Dear Lauren,

[cubbybear89]

I've written this letter to you thousands of times in my head and finally today I feel like I can put it on paper. First let me say how deeply i miss you and love you. Your absence in my life has left such a vast void that nothing can fill or ease the pain. I understand how angry you are at me. I have to look at myself every day and know how badly

Comments

From Giselle

[sell_my_shoes]

Hey Cubby, it's Giselle.

I stumbled upon your journal somehow and felt compelled to read this. I know we haven't really kept in touch this past year and that our relationship in high school wasn't the same as the bond we had in middle school. However, I feel that even though I haven't known you as well as I would have liked to these past few years, a huge part of me misses the connection we used to have and wishes we could rekindle that because we had such an understanding of each other.

Reading your mother's letter really touched me because I knew your family for a number of years and saw many of the changes that occurred. I remember being jealous when I was at your house in the distant past and we'd watch videos or look at pictures of you and your family because it looked like you all were so close and everyone was always smiling. I remember going to Guitar Center with your padre and having conversations with your madre while she worked on your garden and these are nothing but fond memories. I remember your GOMS graduation party, Club Cub, downloading songs on Kazaa, watching Harry Potter movies on your computer, naming your kittens, "skateboarding", chilling in your orchards, going on trips, playing music with you, and so much more. These were some of the happiest times I can remember and I have have to offer is gratitude for these fond memories.

The way your mom described you -
... You were always friend to the underdog. "Lauren Horbal- friend to all". I was always so proud of you for not being a follower- you were never lead by popular opinion- you marched to your own drummer (so to speak)!
Truer words have never been spoken. My family, and I especially, have always admired you for what a genuinely good, kind person you are and you are so well-liked amongst not only your peers, but also everyone who knows you because of this.
Cubby, the way you describe yourself: Fucked up? You aren't. Really. To have gone through everything that you have (and I'm positive I don't know that half of it) takes an immensely strong person, and you have always been one of the strongest I've known. I'm sure you know the saying "That which doesn't kill us..."; Don't take those words with a grain of salt. You're not giving yourself enough credit.

Well, all I have to say is that if you want to talk to someone who knew you so many years ago - or, not even to talk (just to play music, to hang out, whatever) - I am here. I'm not sure if you still have my cell #, but it's 506-8546. I miss you and will be thinking of you. Ich bin en banane.

Re: From Giselle

[sell_my_shoes]

*Ich bin EIN banane

I am retarded doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo dooooo