best toy ever!
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danny was going to bone some girl, so seth wanted to hide in his room while he did it. seth's plan was to pop out in the middle, or giggle, or something. he asked derrick to help shove him under danny's bed.
but his balls were catching on the bed, or something.
he was kind of stuck.
so he tried to climb into that suitcase next to danny's bed.
he didn't fit, so he tried to climb into that cabinet.
he fit nowhere, so he was very sad.
this' someone at work writing like a crazy. but is it josh or bertsch? i can't remember. boys?
these're two of the bruises seth gave me playing cheerio. seth is a dick. do not play cheerio with seth. i still have these bruises, and they're from that night we went to the uc. dog, help me get iron.
i can't stop wearing these boots. everyone loves them. erica at work told me they were beautiful, which i find to be a silly word for describing shoes. (these shoes are three-hundred fucking dollars.... let's get 'em!) logan said they're robinhood boots, which i don't understand. but everyone i tell that to says, "yeah, those are robinhood boots!"
that's right, "Curious George gets Chemo". derrick found this at wal-mart, framed. if you can figure it out, please, please rate me.
white trash night at t&t's! i wore dollar store fake nails. this is a picture like at the salon where girls are holding rolls of money and tea cups to showcase their nails. "chicken fingers with spicy club sauce!"
pregnant belly! bra hanging out! trashy disney boob tattoo! britney spears dress! white trash night? rate 10. epic win!
back of some engrished out batteries (topcell brand) which i bought at a crazy convenient store.
i've been wearing the pregnant belly to bars lately. i wore it to 7 eleven with joey and logan to get cigarettes and beer. i got an eighteen pack of coors light, then chose some cigarettes. me: "i want camels!"
logan: "you should name the baby camel...camel silver madden!"
me: "i want no. 9's, the pink one's, because it's a girl!"
joey: "you shouldn't be smoking!"
me: "shut up, joey! you're the one who got me into this mess in the first place!"
logan: lmao lol rofl
guy behind counter: OFFENDED!
that lady to the right was wearing this stupid "i'm a freaking bride" hat. so was her mom, and her dad. this is why i won't get married. getting married is for poor people.
blaine and i were playing the game, and we found this. then we found this:
super mole! derf!
i wore the pregnant belly to flip night at time out (see rachel's pics). it was amazing! i got to say, "i'm drinkin' for two!" one million times! brett even got to say it, and got yelled at by some old lady! she told him to watch out.
i played pool with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth, and joey "accidentally" hit me in the baby with the pool cue. rachel took pictures and said things like "baby's first pool game!" everyone looked so angry! people were whispering and double-taking all over the place!
some dummy girls saw my leftover cobra wrapped around an anchor tattoo from white trash night, and flipped out: "i love your tattoo! where'd you get it? we're from california! we're thinking of getting tattoos!" the tattoo's peeling off...because it's fake. i told them i'd just got it done, and that was skin peeling off. "yeah, it's a cobra wrapped around an anchor for my mother."
logan: "her mother's nickname is cobra."
me: "so, what do you guys think i should name this baby?"
dumb girls: "well, what's your last name?"
me: "...wiggins...." (remember, valerie!? samantha wiggins and melissa...?)
dumb girls: "maybe you should name it something that rhymes."
joey: "niggins!"
me: "chiggins!"
logan: lmaololrofl
oh, christ, best night ever!
i wore the belly for at least two hours. i finally took it off, and we ran into chelsea chester. i was pissed, because i totally would've tricked her into thinking i was preggers. i told her this, to which she replied, "you're the pregnant girl!? so many people have been talking about how there's this pregnant girl here drinking and smoking and playing pool!" that made me happier than just about anything ever.
we went to cottage pub. blaine tells me i stole logan's cigarettes and put them in blaine's pocket. i felt bad for this, and called logan to apologize. logan says he was going to give them to me anyway, so whatev's. i remember none of this.
when we left, i couldn't remember if we brought the pregnant belly. i swear i pulled over to make blaine and joey check the trunk, but they say i pulled over for them to tip a porta-potty. uhhhhh?
so, i guess joey ran his face into this porta-potty, and got back in the car with a bloody face nose. i popped the trunk for them; they popped a boner for me. they told me they'd checked the trunk and the preggers belly was not in it. so we drove back to cottage pub to check for the pregnant belly. it wasn't there because, surprise, surprise, it was in the trunk and blaine and joey are liars.
graduation (see first video up top). that girl heely-ing next to joey is aleutia in about thirty pounds. do not want! we brought so much contraband to graduation. it was silly.
derrick got a tattoo. i looked up from playing with my favorite boots to see this. hah!
brett's mom bought an ewok because mini brett's going to college. it fits in brett's pocket:
if i ever had a dog, i think i'd want this one. it is so small, but it packs a punch (see second video up top)!
now i want this tattoo. anyone who can tell me what it says gets bonus points! videos soon?