nnnnnnnyeah
When life hands you a lemon...
...squirt the fucking juice in life's eye.
Yeah so I'm contemplating the nomadic life of a circus freak, mostly to get away from all the BS I put up with these days.
Since some people actually read these posts, I'll have to use my words wisely. I hate doing that.
Suffice to say there's one person who I must deal with on a regular basis; I do not find these encounters very pleasant per se. She's a nice girl but the times when I'm forced to smile and nod politely are REALLY annoying. Now I find out this girl has volunteered herself into something which is a separate but huge part of my life... so I have to deal with her in two different settings. Now I'm not saying I dislike her... maybe this new situation will help me understand her better. But those days when she gets on my nerves are really piling up. If I go into anymore detail I will give away her identity and I'd rather not do that right now. I'm still somewhat hopeful that my irritance (is that a real word?) will be resolved in some fashion soon, before that particular situation becomes stressful with the upcoming season. Yeah, that was a big hint. Oh well.
And on a related topic, my faith in the power of my sorority has once again waned with yet another stupidly unnecessary incident. Again I will not name any particulars, but suffice to say it should never have happened. In no way does it reflect on me as a person this time, thank God, but it does confirm previous theories that this person is a conniving, self-centered, manipulative bitch. That's right! I finally said it to someone other than Mike. I've had these suspicions for about a year, but was easygoing enough to turn a blind eye since it didn't involve me. Now it DOES involve me and I'll be damned if she'll get away with that bullshit while I have something to say about it.
So it seems as though I am the center of massive Phi Sig drama this year. Why? That's a good question; I don't know. I'm the sort of person who is honest (sometimes brutally so) but can admit when I'm wrong... never really had a problem with it. But I also expect a certain level of social etiquette. IE: If I'm wrong, I will go out of my way to apologize unconditionally and make amends. These last few incidents with my so-called "sisters" have NOT been my fault in any way, so why the hell should I have to feel bad about them?
Truth is, I don't. At least not for myself. I simply worry that some wackjobs think they can get away with barbaric behaviour, when really what they are doing is totally unacceptable in every possible respect. If I don't stand up and say something, they will continue to hurt other people. I have a socially responsible conscience that wouldn't let me sit idly by, even if I tried to.
Then there's the underlying question that cries from the pit of my soul: Why are they choosing me as an outlet for their ignorance? Is my life that offensive to other people? Do they think they have any right to outwardly harass me? These are all questions I'll probably never have answered, and yet they are central to the issues in question. Here's my theory:
I bring a touch of realism into the sheltered and protective sorority shell. Most of these girls (including myself) come from upper-middle class caucasion families; hence, not necessarily a huge amount of life experience (there are exceptions, but I'm making an ethnographic generalization). They spend their spare time drinking, fucking random people and congratulating themselves on how awesome they are.
I do none of the above. My evenings are spent with my common-law boyfriend/fiance, cooking/cleaning or working (if I'm not studying). I deal with depression, panic disorder, hypersomnia and travel anxiety. Until recently I was the sole bread winner, supporting three people and three cats. And to top it off, I've had some serious health concerns lately which I will not discuss at the present time. I'm thinking about my wedding, my career, having kids within the next few years... I'm planning for my future. Maybe it's because I'm at least one year older than most of them, I don't know. But it's damn frustrating to know I'm an outcast because I am more mature and responsible.
Enough ranting for today.
Oh, and btw... I heart ebay!!!
...squirt the fucking juice in life's eye.
Yeah so I'm contemplating the nomadic life of a circus freak, mostly to get away from all the BS I put up with these days.
Since some people actually read these posts, I'll have to use my words wisely. I hate doing that.
Suffice to say there's one person who I must deal with on a regular basis; I do not find these encounters very pleasant per se. She's a nice girl but the times when I'm forced to smile and nod politely are REALLY annoying. Now I find out this girl has volunteered herself into something which is a separate but huge part of my life... so I have to deal with her in two different settings. Now I'm not saying I dislike her... maybe this new situation will help me understand her better. But those days when she gets on my nerves are really piling up. If I go into anymore detail I will give away her identity and I'd rather not do that right now. I'm still somewhat hopeful that my irritance (is that a real word?) will be resolved in some fashion soon, before that particular situation becomes stressful with the upcoming season. Yeah, that was a big hint. Oh well.
And on a related topic, my faith in the power of my sorority has once again waned with yet another stupidly unnecessary incident. Again I will not name any particulars, but suffice to say it should never have happened. In no way does it reflect on me as a person this time, thank God, but it does confirm previous theories that this person is a conniving, self-centered, manipulative bitch. That's right! I finally said it to someone other than Mike. I've had these suspicions for about a year, but was easygoing enough to turn a blind eye since it didn't involve me. Now it DOES involve me and I'll be damned if she'll get away with that bullshit while I have something to say about it.
So it seems as though I am the center of massive Phi Sig drama this year. Why? That's a good question; I don't know. I'm the sort of person who is honest (sometimes brutally so) but can admit when I'm wrong... never really had a problem with it. But I also expect a certain level of social etiquette. IE: If I'm wrong, I will go out of my way to apologize unconditionally and make amends. These last few incidents with my so-called "sisters" have NOT been my fault in any way, so why the hell should I have to feel bad about them?
Truth is, I don't. At least not for myself. I simply worry that some wackjobs think they can get away with barbaric behaviour, when really what they are doing is totally unacceptable in every possible respect. If I don't stand up and say something, they will continue to hurt other people. I have a socially responsible conscience that wouldn't let me sit idly by, even if I tried to.
Then there's the underlying question that cries from the pit of my soul: Why are they choosing me as an outlet for their ignorance? Is my life that offensive to other people? Do they think they have any right to outwardly harass me? These are all questions I'll probably never have answered, and yet they are central to the issues in question. Here's my theory:
I bring a touch of realism into the sheltered and protective sorority shell. Most of these girls (including myself) come from upper-middle class caucasion families; hence, not necessarily a huge amount of life experience (there are exceptions, but I'm making an ethnographic generalization). They spend their spare time drinking, fucking random people and congratulating themselves on how awesome they are.
I do none of the above. My evenings are spent with my common-law boyfriend/fiance, cooking/cleaning or working (if I'm not studying). I deal with depression, panic disorder, hypersomnia and travel anxiety. Until recently I was the sole bread winner, supporting three people and three cats. And to top it off, I've had some serious health concerns lately which I will not discuss at the present time. I'm thinking about my wedding, my career, having kids within the next few years... I'm planning for my future. Maybe it's because I'm at least one year older than most of them, I don't know. But it's damn frustrating to know I'm an outcast because I am more mature and responsible.
Enough ranting for today.
Oh, and btw... I heart ebay!!!