(no subject)
I hate flat tires. If you've never had one, which many of you probably have not because a good deal many of you drive a little better than I do on most days, it sucks. Not that you couldn't have figured that one out. Ahh Noxema at midnight. So a real update: Rubbish at a lot of things. That girl at work that I hate? Well, it seems that she has topped me in sales, which doesn't really bother me except I hate her. And even worse she's up for a management position. Bah. Rubbish at my stupid car. Rubbish at The Strokes for right now. Hooray for The Dandy Warhols and this one song I have by Anberlin.
You know it's an incredibly weird, not necessarily bad, but weird, sensation to feel like you are so unconnected with so much. I recently had to do something that makes me feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. The wall completely disappeared for me and that's come as quite a shock. So many people have been talking to me lately about their own problems and it's a type of salvation to be able to hear and, if necessary, help someone else other than myself for once, but it's sort of, I daresay depressing thing also. I've become really good friends with some people that were never really that close to me, which is a blessing always. But for everything that is positive there is something negative that goes along with it, as we all know the laws of physics. And for these negative reactions in my life, I have been cold and not entirely open to any and all parties associated with me. For all of those who have gotten the wrong idea (if you think it may be you, it probably is) and even those who got the right idea, sorry for my part in the way things have ended up and how they got there. If you only understood how this is and has been tearing me up. Everything. I don't know what consolation, closure, whatever, this will bring to anyone, but I hope that it can help to explain something, anything of the recent past. I give up.
You know it's an incredibly weird, not necessarily bad, but weird, sensation to feel like you are so unconnected with so much. I recently had to do something that makes me feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. The wall completely disappeared for me and that's come as quite a shock. So many people have been talking to me lately about their own problems and it's a type of salvation to be able to hear and, if necessary, help someone else other than myself for once, but it's sort of, I daresay depressing thing also. I've become really good friends with some people that were never really that close to me, which is a blessing always. But for everything that is positive there is something negative that goes along with it, as we all know the laws of physics. And for these negative reactions in my life, I have been cold and not entirely open to any and all parties associated with me. For all of those who have gotten the wrong idea (if you think it may be you, it probably is) and even those who got the right idea, sorry for my part in the way things have ended up and how they got there. If you only understood how this is and has been tearing me up. Everything. I don't know what consolation, closure, whatever, this will bring to anyone, but I hope that it can help to explain something, anything of the recent past. I give up.