(no subject)
whenever i think about staying at wellsprings i just dont really know what to do because...i cant stay for four years.
whenever i think about going to south i want to cry because i cant do homework...or i wouldnt want to so i just wouldnt...and everything would be mandatory and there would be tons of people...which i cant handle anymore. its kindof scary for me to even think about. i dont really like it.
then also in my real life i want to be friends with evan but i dont really know how because i dont think he wants to, but then again he wont really REALLY talk to me...so who knows. evan...if you read this...just know that i would like to be friends with you and id like to work on that...
i feel like i have a lot to learn about him. i know i have a lot to learn about myself. and right now im gonna quote dashboard connfessional lyrics "i am flawed, but im cleaning up so well...i am seeing in me now the things you swear you saw yourself."
noah is doing good at life in my opinion. lotus has this tendency to make "it" broke. so do i...but im getting better at it.
im getting better at a lot of things...like life...even though its not all so apparent on the surface. but im sure if somebody dug around inside my heart or my mind...theyd find a lot of new and surprising things that i too would most likely be surprised by.
im just awaiting stimulating conversation...or a miraculous day. but who am i kidding? everyday is jsut miraculous beyond belief...but most of us are jsut blind to the miracle. or dont want to see it.
im done being the "weak" one. i never was. but im ready to realize and begin to accept my power. i know its there and i know theres more that i realize now. im happy. i want to kill myself.
adeiu
whenever i think about going to south i want to cry because i cant do homework...or i wouldnt want to so i just wouldnt...and everything would be mandatory and there would be tons of people...which i cant handle anymore. its kindof scary for me to even think about. i dont really like it.
then also in my real life i want to be friends with evan but i dont really know how because i dont think he wants to, but then again he wont really REALLY talk to me...so who knows. evan...if you read this...just know that i would like to be friends with you and id like to work on that...
i feel like i have a lot to learn about him. i know i have a lot to learn about myself. and right now im gonna quote dashboard connfessional lyrics "i am flawed, but im cleaning up so well...i am seeing in me now the things you swear you saw yourself."
noah is doing good at life in my opinion. lotus has this tendency to make "it" broke. so do i...but im getting better at it.
im getting better at a lot of things...like life...even though its not all so apparent on the surface. but im sure if somebody dug around inside my heart or my mind...theyd find a lot of new and surprising things that i too would most likely be surprised by.
im just awaiting stimulating conversation...or a miraculous day. but who am i kidding? everyday is jsut miraculous beyond belief...but most of us are jsut blind to the miracle. or dont want to see it.
im done being the "weak" one. i never was. but im ready to realize and begin to accept my power. i know its there and i know theres more that i realize now. im happy. i want to kill myself.
adeiu