Update from the 14th
Wow.....
Getting shivers up my spine, a good burn in my chest, my lip won't stop quivering and I'm shaking half the time.
Now at first glance, you'd think this is bad. "Oh no, is she sick? Does she need to see a doctor?"
No no no. I am feeling what I have longed to experience my entire life. What I have searched for, hunted down, and could never find without the abuse to add on.
Vic, for the first time, is in SUCH extreme topspace that she is looking to me like a true, honest to god Mistress. (For those of you who have no idea what topspace is, it's when you're in a dominant mode, within your head and out).
She hasn't tolerated any mishaps, and no longer puts up with me fighting. She is constantly in control of not only my physical body but my mind. She controls my emotions, my thoughts and wishes. All my life I have wanted this, and the only times I could find someone strong enough to control me, they were the abusive men. (Carlos, Rob, etc.)
She's making me shake, making me quiver. I get out of hand and She takes care of the situation immediately, immediately reminding me of my place in Her world. She will grab me by the hair and ask me "Who are you? (I answer Hilary) What are you? (I answer a submissive) To whom do you belong? (I answer You)" Then when I am done answering those questions, She asks me two more. "Who is in control? (I answer You are, my Lady) Who will REMAIN in control? (I answer, You will, my Lady).
I'm surprised She has yet to make Her questions more specific. I've often expected Her to ask me other questions as well. Things like "Who owns your body? Who owns your mind? Who owns your soul? Who do you serve? Do you serve Me? Will you obey Me?" These are other questions I've also often heard being asked of a submissive.
But who is a submissive, if she is expecting ANYTHING from Her Dom? One must never expect, but merely be ready for anything. As soon as I wake up, She's there, controlling my mind. Before I awoke, I sensed Her this morning, trying to probe my mind, trying to bring me out of my nightmare. She already knew I was having one. As soon as I awaken every morning now, She makes completely sure that I am aware of Her control over me.
Oh trust me, I am.
Getting shivers up my spine, a good burn in my chest, my lip won't stop quivering and I'm shaking half the time.
Now at first glance, you'd think this is bad. "Oh no, is she sick? Does she need to see a doctor?"
No no no. I am feeling what I have longed to experience my entire life. What I have searched for, hunted down, and could never find without the abuse to add on.
Vic, for the first time, is in SUCH extreme topspace that she is looking to me like a true, honest to god Mistress. (For those of you who have no idea what topspace is, it's when you're in a dominant mode, within your head and out).
She hasn't tolerated any mishaps, and no longer puts up with me fighting. She is constantly in control of not only my physical body but my mind. She controls my emotions, my thoughts and wishes. All my life I have wanted this, and the only times I could find someone strong enough to control me, they were the abusive men. (Carlos, Rob, etc.)
She's making me shake, making me quiver. I get out of hand and She takes care of the situation immediately, immediately reminding me of my place in Her world. She will grab me by the hair and ask me "Who are you? (I answer Hilary) What are you? (I answer a submissive) To whom do you belong? (I answer You)" Then when I am done answering those questions, She asks me two more. "Who is in control? (I answer You are, my Lady) Who will REMAIN in control? (I answer, You will, my Lady).
I'm surprised She has yet to make Her questions more specific. I've often expected Her to ask me other questions as well. Things like "Who owns your body? Who owns your mind? Who owns your soul? Who do you serve? Do you serve Me? Will you obey Me?" These are other questions I've also often heard being asked of a submissive.
But who is a submissive, if she is expecting ANYTHING from Her Dom? One must never expect, but merely be ready for anything. As soon as I wake up, She's there, controlling my mind. Before I awoke, I sensed Her this morning, trying to probe my mind, trying to bring me out of my nightmare. She already knew I was having one. As soon as I awaken every morning now, She makes completely sure that I am aware of Her control over me.
Oh trust me, I am.