Saturday 2nd June, mid-afternoon
"Come on, kiddo," House said, scooping an unhappy Emma up from the change table. She was due for a feed and she wasn't holding back on letting him know about that. "Alright, I hear you," he told her, lifting her squirming body to his shoulder while she wailed and sucked furiously on her hand
( Read more... )
He couldn't help a small smile at her nudge and as she grabbed his hand, glad Cuddy seemed a lot more relaxed and calmer than she'd been for a while. Turned out he really had been right about her needing some relaxation time. Even the way she was holding herself was more relaxed than he could remember seeing in a long time. As they neared the spot Cuddy chose to settle, he dropped his hand from hers and reached up to give her right shoulder a quick, affectionate squeeze. He then turned down to Emma while Cuddy tended to the bag.
Emma's head was turned to the side, her cheek to his chest, and she was peering towards the direction of a few teenagers kicking a soccer ball around a little distance away. He gave her bottom a pat and looked over at Cuddy. He nodded and turned to her, letting Cuddy cradle Emma's body securely between them while he extracted himself from the sling straps. Once Emma was in Cuddy's arms, he gave his shoulders a quick roll to unhinge the slight knots carrying her weight around on him had caused.
"Good lord, you're already getting heavy," he complained to Emma. He lifted a hand to one shoulder and rolled it again while quickly massaging it. It was more likely he was in dire need of a massage of his own because he knew he was tight and tense. Letting his shoulder go, he dropped down onto the blanket, tossing his cane onto the grass, and pulled the deli bag to him. He unpacked it, setting out a couple of sandwiches wrapped in foil and paper, and a couple of tubs of salad. Along with a couple of plastic forks, he also laid out two bottles of Snapple, diet lemon tea for Cuddy and cranberry raspberry for himself.
House scrunched the bag up and stuffed it inside the diaper bag for now. Emma was making a few noises while being tugged out of the sling and House looked down at her as she was laid out on the rug. Immediately, she stretched out and kicked her legs. He reached over and snagged her left foot with his fingers, and he gave it a shake. "You're feeling a bit cramped? How do you think your old man feels, lugging all your body weight around with me? It's like carrying a sack of potatoes."
Reply
"Now you know how I feel," she told House as he worked the strain out of his shoulders. "Try lugging that around in your belly for a couple months."
She sat down next to him and reached for her drink. For a few minutes she simply watched Emma stretching and looking around. The baby hadn't been outside much--usually just for quick trips to the store--and the park was full of new experiences. There were the sounds of the other people in the park, the occasional dog barking, the light breeze wafting over her tiny body. Emma looked in House's direction when he talked to her but otherwise, her eyes roamed as if trying to take it all in.
She took a long drink of her tea and sighed. "I can't remember the last time we had a nice, relaxing Saturday." Between the pregnancy and House's problems, it really had been a long time since they'd just taken a day to relax and do whatever they wanted to do.
She threw him a wry grin as she thought about House having to deal with Emma on his own all morning. "Although, I suppose my morning was more relaxing than yours."
Reply
Emma kicked and flexed her foot in his grasp, letting out a content gurgle while her arms flailed still without much coordination. With the tip of his thumb, he lightly tickled the underside of her foot, which she jerked away from in reflex, and he glanced up at Cuddy as she spoke. He couldn't remember the last time they'd had a relaxing Saturday, either. Before Emma already seemed like a lifetime ago, even though it was only a few weeks ago. Life before Emma almost seemed like it never existed in a way because his life had been so consumed with her since she was born.
Pulling away from Emma, he sat up straight and reached for his Snapple. He shrugged as he popped the lid undone. He refused to let Cuddy know he'd gotten frazzled. "Like I said, piece of cake." He took a sip. "She ate, she played, she pooped, she napped and so did I."
Though he had felt out of his league while alone with Emma, he had managed to cope. And still being untrusting of Cuddy's assessment of his parenting, he didn't want to give her a reason to find fault. He also didn't want to give her a reason to find weakness in him, that he couldn't cope and wasn't getting better. As far as he was concerned, he'd made a lot of progress since coming out of hospital, and he was especially sensitive towards any criticism that seemed to suggest the contrary.
Recapping his drink, he put it down on the grass and reached for his sandwich. "We worked together like a team this morning, didn't we?" he said to Emma, looking down at his lunch while unwrapping it. "Dirty handprints on the wall, muddy footprints throughout the house, furniture upturned from playing indoor football, puked in the pot plants..."
Reply
"Right," she said dryly as she unwrapped her sandwich. "Since Emma isn't mobile yet, I'll know exactly who to blame for the destruction. Next year she'll on her feet and into everything and then you might be able to get away with blaming her...but don't count on it."
She was hungry so she concentrated on eating, leaning over occasionally to talk to Emma or rub her tummy, anything to try and engage her attention. Emma seemed fairly content for the moment to simply kick and stretch, occasionally reacting to some of the louder noises around her.
Cuddy was fairly content as well to simply sit and eat her lunch. She'd deliberately not made any other plans for the day so she could enjoy their little outing for as long as they felt like it. It really had been a long time since they'd been able to do anything like this.
"Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day?" she asked House. "I mean, I got the morning off so if you wanted to go do something for yourself...."
Reply
Emma letting out a whooping sound distracted him for a moment. He looked down at her as he drew a knee up to his chest and propped his elbow on his knee. He was honestly still fascinated with her, even a few weeks after her birth. He thought the fascination would wear off but no. He often found himself watching her, just staring absorbed in her doing little more than lying on the floor and kicking, or sometimes when she was feeding from Cuddy, or at times when he had her in his arms.
It felt like eons ago since she was born. In some ways, he'd become accustomed to her now being a part of his routine that he didn't think much about it. But he hadn't become so accustomed that he didn't have what seemed to him like out of body moments, where he was struck with the persistent thought that he was a father.
His eyes darted back up to Cuddy at her question, pulled out of his thoughts, and he shook his head while angling his sandwich to his mouth for another bite. "Nope. Nothing planned. You both got me to yourselves for the rest of the day." He paused to chew and swallow part of his mouthful. "Aren't you both lucky ladies."
Reply
She looked down, smiling, when Emma made noise. She still wished she knew what was going on in her little mind. Objectively, Cuddy knew most of Emma's behavior was purely reflexive at this point in her development. She reacted to stimuli without any real thought. That didn't stop Cuddy from thinking there were thoughts going on and wanting to understand them.
"We're probably the luckiest ladies in the park." She was teasing him but she was also serious. Despite some rough moments, House had been doing his best to be a partner to her and a father to Emma. She might have complaints about some of the things House did but she had no complaints about the effort he'd made to be part of this family.
"Of course, I could argue that you're the lucky one," she said, still with a light teasing tone to her voice. "After all, you get to have lunch with the most beautiful little girl in the world, not to mention her red-hot mama." She let a soft snort of amusement as she took a bite of her sandwich. She didn't exactly feel 'red hot' but she was at least feeling good enough to joke about it.
Reply
His look turned thoughtful at Cuddy's next point. He had to glance down at Emma, unable to resist against Cuddy saying she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Though his expression remained impassive, or so he thought, his heart clenched with pride. Cuddy was right. Emma was the most beautiful girl in the world. Immediately, he wanted to roll his eyes at himself. Sappiness had never been something he succumbed to... most of the time.
Luckily, Cuddy came to his rescue. He raised his eyes back to her and chose that moment to leer. "You mean MILF," he replied. He waggled his brows at her, took another swig of his drink, set it down and then abandoned his lunch for the time being and began scooting his way around to Cuddy. He shuffled in behind her, stretching his long legs out alongside hers and pressing up against her back.
Though he wasn't one for much PDA, the relaxed atmosphere of the park and the way everyone around them was occupied with their own thing made it feel that he and Cuddy were in a way on their own. He was feeling pretty relaxed himself; relaxed and playful. He and Cuddy never had much time for affection these days. He moved his arms around her middle at the same time that he pressed a nibbling kiss to the spot just behind her ear. "Red-hot mama," he agreed in a low murmur. "Mom I'd like to f--"
Reply
She knew better than to draw attention to it, though. He'd just get embarrassed or deny it. Even with her, he still had a hard time letting his softer side show. She could deal with it; she'd certainly had experience with his emotional repression. She didn't want him to do it with Emma, though. She wanted him to get used to the idea that not only was it okay to be a softy with his daughter, it was actually preferable.
She watched him as he scooted around to her back, somewhat leery of what he had in mind. When he wrapped his arms around her, though, she smiled and relaxed back against him. Right up until she had to reach back and cover his mouth before he could finish his statement.
"Behave," she told him. She turned her head and leaned back so she could kiss him. That was a far better way for him to occupy his mouth than announcing to anyone who might be listening that he thought she was a MILF.
Emma made a low, fussy noise and Cuddy ended the kiss with a little nip at his lower lip. "See--your daughter agrees. She says you should behave and not embarrass her mother."
Reply
And perhaps had they not been in public and Emma hadn't been right next to them, he would have taken a few more liberties with his hands instead of keeping them just on her middle. He knew she wasn't ready for sex in any yet but that didn't mean he couldn't grope and feel all the bits of her body he liked, which was all of it. Pity they were in the park.
"Hmmm," he mused, mildly disappointed the kiss had been interrupted. He turned his head down to Emma. "Give it fifteen years and she'll be begging me to rescue her from her embarrassing mother."
Emma still seemed fine for the moment. He turned back to Cuddy and studied her profile while lifting a hand to her back. He rubbed it and ran it up over the curve of her shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. "Pass me my drink?" he said, nodding in the direction of where he'd left it standing on the grass.
Reply
She really hoped Emma would never feel so embarrassed by her parents that she truly tried to distance herself. Cuddy knew conflict was inevitable--it was practically a rite of passage for any kid. She hoped, though, that their relationship would be strong enough that they'd always enjoy mother-daughter things in between the conflicts.
She handed House his drink, then reached down to rub lightly on Emma's tummy when she fussed again. She was probably getting tired--it had been a big morning for her, too--but she wasn't overly fussy yet. She quieted when Cuddy touched her although she was rubbing her hands on her face like she did sometimes when she was tired.
Cuddy was glad Emma wasn't demanding to be held yet. It was nice to simply sit with House. Physical contact had always been a big part of their relationship. Not just sex--she wasn't even close to in the mood for that yet. But kissing, cuddling, even just sitting together like they were now--those kinds of touches had always been comforting to her. Since Emma's birth, she'd sort of gotten out of the habit of touching.
"We should try to do this every week, especially while the weather's nice," she said. "Not the spa thing but just taking a half day to get out of the house and relax."
Reply
He lifted his head forward again as Cuddy mentioned doing this every week. "What, all three of us?" he asked. He supposed that would probably be a good thing. He sometimes felt like he was getting cabin fever, cooped up in the house. Even if Emma kept them both busy, he got bored and a break in routine would be a relief every once in a while.
"What about just the two of us? Wouldn't mind doing that, too." He reached up a hand and rubbed Cuddy's back. "Get someone to look after Emma while we head out for a while somewhere."
Reply
Hell, being cooped up was hard on her, too. It was too easy to get bogged down in the day to day chores of caring for a baby. She didn't want to lose sight of the fact that Emma was far more than just an eating and pooping machine. She truly was a joy to Cuddy and getting out of the house and relaxing was a good way to keep that foremost in her mind.
She arched her back slightly as he rubbed it. She felt pretty good after her massage at the spa but nothing felt as good as his touch. She was quiet for a moment as she considered his suggestion.
"I guess I could talk to some of the moms in the neighborhood, find out who's a reliable babysitter. Or there's some nurses at the hospital who don't mind picking up a little extra money looking after newborns."
She'd be a nervous wreck leaving Emma with someone else. She couldn't deny that having some alone time for just the two of them would be a good idea, though. She wasn't sure how good company she'd be, especially the first time out but at some point she was going to have to learn to tear herself away from Emma.
"I suppose we could go out for dinner or something."
Reply
He could tell by the hesitation in Cuddy's answer that she wasn't too keen on leaving Emma alone with anyone. She was going to have to overcome that at some point, though. He ran his hand down between her shoulder blades, a thoughtful look on his face at her suggesting dinner.
"Dinner," he agreed. "Maybe a movie as well, maybe a night of hitting the bars, cutting loose. A weekend away somewhere at some point."
He knew it would be a long time coming before she'd ever agree to that but again, she was going to have to overcome that at some point. If anything, he was certain the two of them getting away together every now and again would be as beneficial to their relationship as getting away from each other from time to time was. Besides, he'd promised, before he admitted himself to hospital, that he'd make it up to Cuddy, that they'd go away together at some point.
He stopped rubbing her back and went to wrap his arms around her again when Emma piped up with another, fussier noise. House looked down at her and saw her face was screwed up and her hands were rubbing furiously over it. She was getting tired and, from the way she was opening her mouth in search of something to suck, hungry.
"I said at some point," he repeated to Emma's grizzly demands. "Meaning don't worry, our lives have been completely rearranged already to accommodate your needs. What more do you want?" Emma rubbed her fists over her face again before letting out a sound that was nearing towards an angry wail. With a sigh, House scooted back from Cuddy. He didn't like being interrupted at the best of times and whenever Emma interrupted him, he sometimes had to remind himself that her needs came before his, a lesson he found harder to adapt to at times than he thought it would.
"You heard her, Mom. The boss has spoken."
Reply
As far as a weekend away.... That would come but not in the immediate future. She knew she wouldn't be able to leave Emma with anyone--except maybe her parents--for an entire weekend. Not yet. In theory, she loved the idea of getting away with House for a few days but she wasn't ready to leave Emma that long, and she didn't trust anyone to keep her. It would have to wait.
She tried rubbing Emma's tummy when she started to fuss but she'd gone beyond simple comforting. She was tired and, apparently, hungry. "Yeah, I hear her," she told House as he pulled away. She picked Emma up and the moment she cradled her to her chest, Emma started rooting around.
Cuddy looked around the park. She was willing to feed Emma--her breasts were more than willing since it had been a few hours--but she didn't want to end their picnic. She didn't want to have to go sit in the car either. She wasn't entirely comfortable with breast feeding in public but this time, it was the best solution.
She dug through the diaper bag while Emma fussed at the lack of attention. She pulled out a small baby blanket and draped it over her shoulder. Under cover of the blanket, she lifted her shirt and got Emma settled at her breast. The blanket was big enough to hide everything, including Emma, but she still felt somehow exposed.
Reply
Emma's arm flew out, causing her hand to strike against his thigh. He looked down at her, at her face that was angrily contorted as she cried. "Hey," he said. "Don't take it out on me. I'd give you a bite of my lunch if you had any teeth to chew it with."
Of course Emma ignored him and continued fussing about until she was latched onto Cuddy's breast. He watched Cuddy assemble the blanket over both the baby and her chest while he chewed on another bite of his sandwich. Emma was quiet now, save for the hungry gulping and quiet gasping sounds she made with each suck. The only part of her he could see was her little arm poking out just beneath the blanket.
"She's going to roast under there," House remarked. To punctuate his point, he threw a squinted glance up towards the sky, which was obscured by the tree tops. He knew Cuddy was just being discreet but he did have a point - it was pretty warm.
Reply
Modesty wasn't Cuddy's only reason for trying to be discreet about breast feeding. It was a valid reason--just because she liked to wear sexy clothes didn't mean she wanted everything on full display for anyone to see.
What she'd also like to avoid was having some uptight, sexually-repressed, neo-Puritan complaining that she was being indecent. Amazing in this day and age but it did happen. Anyone dumb enough to lodge a complaint would get an earful from Cuddy, of course. She didn't believe there was anything even remotely indecent about breast feeding. She'd prefer not to ruin her afternoon in the park arguing with sanctimonious morons, though.
Emma, of course, was completely oblivious to any questions of decency along with the blanket. However, Cuddy did shift a bit so she was turned more toward House. Then she lifted the blanket enough so that it wasn't lying directly on top of Emma and there was room for air to circulate. "She'll be fine for as long as it takes her to nurse."
Reply
Leave a comment