Time out was what he meant about walking away. One of the things Megan had discussed with him was his approach to disagreements and confrontation. She hadn't needed to probe too deeply - how he responded to her questions had been enough of an idea of how he approached disputes. But one of the things she'd tried to talk to him about was walking away when an argument got too heated, especially between Cuddy and himself. She'd said that perhaps it didn't matter as much with those whom he didn't really know but it definitely mattered with Cuddy.
"Do you want your child to witness the way in which you and Lisa fight?" she'd asked him. He'd paused at that question. He wanted the kid to know how to stand up for him or herself. But he didn't want the kid to see how he and Cuddy could tear each other apart. He'd slowly shook his head and damn her, he had to admit to himself that she was right about walking away. Even if it didn't solve anything, it would at least allow time for the argument to diffuse. More importantly, it wouldn't allow the kid to see Mom and Dad in a full fledged argument.
He dropped his head to the back of the couch with a heavy sigh when Cuddy brought up the night they'd had a huge, ugly falling out that was sparked by the topic of vasectomies. What a horrendous night that had been. He'd really taken it way too far that night. The guilt that ate into him for hours after Cuddy had ducked off into the crowd, crying her eyes out, had been immense. He sure as hell didn't want a repeat of that kind of night again, or like their last night in Europe.
"See, and I didn't think you'd react the way you did because it made sense to me that you'd be in agreement with me, after the way everything's turned out," he replied.
He looked at Cuddy. He'd done some thinking about the issue of getting a vasectomy, too. He didn't want another kid but Cuddy had mentioned that she might, and that he might take to parenthood better than he thought. It was another issue he'd raised with Megan. She'd raised the point that other contraceptive options were just as effective as a vasectomy without being permanent.
Of course he knew that and he'd argued with her that he wasn't interested in anything that wasn't permanent. But then she'd pointed out that it wasn't just his decision to make and maybe he should try to compromise on the matter first. "Contraception, including vasectomy, should be a joint decision," she'd said. "You have to do what's right for both of you, not just what you want." The discussions they had definitely left him with food for thought and slowly, he began thinking that maybe he could try to compromise.
He gave a conceding shrug. "You're right," he admitted. "Then again, maybe if we'd discussed it, it would have turned into a big ugly fight, anyway." He leaned forward for his drink, took a long sip and sat back again. "I've changed my mind about that, anyway," he went on to say. "There are other contraceptive options - depo, implanon, IUD. We should probably consider those and others before going ahead with something permanent."
"And yet you should know better to assume I'll just agree with you on, well, anything," Cuddy said when House explained he'd thought she would understand his thinking on a vasectomy. She had understood, once she'd had time to think over all the pros and cons. It was the fact he hadn't been willing to give her that time, that he'd expected her to simply go along with his decision, that had led to the argument.
"The same goes for me," she added quickly, not wanting him to think she was putting all the blame on him. "It takes two and we've both made our share of unfounded assumptions."
She did blame him for the vasectomy argument and how it had escalated but that was only one fight. A horrific one but only one. She'd caused or contributed to her fair share of their disagreements. She certainly got just as angry or hurt or stubborn as he did. They both recognized that. Now they needed to learn to communicate without jumping to conclusions. She really believed if he'd simply presented his desire for a vasectomy and explained why without insisting she immediately agree with him, then it would never have progressed to such a vicious fight. It was one of those occasions when she might have had to take a time out so she could think but ultimately, she would've understood his position. He'd just needed to be patient. Patience, however, was something they both struggled with at times.
She looked at him, a increasingly incredulous look on her face as he told her he'd decided against a vasectomy. "You are going to drive me completely and utterly crazy." She raised her hands and leaned toward him as though she were going to strangle him but then she dropped her hands and simply sagged against him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.
"You are so frustrating," she said, but she was almost laughing as she said it. "I really tried hard to understand why you wanted a vasectomy and I got to the point where I was okay with that decision. I even came up with a plan if, by some chance, we decided we wanted another child--adoption." She let out another exasperated laugh. "What made you change your mind?"
He frowned at Cuddy and even started to inch away from her as she came towards him with hands outstretched. He was going to drive her utterly crazy? Well, that wasn't anything new. But this was one instance he thought she'd actually be glad instead of frustrated with him.
"You mean you are frustrating," he retorted, with her sagged against his side. "I thought telling you that would make you happy instead of homicidal." He frowned even more at what she went on to say, mouthing incredulously to himself, 'Adoption?', as that was definitely something he'd never once even considered.
"Adoption?" he echoed instead of answering her question straight away. "Seriously?" He pulled away from her enough to give her a bemused look. If she thought vasectomies were announced out of the blue, adoption was worth the same weight in surprise. He shook the surprise off, though. It wasn't something they had to even consider, not if he was opting out of the vasectomy for now.
"The idea of being separated from my boys," he finally answered her, not a serious answer by a long shot. Truthfully, there was something unsettling about having his sperm cut off. Call it a male ego thing, but the idea of a vasectomy felt like a part of his masculinity was being taken away. Ridiculous and he knew it was, especially as a doctor. But nothing got in the way of the male ego and how easily it could be bruised.
That wasn't the reason he'd changed his mind, though, of course. "Well, like I said - there are other options. It's a compromise, isn't it? Something you said I need to learn how to do." He paused, then conceded, "Maybe I talked to Dr. Lecter about it, too."
"Well, it seemed like an obvious way of keeping my options open even if you got a vasectomy," Cuddy said when House was surprised by the idea of adoption. Truthfully, it hadn't occurred to her at first. She'd spent some time thinking about what ifs--like what if he ended up enjoying fatherhood and they decided they wanted another child? It was technically possible to reverse a vasectomy but success was far from guaranteed. If he had a vasectomy, she had to consider it a final solution.
Adoption would solve that problem. If she still wanted another child and if he changed his mind about parenthood, adoption would allow them to have another child. She didn't need to have her own biological child. She'd have one already, hers and House's, and she didn't need to give birth to another one. In fact, they could actually give some child a chance he wouldn't otherwise have. Since she and House were both doctors, they could easily take on a child with special needs, a child with medical issues who might not otherwise get adopted. She found that possibility appealing.
Still resting her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him as he explained his change of mind. She knew some men got a little touchy about the subject of sterilization but she just couldn't believe House would be that irrational. Sure, he was a normal man with a super-sized ego but he was also a rational, educated physician. He knew a vasectomy would have no effect on his sexual identity or performance. She suspected Megan was behind his change of heart. The therapist had probably made him sit down and consider other options. Cuddy wondered if she shouldn't send Megan a thank-you card.
"Okay, well, I can talk to Dr. Patil about starting birth control after the baby's born. I'm thinking Norplant but I'll talk to her about it. Maybe Depo would be better." She gave a little shrug. She hadn't really thought about birth control because she'd thought House was going to take care of it. She'd have to do a little research to see which method she wanted to use.
"Neither of us is going to be willing to rely on condoms," she said dryly. "And I'm not sure I want to trust the pill. I've never had a problem remembering to take it but if I did, even just one or two, then it's useless. I think a longer term method would be better." She looked at him. "Is that okay with you?"
He gave a dry snort with a roll of his eyes. Relying on condoms was definitely out. "I don't like them, anyway. I prefer riding bareback than being saddled up."
There was nothing wrong with condoms - he'd tell clinic patients in a heatbeat to invest in some rubbers, if they had enough brain cells to work out how to put one on. The times he'd had a one-night stand or a hooker, he'd always used a condom. But in a relationship, if there was other contraception in place, he saw no reason to use condoms. In fact, he preferred the spontaneity and intimacy that going 'bareback' offered. He liked being inside Cuddy without a barrier.
He popped the last bite of quiche into his mouth and looked at Cuddy while he chewed. "Whatever works," he replied. "It's your body. Longer term would be a lot less hassle than something you have to do daily."
He ate the last bite of salad and set his fork down on the plate. "But if you want my opinion, I'd go with the Implanon before considering Depo. If it doesn't agree with you, you can just take it out. Depo, on the other hand - if it doesn't agree with you, you still have to put up with the side effects until it's run its course. I say only go with the Depo if the Implanon turns out to be more problematic than beneficial."
Cuddy actually preferred to forego condoms herself. It was more a psychological thing than a physical thing. To her, a condom meant a loss of intimacy. Sex with a condom was sex in which the genitals were never in direct contact and that wasn't intimate. When she was with someone she loved, she wanted complete intimacy.
Of course, as a single woman, condoms were a fact. She'd been on the pill before starting her fertility treatments but the pill didn't protect against STDs. Dating in this day and age meant infection was a very real threat. Very few of her relationships had lasted long enough to get to the point where she trusted her partner enough to drop the condoms. House was one of those relationships and she didn't want to have to use condoms...even if she could trust either of them to remember them.
"Yeah. Well, I'll see what Barbara has to say." She actually preferred the implant based on what she knew. It was slightly more effective, longer lasting, and easier to reverse. There were no contra-indications for her so it shouldn't be a problem but she'd wait to see what her doctor had to say, just to be sure.
She snuggled up to his side more comfortably. There were still a few bites of quiche on her plate, probably cold by now. She wasn't hungry anymore, anyway, and she'd learned not to overeat when Junior was squishing her stomach to half its size. That was just asking for heartburn and she'd had enough of that in the last couple of months to do her for a lifetime.
"There's ice cream in the freezer if you want dessert," she said.
"Hmmm," he pondered over dessert. He always wanted dessert. But dessert was all the way in the kitchen and he couldn't be bothered getting up to walk all that way, not while he was already full and had Cuddy snuggled up to his side.
"Maybe later," he decided. He stifled yet another yawn. "Can't be bothered getting up." He moved only to put his plate on the coffee table but then settled back and rested his hands on his lap while content to have Cuddy relaxed beside him. The meal, while not fantastic, had satisfied him enough to make him feel more on the comfortably lethargic side.
He was going to have to get up sooner or later, though, to have one of his pills. Because the prazosin was specifically for his nightmares, he had to take those in the evening. The good thing was they did actually keep most of his nightmares at bay. The nasal congestion it had caused was a side effect that had eased off - he mostly only awoke in the mornings a little congested now.
He lolled his head against the couch to look at Cuddy, then lifted his arm to wrap it around her shoulders. Giving them a squeeze, he leaned in and pecked her on the lips. He pulled back to look at her again but then closed the distance once more for another kiss.
"Hold that thought," he said when he broke away again. He turned to the plastic bags of goodies and searched around. "I just remembered: I already have dessert close by." After a moment, he produced a box and handed it over to Cuddy - a box of fruit-flavoured edible panties. "I bought you some new underwear for work," he explained with a cheeky smirk.
Cuddy made a little whine of displeasure when House disturbed her by leaning forward. She settled right back against his side, though, when he slumped back against the couch. She was feeling comfortable and relaxed. Even Junior was cooperating by not flinging his arms and legs into her internal organs every two seconds.
This was the kind of evening she enjoyed spending with House. Granted, it wasn't over yet and there was no predicting what might happen but so far, it had been nice. They'd had a couple of laughs, they'd talked a little, they'd been at ease with each other. It was exactly the kind of evening she always dreamed of spending with her significant other. She dreamed of a whole lifetime of quiet, comfortable evenings. This, hopefully, was the first of that lifetime.
She hadn't minded being disturbed for kisses but she whined a little more strongly when he pulled away again. "Oh, yeah, that would work out just great," she said, rolling her eyes at the allegedly edible panties. "They'd probably melt and stick to my skin and my clothes. Not to mention I'd smell like a fruit roll-up all day."
She snatched the box from him and opened it, pulling out a pair of the panties. She discarded the box, tossing it on the coffee table, then lifted to the panties to her nose. Well, they definitely smelled fruity. She held them in front her while she gave them a thorough look. She'd never actually had a pair of edible panties and she was...interested. With an intensely curious look on her face, she brought the panties to her face again and licked them.
"Can't say much for the flavor. Maybe it's an acquired taste," she said as she held the panties up for House to sample.
"All the more to lick, my dear," House replied to Cuddy's claim the panties would melt and stick to her skin, with a suggestive waggle of his brows. He smirked in amusement as she snatched the box from him and he sat back, watching her while she opened it.
He was even more amused by her curiosity. If there was one thing he was good for in this relationship, it was introducing Cuddy to new and different things, all of which she'd never sampled before. Edible panties was apparently one of those things, which she was now literally sampling. Like the MILF shirt, he'd only bought the panties for their novelty. He'd expected her to dismiss the panties in the same way she'd dismissed the shirt, rather than show any fascination in them.
He took them back, the panties dangling from his forefinger as he held them up. "It's not the flavour that matters so much as what you do with them," he pointed out. He drew it to his face and sniffed. They had a tropical fruit scent to them, kind of like a lollipop. "If it is an acquired taste, that means I'd have to spent a long time getting used to the flavour. Which means you'd have to be extremely patient in me getting acquired to the taste."
Lowering the panties, he glanced at Cuddy with a devious glimmer in his eyes. "The best way to enjoy dessert is to take your time eating it, right? And you said we could make it an early night..." He trailed off and lifted the panties again, dangling them tauntingly at Cuddy as if trying to lure her towards them.
Cuddy let out a little snort. Whether House could aquire a taste for the panties or not, it was unlikely she'd have the patience to allow him to find out. Knowing him, he'd insist on developing his taste for the entire panty--just in case there were slight flavor variations--and no way she'd be able to wait that long. It did make her wonder how many people actually did take their time tasting, let alone eating, the entire thing. She suspected it was usually a case of a few minutes of fun with it, then tear it off and get down to business.
She stared at him, eyes wide, when he went on to taunt--tempt?--her into combining dessert and bed. Not that she had a problem with that--the chocolate had been kind of fun, if messy--but seriously, edible panties? "You're joking," she said, hoping she was right. She knew he probably wasn't joking, though, not entirely. This was exactly the kind of crazy experiment he liked. Exactly the kind of crazy thing he liked to torture her with.
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut again, staring at the panties dangling from his finger. Did she really want to do this? On the one hand, she couldn't imagine they felt very good to actually wear, especially if he made good on his threat to take his time. There was also the fact that she still got self-conscious at times. She was comfortable with her body and her sexuality but she still felt a little uncomfortable at the thought of being on display, even just for him. She could get past it just as she had when he'd wanted her to do a striptease for him but it did take her a little while to warm up to the idea.
On the other hand, it wasn't really kinky enough to be that far out of her comfort zone. Oh, what the hell. It wasn't going to hurt her to try something different. At worst, she'd learn to never, ever wear edible panties again. At best, she might enjoy it. She'd definitely enjoy watching House enjoy it...and that was the deciding factor for her. If she could give him a little fun and excitement simply by wearing the stupid panties, then there really was no downside.
"You are so going to owe me," she said, snatching the panties from his hand.
"Oh, come on," he protested as she snatched the panties from his hand. "All you'll be doing is wearing them. All I'll be doing is eating them off you. That's no different to me using you as a platter for chocolate sauce."
Except that she was about twice as pregnant and had twice as much stomach to navigate around, but he didn't care about that. So long as Cuddy was naked and he was naked, and he was as close to her as possible, that was all he cared about. Still, he cocked his head in Cuddy's direction with a wide-eyed, beseeching puppy dog look.
"I've been so lonely the past month, all by myself," he said, affecting a self-pitying tone. He had actually been lonely in the hospital - extremely lonely - but right now, he was playing up to that for his advantage to get his way. If she didn't want to wear the panties, though, that wouldn't really matter. He'd only bought them as a novelty more than because he actually wanted to use them.
But if he'd coaxed Cuddy into wearing them, all the better. He'd been with a serious lack of fun for a long while and having fun with Cuddy was the best way he could hope the evening would go. Dropping the imploring look, he regarded her thoughtfully for a moment and then leaned in. Maybe he could be more persuasive with his mouth other than using it for talking.
He swept her hair away from her neck and pressed a kiss to the side of it, then another. Reaching his hand up to her face, he turned her towards him to guide her mouth to his.
She knew it wasn't really any different than playing with chocolate. It would make less of a mess in fact. She'd hadn't been so pregnant then, though. That made it different, not because she felt less attractive because she didn't. Some days she felt kind of...not pretty. Some days all the bloating and swelling and this huge belly got to her, but most of the time she still enjoyed the way her body looked. Reveled in it even.
It was more of a mental thing. So close to delivery she could almost shake hands with Junior, her mind had really started to shift into a more maternal and less sexual mode. She was still a sexual being--that would never change--but her priorities had changed. She was more likely to look at her body and get lost in daydreaming about the baby. She spent far less time thinking about sexy--or edible--lingerie. She wasn't against thinking about lingerie, it simply took a little time for her to shift gears.
She gave him an disgusted look when he tried to play the lonely card. After all, she'd been lonely, too. Admittedly, she'd still had her freedom. She'd had more options for filling those lonely hours than he had. Being confined to the hospital, having to live by someone else's rules and having to live without familiar surroundings and friends would definitely be more difficult. So despite herself, his pathetic little look actually worked.
"I already said I'd do it," she reminded him as he began to kiss his way along her neck. She turned her head when he reached for her, leaning in to suck gently at his lips. The fruit flavored panties fell forgotten in her lap as she shifted around to face him. "Then again," she murmured, smiling and giving his lip a playful nip. "It wouldn't hurt for you to keep trying to persuade me." She pressed her fingertips lightly against his jaw to guide him in for a deeper kiss. "A few more of those would be very persuasive."
He broke away mid-deeper kiss with a mock put out sigh and roll of his eyes. Persuading Cuddy with a few more kisses was so incredibly hard. Except for the part where he had no objections of trying to persuade her further that way.
"If you insist," he grumbled but as he moved back in to resume the kiss, his lips quirked into a faint smile. He quickly fell into a deep kiss with her, sucking on her upper lip and suctioning his mouth fully over hers. He pulled away again briefly to shift his whole body further towards her, then cupped either side of her jaw in his hands to bring her back into another deep kiss.
This one, at first, was tenderer, his eyes closed while he focused on having Cuddy close, the taste of her lips, her tongue, the warmth of her breath against his and her hands on him. God, he'd missed her. He'd missed this. Almost every night in the hospital, he'd wished Cuddy was there beside him in bed, keeping him company. She needn't have even been doing anything - just being there, asleep, would have been enough. Many times, he'd rolled over in the empty, small bed, in his empty, small room, and wished he could have had her warm body to press up behind or her cuddling up against him.
He tilted his head and probed his tongue into her mouth, sliding a hand into her hair as the kiss scaled up a notch in passion. He'd wished he'd been able to share these with her, too - kisses, no matter how small or quiet, but just kisses especially the sorts of ones Cuddy pressed affectionately over his chin and cheeks whenever she was snuggling with him, her hands in his hair or caressing some part of his body.
He pulled back just enough to get a breath of air, rubbing his nose against hers with his eyes still closed, then pressed another much softer kiss to her lips. At last he opened his eyes to look at her and he ran his tongue over his lips as he did so. "How much more persuading do I need to do?" he asked quietly.
"Oh, I definitely insist," Cuddy said, smiling against his mouth as he resumed kissing her.
She loved this. Not just the kissing although that was pretty damn good. She loved being with him, being with someone who could mix playful and passionate in the same kiss. Someone with whom she was so comfortable she could focus all her attention on enjoying his presence instead of worrying about whether she was coming on too strong or too shy or too anything. Someone whose love she could feel in the way he cradled her head gently in his hands and the way his tongue made love to her mouth.
She sucked at his tongue as it probed her mouth, sliding her own tongue sinuously along his. She hadn't been sure whether she'd be able to get fully in the mood but these kinds of kisses, these deep, dirty, needy kinds of kisses did the trick. The longer the kiss continued, the more heated her skin became. It was reassuring--no matter how damaged their relationship got, no matter how crazy he got or how pregnant she got--there was still a strong and unbroken connection between them.
"There's no such thing as too much persuasion," she said, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "After all, you are asking me to wear fruit."
She gave him a quick peck on the tip of the nose, then the chin, and then finally the mouth before pulling back. "Come on, I think I can find a more comfortable place to explore the limits of persuasion." She turned herself and leaned forward to get up...without much success. She needed to get a little more momentum going to overcome the weight of her belly. She let out a frustrated laugh. "Give me a push, okay?"
His skin was a little hotter and a little more flushed all over from the kissing, a reaction from the mere effect she had on him, though his body was being slow to respond to Cuddy sexually. The only explanation for that was the medication. Everywhere else, however - his insides, his chest, his heart, all the feelings he had for Cuddy - was knotted up in the ways only Cuddy knew how to knot up without even trying.
"I could ask you to wear the MILF shirt to go with it," he replied with a smirk. That wouldn't fly with her and he knew it. Not to mention the shirt wouldn't even fit Cuddy, as it wasn't designed as maternity wear. But he'd only been joking about the shirt, of course. Besides, there was little point in squeezing Cuddy into something, only to have it ripped off again (the panties were an exception in this case).
"I'd rather see you try and get up off the couch yourself," he taunted. He'd make fun of her about it, too, if he wasn't so eager to get moving to a more comfortable place in the house. Not wanting to be slapped for teasing her, he got to his feet and extended a hand to her, to haul her up. Even that took a bit of momentum.
He was about to make a joke about needing to install a pulley system to get Cuddy manoeuvred around the house with how big she was, but he thought better of it. The last thing he wanted was Cuddy getting huffy or upset at something she may take personally. Instead, he pecked a kiss to her lips as he ran his hands down her arms before nudging her in the direction of the door.
"Don't forget these," he said of the panties. Just so they wouldn't get misplaced, he tugged them onto his head as a kind of fruit-flavoured head wear and followed Cuddy out into the hall, where he moved up right behindf her. "I'll give you a push all the way to the bedroom, if that's any help," he said against her ear, wrapping his arms around her middle with his hands settling on her belly. And like that, he slowly limp-waddled with Cuddy towards her room, kissing her ear and the side of her neck as they went.
"Apparently, you'd rather not have sex then," Cuddy said archly when he refused to help her off the couch. She was capable of getting up under her own power...eventually...but making her use her energy to shift her bulk wasn't going to help keep her in the mood. The thing she didn't like about her belly wasn't the size per se; it was that she felt so graceless and ungainly. She wasn't used to a body that was shaped like this and she was always having to adapt to the ways it couldn't move. She wanted him to help her so she didn't look like a sea lion trying to heft itself off the rocks.
Fortunately, House didn't seem to be in the mood to push his luck tonight. He gave her a boost and she settled heavily on her feet. She let out a bray of a laugh when he stuck the panties on his head. He looked like an idiot, which was probably his intention. "You expect me to wear those now they've been on your head? Ick," she teased.
She laid her hands over his on her belly as they clumsily made their way toward the bedroom. It would be easier and faster to walk on her own but she couldn't bring herself to pull away. House was irresistible when he was being playful and affectionate. She let her head drop back against his shoulder, tilting it to the side to bare her neck to his kisses. That only made them move more slowly but so what--they had no need to hurry.
As they reached the bedroom door, she tilted her chin to kiss him. She opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of those stupid fruit panties on his head and let out another laugh just as their lips met. "You're such a moron," she laughed quietly as she turned toward him. She reached up and plucked the panties off, tossing them on the bed. Distraction gone, she leaned in for a proper kiss, slow and deep. At the same time she slid her hands under his shirt, tugging the fabric up until they had to break the kiss to pull it over his head.
"Do you want your child to witness the way in which you and Lisa fight?" she'd asked him. He'd paused at that question. He wanted the kid to know how to stand up for him or herself. But he didn't want the kid to see how he and Cuddy could tear each other apart. He'd slowly shook his head and damn her, he had to admit to himself that she was right about walking away. Even if it didn't solve anything, it would at least allow time for the argument to diffuse. More importantly, it wouldn't allow the kid to see Mom and Dad in a full fledged argument.
He dropped his head to the back of the couch with a heavy sigh when Cuddy brought up the night they'd had a huge, ugly falling out that was sparked by the topic of vasectomies. What a horrendous night that had been. He'd really taken it way too far that night. The guilt that ate into him for hours after Cuddy had ducked off into the crowd, crying her eyes out, had been immense. He sure as hell didn't want a repeat of that kind of night again, or like their last night in Europe.
"See, and I didn't think you'd react the way you did because it made sense to me that you'd be in agreement with me, after the way everything's turned out," he replied.
He looked at Cuddy. He'd done some thinking about the issue of getting a vasectomy, too. He didn't want another kid but Cuddy had mentioned that she might, and that he might take to parenthood better than he thought. It was another issue he'd raised with Megan. She'd raised the point that other contraceptive options were just as effective as a vasectomy without being permanent.
Of course he knew that and he'd argued with her that he wasn't interested in anything that wasn't permanent. But then she'd pointed out that it wasn't just his decision to make and maybe he should try to compromise on the matter first. "Contraception, including vasectomy, should be a joint decision," she'd said. "You have to do what's right for both of you, not just what you want." The discussions they had definitely left him with food for thought and slowly, he began thinking that maybe he could try to compromise.
He gave a conceding shrug. "You're right," he admitted. "Then again, maybe if we'd discussed it, it would have turned into a big ugly fight, anyway." He leaned forward for his drink, took a long sip and sat back again. "I've changed my mind about that, anyway," he went on to say. "There are other contraceptive options - depo, implanon, IUD. We should probably consider those and others before going ahead with something permanent."
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"The same goes for me," she added quickly, not wanting him to think she was putting all the blame on him. "It takes two and we've both made our share of unfounded assumptions."
She did blame him for the vasectomy argument and how it had escalated but that was only one fight. A horrific one but only one. She'd caused or contributed to her fair share of their disagreements. She certainly got just as angry or hurt or stubborn as he did. They both recognized that. Now they needed to learn to communicate without jumping to conclusions. She really believed if he'd simply presented his desire for a vasectomy and explained why without insisting she immediately agree with him, then it would never have progressed to such a vicious fight. It was one of those occasions when she might have had to take a time out so she could think but ultimately, she would've understood his position. He'd just needed to be patient. Patience, however, was something they both struggled with at times.
She looked at him, a increasingly incredulous look on her face as he told her he'd decided against a vasectomy. "You are going to drive me completely and utterly crazy." She raised her hands and leaned toward him as though she were going to strangle him but then she dropped her hands and simply sagged against him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.
"You are so frustrating," she said, but she was almost laughing as she said it. "I really tried hard to understand why you wanted a vasectomy and I got to the point where I was okay with that decision. I even came up with a plan if, by some chance, we decided we wanted another child--adoption." She let out another exasperated laugh. "What made you change your mind?"
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"You mean you are frustrating," he retorted, with her sagged against his side. "I thought telling you that would make you happy instead of homicidal." He frowned even more at what she went on to say, mouthing incredulously to himself, 'Adoption?', as that was definitely something he'd never once even considered.
"Adoption?" he echoed instead of answering her question straight away. "Seriously?" He pulled away from her enough to give her a bemused look. If she thought vasectomies were announced out of the blue, adoption was worth the same weight in surprise. He shook the surprise off, though. It wasn't something they had to even consider, not if he was opting out of the vasectomy for now.
"The idea of being separated from my boys," he finally answered her, not a serious answer by a long shot. Truthfully, there was something unsettling about having his sperm cut off. Call it a male ego thing, but the idea of a vasectomy felt like a part of his masculinity was being taken away. Ridiculous and he knew it was, especially as a doctor. But nothing got in the way of the male ego and how easily it could be bruised.
That wasn't the reason he'd changed his mind, though, of course. "Well, like I said - there are other options. It's a compromise, isn't it? Something you said I need to learn how to do." He paused, then conceded, "Maybe I talked to Dr. Lecter about it, too."
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Adoption would solve that problem. If she still wanted another child and if he changed his mind about parenthood, adoption would allow them to have another child. She didn't need to have her own biological child. She'd have one already, hers and House's, and she didn't need to give birth to another one. In fact, they could actually give some child a chance he wouldn't otherwise have. Since she and House were both doctors, they could easily take on a child with special needs, a child with medical issues who might not otherwise get adopted. She found that possibility appealing.
Still resting her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him as he explained his change of mind. She knew some men got a little touchy about the subject of sterilization but she just couldn't believe House would be that irrational. Sure, he was a normal man with a super-sized ego but he was also a rational, educated physician. He knew a vasectomy would have no effect on his sexual identity or performance. She suspected Megan was behind his change of heart. The therapist had probably made him sit down and consider other options. Cuddy wondered if she shouldn't send Megan a thank-you card.
"Okay, well, I can talk to Dr. Patil about starting birth control after the baby's born. I'm thinking Norplant but I'll talk to her about it. Maybe Depo would be better." She gave a little shrug. She hadn't really thought about birth control because she'd thought House was going to take care of it. She'd have to do a little research to see which method she wanted to use.
"Neither of us is going to be willing to rely on condoms," she said dryly. "And I'm not sure I want to trust the pill. I've never had a problem remembering to take it but if I did, even just one or two, then it's useless. I think a longer term method would be better." She looked at him. "Is that okay with you?"
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There was nothing wrong with condoms - he'd tell clinic patients in a heatbeat to invest in some rubbers, if they had enough brain cells to work out how to put one on. The times he'd had a one-night stand or a hooker, he'd always used a condom. But in a relationship, if there was other contraception in place, he saw no reason to use condoms. In fact, he preferred the spontaneity and intimacy that going 'bareback' offered. He liked being inside Cuddy without a barrier.
He popped the last bite of quiche into his mouth and looked at Cuddy while he chewed. "Whatever works," he replied. "It's your body. Longer term would be a lot less hassle than something you have to do daily."
He ate the last bite of salad and set his fork down on the plate. "But if you want my opinion, I'd go with the Implanon before considering Depo. If it doesn't agree with you, you can just take it out. Depo, on the other hand - if it doesn't agree with you, you still have to put up with the side effects until it's run its course. I say only go with the Depo if the Implanon turns out to be more problematic than beneficial."
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Of course, as a single woman, condoms were a fact. She'd been on the pill before starting her fertility treatments but the pill didn't protect against STDs. Dating in this day and age meant infection was a very real threat. Very few of her relationships had lasted long enough to get to the point where she trusted her partner enough to drop the condoms. House was one of those relationships and she didn't want to have to use condoms...even if she could trust either of them to remember them.
"Yeah. Well, I'll see what Barbara has to say." She actually preferred the implant based on what she knew. It was slightly more effective, longer lasting, and easier to reverse. There were no contra-indications for her so it shouldn't be a problem but she'd wait to see what her doctor had to say, just to be sure.
She snuggled up to his side more comfortably. There were still a few bites of quiche on her plate, probably cold by now. She wasn't hungry anymore, anyway, and she'd learned not to overeat when Junior was squishing her stomach to half its size. That was just asking for heartburn and she'd had enough of that in the last couple of months to do her for a lifetime.
"There's ice cream in the freezer if you want dessert," she said.
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"Maybe later," he decided. He stifled yet another yawn. "Can't be bothered getting up." He moved only to put his plate on the coffee table but then settled back and rested his hands on his lap while content to have Cuddy relaxed beside him. The meal, while not fantastic, had satisfied him enough to make him feel more on the comfortably lethargic side.
He was going to have to get up sooner or later, though, to have one of his pills. Because the prazosin was specifically for his nightmares, he had to take those in the evening. The good thing was they did actually keep most of his nightmares at bay. The nasal congestion it had caused was a side effect that had eased off - he mostly only awoke in the mornings a little congested now.
He lolled his head against the couch to look at Cuddy, then lifted his arm to wrap it around her shoulders. Giving them a squeeze, he leaned in and pecked her on the lips. He pulled back to look at her again but then closed the distance once more for another kiss.
"Hold that thought," he said when he broke away again. He turned to the plastic bags of goodies and searched around. "I just remembered: I already have dessert close by." After a moment, he produced a box and handed it over to Cuddy - a box of fruit-flavoured edible panties. "I bought you some new underwear for work," he explained with a cheeky smirk.
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This was the kind of evening she enjoyed spending with House. Granted, it wasn't over yet and there was no predicting what might happen but so far, it had been nice. They'd had a couple of laughs, they'd talked a little, they'd been at ease with each other. It was exactly the kind of evening she always dreamed of spending with her significant other. She dreamed of a whole lifetime of quiet, comfortable evenings. This, hopefully, was the first of that lifetime.
She hadn't minded being disturbed for kisses but she whined a little more strongly when he pulled away again. "Oh, yeah, that would work out just great," she said, rolling her eyes at the allegedly edible panties. "They'd probably melt and stick to my skin and my clothes. Not to mention I'd smell like a fruit roll-up all day."
She snatched the box from him and opened it, pulling out a pair of the panties. She discarded the box, tossing it on the coffee table, then lifted to the panties to her nose. Well, they definitely smelled fruity. She held them in front her while she gave them a thorough look. She'd never actually had a pair of edible panties and she was...interested. With an intensely curious look on her face, she brought the panties to her face again and licked them.
"Can't say much for the flavor. Maybe it's an acquired taste," she said as she held the panties up for House to sample.
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He was even more amused by her curiosity. If there was one thing he was good for in this relationship, it was introducing Cuddy to new and different things, all of which she'd never sampled before. Edible panties was apparently one of those things, which she was now literally sampling. Like the MILF shirt, he'd only bought the panties for their novelty. He'd expected her to dismiss the panties in the same way she'd dismissed the shirt, rather than show any fascination in them.
He took them back, the panties dangling from his forefinger as he held them up. "It's not the flavour that matters so much as what you do with them," he pointed out. He drew it to his face and sniffed. They had a tropical fruit scent to them, kind of like a lollipop. "If it is an acquired taste, that means I'd have to spent a long time getting used to the flavour. Which means you'd have to be extremely patient in me getting acquired to the taste."
Lowering the panties, he glanced at Cuddy with a devious glimmer in his eyes. "The best way to enjoy dessert is to take your time eating it, right? And you said we could make it an early night..." He trailed off and lifted the panties again, dangling them tauntingly at Cuddy as if trying to lure her towards them.
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She stared at him, eyes wide, when he went on to taunt--tempt?--her into combining dessert and bed. Not that she had a problem with that--the chocolate had been kind of fun, if messy--but seriously, edible panties? "You're joking," she said, hoping she was right. She knew he probably wasn't joking, though, not entirely. This was exactly the kind of crazy experiment he liked. Exactly the kind of crazy thing he liked to torture her with.
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut again, staring at the panties dangling from his finger. Did she really want to do this? On the one hand, she couldn't imagine they felt very good to actually wear, especially if he made good on his threat to take his time. There was also the fact that she still got self-conscious at times. She was comfortable with her body and her sexuality but she still felt a little uncomfortable at the thought of being on display, even just for him. She could get past it just as she had when he'd wanted her to do a striptease for him but it did take her a little while to warm up to the idea.
On the other hand, it wasn't really kinky enough to be that far out of her comfort zone. Oh, what the hell. It wasn't going to hurt her to try something different. At worst, she'd learn to never, ever wear edible panties again. At best, she might enjoy it. She'd definitely enjoy watching House enjoy it...and that was the deciding factor for her. If she could give him a little fun and excitement simply by wearing the stupid panties, then there really was no downside.
"You are so going to owe me," she said, snatching the panties from his hand.
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Except that she was about twice as pregnant and had twice as much stomach to navigate around, but he didn't care about that. So long as Cuddy was naked and he was naked, and he was as close to her as possible, that was all he cared about. Still, he cocked his head in Cuddy's direction with a wide-eyed, beseeching puppy dog look.
"I've been so lonely the past month, all by myself," he said, affecting a self-pitying tone. He had actually been lonely in the hospital - extremely lonely - but right now, he was playing up to that for his advantage to get his way. If she didn't want to wear the panties, though, that wouldn't really matter. He'd only bought them as a novelty more than because he actually wanted to use them.
But if he'd coaxed Cuddy into wearing them, all the better. He'd been with a serious lack of fun for a long while and having fun with Cuddy was the best way he could hope the evening would go. Dropping the imploring look, he regarded her thoughtfully for a moment and then leaned in. Maybe he could be more persuasive with his mouth other than using it for talking.
He swept her hair away from her neck and pressed a kiss to the side of it, then another. Reaching his hand up to her face, he turned her towards him to guide her mouth to his.
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It was more of a mental thing. So close to delivery she could almost shake hands with Junior, her mind had really started to shift into a more maternal and less sexual mode. She was still a sexual being--that would never change--but her priorities had changed. She was more likely to look at her body and get lost in daydreaming about the baby. She spent far less time thinking about sexy--or edible--lingerie. She wasn't against thinking about lingerie, it simply took a little time for her to shift gears.
She gave him an disgusted look when he tried to play the lonely card. After all, she'd been lonely, too. Admittedly, she'd still had her freedom. She'd had more options for filling those lonely hours than he had. Being confined to the hospital, having to live by someone else's rules and having to live without familiar surroundings and friends would definitely be more difficult. So despite herself, his pathetic little look actually worked.
"I already said I'd do it," she reminded him as he began to kiss his way along her neck. She turned her head when he reached for her, leaning in to suck gently at his lips. The fruit flavored panties fell forgotten in her lap as she shifted around to face him. "Then again," she murmured, smiling and giving his lip a playful nip. "It wouldn't hurt for you to keep trying to persuade me." She pressed her fingertips lightly against his jaw to guide him in for a deeper kiss. "A few more of those would be very persuasive."
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"If you insist," he grumbled but as he moved back in to resume the kiss, his lips quirked into a faint smile. He quickly fell into a deep kiss with her, sucking on her upper lip and suctioning his mouth fully over hers. He pulled away again briefly to shift his whole body further towards her, then cupped either side of her jaw in his hands to bring her back into another deep kiss.
This one, at first, was tenderer, his eyes closed while he focused on having Cuddy close, the taste of her lips, her tongue, the warmth of her breath against his and her hands on him. God, he'd missed her. He'd missed this. Almost every night in the hospital, he'd wished Cuddy was there beside him in bed, keeping him company. She needn't have even been doing anything - just being there, asleep, would have been enough. Many times, he'd rolled over in the empty, small bed, in his empty, small room, and wished he could have had her warm body to press up behind or her cuddling up against him.
He tilted his head and probed his tongue into her mouth, sliding a hand into her hair as the kiss scaled up a notch in passion. He'd wished he'd been able to share these with her, too - kisses, no matter how small or quiet, but just kisses especially the sorts of ones Cuddy pressed affectionately over his chin and cheeks whenever she was snuggling with him, her hands in his hair or caressing some part of his body.
He pulled back just enough to get a breath of air, rubbing his nose against hers with his eyes still closed, then pressed another much softer kiss to her lips. At last he opened his eyes to look at her and he ran his tongue over his lips as he did so. "How much more persuading do I need to do?" he asked quietly.
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She loved this. Not just the kissing although that was pretty damn good. She loved being with him, being with someone who could mix playful and passionate in the same kiss. Someone with whom she was so comfortable she could focus all her attention on enjoying his presence instead of worrying about whether she was coming on too strong or too shy or too anything. Someone whose love she could feel in the way he cradled her head gently in his hands and the way his tongue made love to her mouth.
She sucked at his tongue as it probed her mouth, sliding her own tongue sinuously along his. She hadn't been sure whether she'd be able to get fully in the mood but these kinds of kisses, these deep, dirty, needy kinds of kisses did the trick. The longer the kiss continued, the more heated her skin became. It was reassuring--no matter how damaged their relationship got, no matter how crazy he got or how pregnant she got--there was still a strong and unbroken connection between them.
"There's no such thing as too much persuasion," she said, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "After all, you are asking me to wear fruit."
She gave him a quick peck on the tip of the nose, then the chin, and then finally the mouth before pulling back. "Come on, I think I can find a more comfortable place to explore the limits of persuasion." She turned herself and leaned forward to get up...without much success. She needed to get a little more momentum going to overcome the weight of her belly. She let out a frustrated laugh. "Give me a push, okay?"
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"I could ask you to wear the MILF shirt to go with it," he replied with a smirk. That wouldn't fly with her and he knew it. Not to mention the shirt wouldn't even fit Cuddy, as it wasn't designed as maternity wear. But he'd only been joking about the shirt, of course. Besides, there was little point in squeezing Cuddy into something, only to have it ripped off again (the panties were an exception in this case).
"I'd rather see you try and get up off the couch yourself," he taunted. He'd make fun of her about it, too, if he wasn't so eager to get moving to a more comfortable place in the house. Not wanting to be slapped for teasing her, he got to his feet and extended a hand to her, to haul her up. Even that took a bit of momentum.
He was about to make a joke about needing to install a pulley system to get Cuddy manoeuvred around the house with how big she was, but he thought better of it. The last thing he wanted was Cuddy getting huffy or upset at something she may take personally. Instead, he pecked a kiss to her lips as he ran his hands down her arms before nudging her in the direction of the door.
"Don't forget these," he said of the panties. Just so they wouldn't get misplaced, he tugged them onto his head as a kind of fruit-flavoured head wear and followed Cuddy out into the hall, where he moved up right behindf her. "I'll give you a push all the way to the bedroom, if that's any help," he said against her ear, wrapping his arms around her middle with his hands settling on her belly. And like that, he slowly limp-waddled with Cuddy towards her room, kissing her ear and the side of her neck as they went.
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Fortunately, House didn't seem to be in the mood to push his luck tonight. He gave her a boost and she settled heavily on her feet. She let out a bray of a laugh when he stuck the panties on his head. He looked like an idiot, which was probably his intention. "You expect me to wear those now they've been on your head? Ick," she teased.
She laid her hands over his on her belly as they clumsily made their way toward the bedroom. It would be easier and faster to walk on her own but she couldn't bring herself to pull away. House was irresistible when he was being playful and affectionate. She let her head drop back against his shoulder, tilting it to the side to bare her neck to his kisses. That only made them move more slowly but so what--they had no need to hurry.
As they reached the bedroom door, she tilted her chin to kiss him. She opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of those stupid fruit panties on his head and let out another laugh just as their lips met. "You're such a moron," she laughed quietly as she turned toward him. She reached up and plucked the panties off, tossing them on the bed. Distraction gone, she leaned in for a proper kiss, slow and deep. At the same time she slid her hands under his shirt, tugging the fabric up until they had to break the kiss to pull it over his head.
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