nights. It had always seemed nice but unnecessary to her...until she experienced just how much work it was to be a mom. Now she understood that scheduling couple time or family time could be very necessary in order to keep their relationships from being buried under day to day business.
She finished her sandwich and wiped her hands on Emma's burping towel. After watching Emma and House for a moment, she decided a little rest would be good idea. She lay down on her side on the other side of Emma. She stretched her arm out and rested her hand on House's chest.
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