crying you a river
so i just found out another on of my friends died. I'm bumming right now. I didnt really know him that well, but still, its still really really sad. His name was Jamin.
When i found out, i went to the counsoling office and raven and zack were there, so i comforted them. while inside i really felt like just flying away and being by myself for a while. it made me feel better though, just talking to them ya know.
it made me think of sean, and david. I miss them so much. it really makes you miss them when you think that you'll never be able to see them again. it makes me sad.
i'm not the all american girl everyone thinks i am. i have feelings, and i need to express them somehow.
like when i was sitting in the parking lot of sally's/greenbacks/biglots... waiting for my mom and grandma to come back, paul called me and he was like.. whats wrong. i said nothing, and he kept trying to figure it out. I got really quiet, and then he said that he didnt want to push it, and i started to cry. then i told him, and he said he was sorry and the he wished he was there to comfort me. i wish he was too. when i'm like that, i just feel like, i dunno, i just feel bad. i told him exactly what i was feeling: scared. scared to get close to him, to anyone in that matter. because they all seem to die. i dunno. i'm just, i dunno. i hope he comes over tonight, i really need him. but i dunno... thats enough of my sob story, i'm sure nobody wants to read this. but call me if you have my number... talk to you later!! bye