fanfic100 080. Distortion
Title: Distortion
Fandom: House
Characters/Pairing: Dr. Greg House
Prompt: 080. Why?
Spoilers: No Reason
Word Count: 376
Rating: PG
Summary: House never listens to anyone, least of all people that don't exist.
Author's Notes: A semi-snarky coda to the season two finale.
When Moriarty starts talking to him about meaning and loneliness and whatever else he's prattling on about while he's trying to diagnose on the hospital wall, House briefly considers beating him with a bedpan. But that requires A) finding a bedpan, B) stopping his current diagnostic train of thought, and C) being sure this is not a hallucination, and he can't be bothered to do any of the above.
He doesn't really care why he got shot. The why is bullshit. It changes nothing. He had two bullets removed from him. Who cares why they were there? He was shot, and now he's here, why isn't going to give him a 'get out of ICU free' card.
If someone could tell him why he's hallucinating, then that would matter. He'd like to know why he's imagining Mexican restaurants and slugging his best friend. Granted, he likes tacos and he's sure Wilson's wanted to punch him a time or two, but the least he could do would be to hallucinate Carmen Electra or the destruction of the clinic and everyone in it. Not Cameron being as annoying as usual and Foreman with his head still wedged up his overly cheerful ass. If that's the best he can do, his hallucinations need some work.
House is interested in why he's losing his mind. Why his leg is doing better. Why his patient whom he suspects is not a real patient has a tongue swelling big enough to be used as an emergency raft.
He does not really care why this bitter and annoying middle-aged nuisance put two bullets in him. Frankly, he's sure many patients and half the doctors at Princeton-Plainsboro have imagined doing the same thing at one point or another. Nothing makes Moriarty particularly special. He's just the one who finally did it. And House doesn't care why and doesn't care what this guy thinks is wrong with him. If he wanted a shrink, Cuddy's offered to pay for one at least twice a month. He doesn't need a speech about the meaning of his life.
The only important why, he decides as he tries to do the differential on the glass wall, is why the idiot won't take a hint and shut the hell up.
Fandom: House
Characters/Pairing: Dr. Greg House
Prompt: 080. Why?
Spoilers: No Reason
Word Count: 376
Rating: PG
Summary: House never listens to anyone, least of all people that don't exist.
Author's Notes: A semi-snarky coda to the season two finale.
When Moriarty starts talking to him about meaning and loneliness and whatever else he's prattling on about while he's trying to diagnose on the hospital wall, House briefly considers beating him with a bedpan. But that requires A) finding a bedpan, B) stopping his current diagnostic train of thought, and C) being sure this is not a hallucination, and he can't be bothered to do any of the above.
He doesn't really care why he got shot. The why is bullshit. It changes nothing. He had two bullets removed from him. Who cares why they were there? He was shot, and now he's here, why isn't going to give him a 'get out of ICU free' card.
If someone could tell him why he's hallucinating, then that would matter. He'd like to know why he's imagining Mexican restaurants and slugging his best friend. Granted, he likes tacos and he's sure Wilson's wanted to punch him a time or two, but the least he could do would be to hallucinate Carmen Electra or the destruction of the clinic and everyone in it. Not Cameron being as annoying as usual and Foreman with his head still wedged up his overly cheerful ass. If that's the best he can do, his hallucinations need some work.
House is interested in why he's losing his mind. Why his leg is doing better. Why his patient whom he suspects is not a real patient has a tongue swelling big enough to be used as an emergency raft.
He does not really care why this bitter and annoying middle-aged nuisance put two bullets in him. Frankly, he's sure many patients and half the doctors at Princeton-Plainsboro have imagined doing the same thing at one point or another. Nothing makes Moriarty particularly special. He's just the one who finally did it. And House doesn't care why and doesn't care what this guy thinks is wrong with him. If he wanted a shrink, Cuddy's offered to pay for one at least twice a month. He doesn't need a speech about the meaning of his life.
The only important why, he decides as he tries to do the differential on the glass wall, is why the idiot won't take a hint and shut the hell up.