Stupid brain. Stop with the stupid.
Well people, I did it. Today I finally bit the bullet, picked up the phone, spoke to total strangers and made not just one, but TWO appointments to try on big white/ivory/off-white/champagne dresses. And I'm actually (dare I say it?) excited about it.
Yay!
So, why the hesitation? Well, my brain was in a vicious cycle. The whole dress-buying process led me to think about who I would bring dress shopping. Which led me to think about the fact that I need to choose a wedding party. Which got me all frantic about choosing between friends. And wanting to include family, namely my cousin, but feeling stubbornly bitter about not being included in her wedding in any way. Ugh. My brain sure knows how to hold a grudge. Most of my girl friends have been in numerous weddings. I've heard the complaints about being in weddings, wearing an ugly bridesmaid dress, "having" to throw a shower, the slave labor, etc. Who knew that being a bridesmaid was such hard work--not I! On top of that, The Boy wants to keep the wedding party small, i.e. he wants a best man and that's it. Which I'm completely fine with. So, at this point anyway, what I'm thinking is asking my cousin to be my matron of honor. And then possibly having some honor attendants to help me out during the big day without being forced to buy matchy-matchy dresses and stand with me during the ceremony. My cousin will have had her first baby by then, so I don't expect that she'll be overly involved in planning, etc. And I'm not sure why any bride would expect her maid of honor OR bridesmaids to help with everything. Now, if they volunteer, that's another story. But I know that everyone has a life and doesn't want to spend hours upon hours studying the subtleties of wedding invitations. :D Anyway, that was my trauma. I think I'm over it now. But we're not quite ready to pick the bridal party just yet and I also feel like I can't invite The Boy's mom without his stepmom, or one grandma without the other and I don't want an entourage damnit! So it'll just be me and my mommy on this first shopping trip. I'm a silly girl sometimes.
And now I'm going to order sample pocketfold envelopes for the invitations. Whee!!!!
Yay!
So, why the hesitation? Well, my brain was in a vicious cycle. The whole dress-buying process led me to think about who I would bring dress shopping. Which led me to think about the fact that I need to choose a wedding party. Which got me all frantic about choosing between friends. And wanting to include family, namely my cousin, but feeling stubbornly bitter about not being included in her wedding in any way. Ugh. My brain sure knows how to hold a grudge. Most of my girl friends have been in numerous weddings. I've heard the complaints about being in weddings, wearing an ugly bridesmaid dress, "having" to throw a shower, the slave labor, etc. Who knew that being a bridesmaid was such hard work--not I! On top of that, The Boy wants to keep the wedding party small, i.e. he wants a best man and that's it. Which I'm completely fine with. So, at this point anyway, what I'm thinking is asking my cousin to be my matron of honor. And then possibly having some honor attendants to help me out during the big day without being forced to buy matchy-matchy dresses and stand with me during the ceremony. My cousin will have had her first baby by then, so I don't expect that she'll be overly involved in planning, etc. And I'm not sure why any bride would expect her maid of honor OR bridesmaids to help with everything. Now, if they volunteer, that's another story. But I know that everyone has a life and doesn't want to spend hours upon hours studying the subtleties of wedding invitations. :D Anyway, that was my trauma. I think I'm over it now. But we're not quite ready to pick the bridal party just yet and I also feel like I can't invite The Boy's mom without his stepmom, or one grandma without the other and I don't want an entourage damnit! So it'll just be me and my mommy on this first shopping trip. I'm a silly girl sometimes.
And now I'm going to order sample pocketfold envelopes for the invitations. Whee!!!!