Morning, May 15
Cuddy really didn't sleep after House left, not even after she turned off the light and stretched out in the bed. She dozed a little but always roused after a few minutes to look at the bassinet. Emma slept, at least, and watching her daughter sleeping so innocently was completely engrossing for Cuddy
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Still, she understood what House meant. Having a baby was such a huge change and it happened so quickly.... Okay, it wasn't exactly quick. It hadn't been for her anyway. She'd felt the physical effects of pregnancy almost from the very beginning. Being pregnant was shockingly different to being a new mother, though. Even the hours of labor didn't give much time to take in the reality of the situation because she'd been too caught up in getting through labor to think much about how it would end.
That moment, though, when the doctor held up her new daughter had spun her world 180 degrees. Part of her brain was completely caught up in the joy of being a mom. Another part of her brain was still trying to process it. She couldn't imagine how House felt. He'd been ambivalent to begin with and then he hadn't ever felt the baby kicking inside him or struggled through a contraction. He was less prepared for the change than she'd been.
"Just wait," she said, turning her head against the pillow to look at him. "In a few weeks...months...we'll probably wonder what all the fuss was about." She didn't really believe that but she did think they'd settle into a new routine and it would start to feel normal.
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Still, he went on to explain. "Remember when you had concussion, how weird everything seemed to you." God, that felt like a lifetime ago now, he thought to himself. "Everything was real but to you it seemed foggy." He turned his head against the mattress and looked at her. "That's kind of like me at the moment. I got hit on the head with a reality two-by-four yesterday and now I'm waiting for the fogginess to pass."
In all honesty, this wasn't how he expected the birth of their kid to be like for him. Actually, come to think of it, he wasn't sure what he expected. He'd tried envisioning it enough times before the baby was due but even then, it had seemed such a surreal situation to be in that he could never quite grasp an idea of what to expect.
As Cuddy replied that they'd both soon enough wonder what the fuss was all about, he snorted lightly. "Be careful what you wish for. Maybe in a few weeks time, we'll be wondering when the hell all the fussing ends."
Maybe Cuddy had a point. Or maybe he had an even bigger one. Having a new baby was so far into the realm of the unknown for House that he just didn't know where this new change would take him. Or Cuddy, for that matter.
He leaned in closer and kissed her, a barely there press of their lips on each other. When he pulled back, he was stifling another yawn. "Think I will have a nap," he decided. He started to sit up. "You should, too. You look about as glad to be awake as a zombie."
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She didn't feel foggy, not like she had with the concussion. It was more that it was all too exciting and amazing and, yeah, intimidating--so much so she couldn't quite take it all in. She didn't feel like she had to process it all right now, though. She kind of liked the awed feeling she had when she looked at Emma. She liked feeling like this was the most amazing event in her life. She liked feeling a bit overwhelmed with love and protectiveness every time she thought about the little girl sleeping just a few feet away. She wasn't in any hurry to stop feeling like this.
"Hey," she said quietly, reaching out to grab his arm when he started to sit up. "Stay here." She grabbed the bed control with her other hand and lowered the head of the bed. She urged him to lie down on his side and she snuggled up behind him. The bed didn't feel so cramped when they spooned together and this bed had to be more comfortable than the foldout bed in the loveseat.
"I'll keep an eye on the time," she said, fighting back a yawn as she draped her arm over him. "I'll sleep after you go to your appointment."
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"Except for one small little baby-sized problem where you probably won't get to sleep once I've left," he pointed out. Emma could very well wake at any time and he'd be gone at least a couple of hours. If Cuddy did manage to squeeze in any sleep after he left, it wouldn't be very long.
"Don't worry about the time," he added. He moved a little so he could look at his watch and, with his other hand, he depressed one of the buttons on the side several times. "There," he said once he'd dropped his hands back to the bed. "Alarm's set to go off in half an hour."
He groaned quietly to himself. Half an hour. That was barely anything. Still, with Cuddy cuddled up warm and solid to his back and her arm around him, it was near impossible to resist sleep. House fought to keep his eyes open for a few minutes, peering over to where the bassinet was. The baby hadn't stirred yet; she was still sound asleep, the lucky thing.
Clutching Cuddy's hand, he pulled her that bit closer to his back and closed his eyes with a sigh. It took less than five minutes for him to drift off into a deep, groggy doze, the kind where everything in his body felt tired and heavy with weariness.
It seemed like only a minute had passed when the high pitched sound of his watch alarm pierced into his sleep. He awoke but only just and fumbled around sleepily for the snooze activation before relaxing straight back into the deep doze.
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Sooner or later she'd get synchronized with Emma's schedule. She'd learn to sleep when Emma did. For the time being, despite her fatigue, she still had a hard time settling down. She couldn't stop thinking about Emma. Her emotions were running on high. She was a bit uncomfortable, too--she had some mild cramping as her uterus contracted down and the discomfort between her legs.... Well, she tried not to think too much about her vagina had endured. Everything conspired to keep her from really get calm and comfortable.
Still, as she lie curled up to House's back, she felt as relaxed as she had in a while. She kept her arm around him and tucked her head up to the back of his neck. Without intending to, she fell asleep in just a few minutes, the heat of his body lulling her that last little bit into slumber.
She jerked awake as an obnoxious sound penetrated her hearing. The sound had already stopped by the time she cracked her eyes open. She pulled her hand from around him and rubbed at her eyes, trying to dislodge what felt like a bucket full of sand under her eyelids. She noticed Emma stirring, most likely disturbed by the sound. She waited, watching quietly, and thankfully, Emma settled down again once the room was silent.
Cuddy woke up enough to realize the sound had been House's alarm. She let out faint groan, then shifted up onto her elbow when he didn't move. "House," she said, whispering to avoid disturbing Emma again. She leaned over him and shook his shoulder. "House, you have to get up."
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A slight hypnic jerk jolted him out of the dream and he realised that his shoulder was being shaken. "Hmmmn," he grunted again and it took all the energy he had to make his eyes open. They felt like they were being weighed down with lead weights, and his eyes felt itchy and irritated with tiredness.
It took him a couple of seconds to come to properly and he groaned again, this time protestingly. God damn it. He didn't want to get up. He'd been on the go most of the night and this morning and now he had to be on the go again.
"Oh, god," he complained under his breath as he stretched and lifted a hand to his face to rub it. He yawned and had to fight with all his might not to let his eyelids droop closed again. With another yawn, one that made his scratchy eyes water, he hauled himself up to a sitting position and scooted to the edge of the mattress. Then he just sagged, his shoulders hanging low and his back hunched.
"Thanks for waking me," he said to Cuddy, dripping with sarcasm. He hit a button on his watch to shut off the alarm as it started beeping again, then he scrubbed his face with his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. With utmost reluctance, he dragged himself off the bed.
"Want me to come back in afterwards?" he asked groggily as he grabbed his things.
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She lay back down, pulling one of the pillows down to hug to her chest now that she didn't have House's warm body to spoon up against. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it back from her eyes as she watched him collect his stuff. Boy, she was glad she didn't have to get up and do anything. Not for a while, anyway. The short nap hadn't really served to revive her at all. In anything, it had only made her more aware of how tired she was.
"Yes," she said when he'd finished gathering his things. She forced herself to sit up and she reached for him, pulling him into a hug. She pulled back to kiss his cheek. "You don't have to come back right away, though. If you want to go home and get some sleep, I won't mind." She yawned again. "If Emma starts walking or solving quadratic equations, I'll call you. Otherwise...." She shook her head as her jaw nearly cracked in another yawn. "I'm just going to sleep."
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