Within You Without You CH 2
Without You I'm Nothing
Lisa came back home and shut the door behind herself. Now, she was only dreaming about a hot bath. She wanted to forget about what happened, about House. She hated and loved him at the same time. She didn’t lie when she told him she hate herself, too. She felt weak and tired and felt every muscle in her body. She took off the wet clothes and threw them on the floor. She made her way upstairs and poured hot water into the bath, filling it with aroma oils. She took a deep breath as she felt a warm water surrounding her.
The next day when she woke up, she knew she has to move on and call Tom. She had to apologize to him for House’s behavior and she didn’t want to spend the day alone with her thoughts. After 9 am she dialed his number.
“Hi Tom, it’s Lisa.” She began
“Hello Lisa.” He answered with a very formal tone.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry House ruined our date and acted like that. Nothing can explain his behavior.”
“It wasn’t your fault... I think. I don’t know what is now between you and... House, but if I am an obstacle for you...”
“No, you’re not, Tom. He’s crazy and irresponsible even for him. I hope I’ll never see him again.” She made a pause “Could we talk about it by the coffee or something?”
“Okay.” He agreed with the same tone in his voice.
“At my place in an hour?” she proposed.
“No problem. See you then.”
Cuddy left her bed and went to the bathroom to prepare herself. She cleaned her face, put the make up on and tied her hair. When she came back to the bedroom she wore a black dress and made her way to the kitchen where she started to prepare a breakfast for her and Tom.
It was a few minutes before 10 am as she heard a knock at her door. She went to open them, suspecting Tom. Instead of him she saw House, dirty and wearing the same clothes as yesterday. She automatically tried to close the door before him, but he stopped them putting his cane, making it impossible for Cuddy to close the door.
“Go away or I will call the police.” She warned him.
“I know that I’m not supposed to be here, but I just wanted to talk to you.”
“You “told me” enough yesterday. Now, go away House. Tom will be here in a few minutes.”
“That guy who run to mama right after my first punch?” he smirked.
She tried to close the door once again, but his cane was still there.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Would you let me in, please?”
“Fine, but if you will try to do anything...”
“I won’t, I promise. You don’t have to be scared of me, Lisa” he said as she let the door open wider so he could come in.
“Thank you" she closed the door behind them and both walked into the kitchen. Cuddy leaned on the cupboard and looked at him unsurely.
“You can sit.” She said harshly.
“No, thanks. It won’t take long...”
“So what do you want from me, House? Insult me, make me angry...” she started to count-out sarcastically.
“Please Lisa... I want to apologize you for what happened last night.”
“You did that already.”
“I know, but it’s not enough. I was wondering if you could ever forgive me...”
“I have already forgave you” she said without believing in her own words.
“Anyway I brought something for you” he reached to the left pocket of his jacket and took a small, blue box. “It’s nothing special, but I want you to have it.” He put the box on the kitchen table. “I better go now...” he said walking to the door.
“Wait” she said, following him “You are pale and your eyes are almost red. Do you eat anything or sleep? Do you even visit your home sometimes?” she looked at his yesterday clothes and about 3-day beard.
“I’m fine.” He looked into her eyes, happy that she still cares for him, deep inside “Goodbye, Cuddy.”
“Goodbye Greg” she said as he closed the door behind him. She came to the widow and looked at him through the curtain. He was barely holding on his own legs and cane, walking slower than ever. She couldn’t forget last night that fast, but right know she felt sorry for him. She didn’t suspect that her leaving him would make him like that. When he drove away on his motorbike, she remembered about the box.
Cuddy came back to the kitchen and tapped into the blue box. She opened it slowly and saw a small, shiny, silver thing - a key. She took it out and recognize it was the key to the safe-deposit box where during their relationship she and House decided to put the common things for both of them. As she was living with House he kept it, and as he gave it back to her now it was kind of a sign that he let her go, she is absolutely free. Lisa was holding the cold metal in her hand for a while as she felt her whole body became cool. It hit her that something has ended. She knew House was hurting her, even the previous day he did something unforgivable to her, but some part of her was still hoping that he can change. Some part of her was still loving him and cared about him. Her head and her heart was fighting the battle which was making it too hard for her. Suddenly her thoughts was stopped by the sound of knocking at the door. She quickly put the key into the pocket and came to the door.
“Hi Lisa” Tom greeted her with a smile.
“Oh, hi Tom” she opened the door wider so he could come in and she took a peep on the street.
“Everything is okay?” he asked her, noticing her actions and fact that she was surprised seeing him after she called him just an hour ago.
“Yes… I’m fine.” she stepped up for a smile, trying to threw House out of her head. “So, coffee?” She closed the front door behind them and showed him a place on a coach.
“In fact, I’m on my way to the airport, my sister is arriving for a few days so thanks for the coffee.” Tom took a place on the coach “But I think a glass of water would be fine” he added and after a minute Cuddy came back with the two glasses of water in her hands and put them on the table beside them.
“You said you wanted to talk…” he started after taking a sip and putting a drink back on the table.
“Yes… I wanted to apologize you for what happened yesterday. I even can’t find the words to express how sorry I am…”
“It’s fine.” He smiled again, turning his body to face her and taking her hands in his. “My nose stopped bleeding yesterday, it will stop hurting after a couple of days and the bruise will disappear after a month.” He tried to cheer her up ‘I like you Lisa, a lot. One crazy ex-boyfriend won’t scare me off that fast. If you said there’s nothing between you and him anymore I think we can keep trying to make this work, right?”
‘He’s not crazy ex-boyfriend - it’s House’ Her mind spoke sarcastically but she had to ignore it.
“Right.” She nodded, smiling back at him, with her hands still in his.
“Great.” He said and looked at the watched on the wall “Oh, I’m sorry I have to go now, I don’t wanna be late” he stood up and quickly kissed her on a cheek. “Call you later, okay?”
“Sure.” She said and walked him to the door.
As she closed the door, she realized her part in their conversation was… quite slim. Probably because her thoughts were still circulate around Greg.
It was 8 PM as Lisa was sitting in her favorite chair since dinner. She was holding a cup of warm tea in both of her hands, staring into the fireplace. She considered all pros and cons of her relationship with House and she still couldn’t find one, strong reason either to end it or come back to him. She was already tired of thinking about the same reasons again and again, so she decided to finally do something in this case to move it forward. She stood up, grabbing her car keys by the way to the door.
After a few minutes she was already standing at House’s door, afraid to make a move and knock. She was afraid of the upcoming conversation, but also of being with him all alone in his apartment after last night event. She took a deep breath as the door opened in front of her. She beheld House barely holding on his own legs, the handle was his only support now. He looked even worse than in the morning, and his clothes was dirty and ragged.
“What.. what are you doing here…? You breath so loud…” he babbled.
“Greg, are you drunk or high again?” she asked him with a resigned tone, couldn’t believe her eyes.
“You will never stop thinking about me like that, won’t you…? And no. I am… I am clean and sober.” He hacked between the words.
“Damn… come here” Cuddy stepped forward and threw his arm over her shoulder, closing the door by the other hand and leading him to the nearest seat.