feeling mr. pithers
in case you were wondering what i do these days:
what is a girl to do on a day like today except go grocery shopping?
so on my return trip from the sous-side, i stopped in deluca's for some coffee and writing. dragged a few lines out of the air, filtered them through my head. do the coffee stains and syrup seem all that less productive on the page?
found the limits of my pack. the usual: bike lock, pump, notebook, couple extra flashers, loose change, the book of daily afflictions. managed to also cram in the grass i bought in the strip (the lemon kind), chunk of ginger, a couple avocados. full! and i've still got a pack of tomats, so i manage to tie them to the frame under my brake line. safe. is this what elephantitis feels like? in any case i know they will automatically eject prior to any collisions. ingenius! doesn't the prefix 'in' mean not?
this is for the letter j and the letter e
and all of you cyclists out there on the road today:
http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_scripts/cycling.txt
"It's funny how one can go through life, as I have, disliking bananas
and being indifferent to cheese, and then be able to eat, and enjoy, a
banana and cheese sandwich like that."
"What do *you* keep your hard-boiled eggs in? (No reaction)
I think in future I shall lash them to the handlebars with
adhesive tape. That should obviate a recurrence of the
same problem...well I can't stop here all day...must get
on...I'm on a cycling tour of Cornwall."
Gulliver: Do you know that in our laboratories we have produced a cheese
sandwich that can withstand an impact of 4,000 lbs per square inch?
Pither: Good heavens!
Gulliver: Amazing, isn't it? We have also developed a tomato which ejects
itself when an accident is imminent.
Pither: Even if it's inside am egg and tomato roll?
Gulliver: Anywhere! Even if it's in your stomach, and it senses an accident
it will come up your throat and out of the window. Do you realise
what this means?
Pither: Safer food?
Gulliver: Exactly! No longer will food be damaged, crushed or squashed by the
ignorance and stupidity of the driver! (Becoming slightly messianic)
Whole picnics will be built to survive the most enormous forces!
Snacks will be stronger than ever! An ordinary pot of salad cream,
treated in our laboratories, has been subjected to the force of a
9,000 lb steam hammer every day for the last 6 years. And has it
broken?
Pither: Er....
Gulliver: Yes, of course it has! But there are other things that haven't!....
the safety straps for sardines for instance.
(A tomato leaps up out of the glove compartment and hovers, then it ejects
itself out of the car window)
Pither: That tomato just ejected itself.
Gulliver: Really?
Pither: Yes.
Gulliver (embracing Pither): It works! It works!
(Crash and cut to black.)
what is a girl to do on a day like today except go grocery shopping?
so on my return trip from the sous-side, i stopped in deluca's for some coffee and writing. dragged a few lines out of the air, filtered them through my head. do the coffee stains and syrup seem all that less productive on the page?
found the limits of my pack. the usual: bike lock, pump, notebook, couple extra flashers, loose change, the book of daily afflictions. managed to also cram in the grass i bought in the strip (the lemon kind), chunk of ginger, a couple avocados. full! and i've still got a pack of tomats, so i manage to tie them to the frame under my brake line. safe. is this what elephantitis feels like? in any case i know they will automatically eject prior to any collisions. ingenius! doesn't the prefix 'in' mean not?
this is for the letter j and the letter e
and all of you cyclists out there on the road today:
http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_scripts/cycling.txt
"It's funny how one can go through life, as I have, disliking bananas
and being indifferent to cheese, and then be able to eat, and enjoy, a
banana and cheese sandwich like that."
"What do *you* keep your hard-boiled eggs in? (No reaction)
I think in future I shall lash them to the handlebars with
adhesive tape. That should obviate a recurrence of the
same problem...well I can't stop here all day...must get
on...I'm on a cycling tour of Cornwall."
Gulliver: Do you know that in our laboratories we have produced a cheese
sandwich that can withstand an impact of 4,000 lbs per square inch?
Pither: Good heavens!
Gulliver: Amazing, isn't it? We have also developed a tomato which ejects
itself when an accident is imminent.
Pither: Even if it's inside am egg and tomato roll?
Gulliver: Anywhere! Even if it's in your stomach, and it senses an accident
it will come up your throat and out of the window. Do you realise
what this means?
Pither: Safer food?
Gulliver: Exactly! No longer will food be damaged, crushed or squashed by the
ignorance and stupidity of the driver! (Becoming slightly messianic)
Whole picnics will be built to survive the most enormous forces!
Snacks will be stronger than ever! An ordinary pot of salad cream,
treated in our laboratories, has been subjected to the force of a
9,000 lb steam hammer every day for the last 6 years. And has it
broken?
Pither: Er....
Gulliver: Yes, of course it has! But there are other things that haven't!....
the safety straps for sardines for instance.
(A tomato leaps up out of the glove compartment and hovers, then it ejects
itself out of the car window)
Pither: That tomato just ejected itself.
Gulliver: Really?
Pither: Yes.
Gulliver (embracing Pither): It works! It works!
(Crash and cut to black.)