fanfic100: Roundabout
Title: Roundabout
Fandom: House
Character: Dr. Greg House
Prompt: 044. Circle.
Word Count: 512
Rating: PG
Spoilers: "Meaning," "Cain and Able"
Summary: It seems like the last few months have been a vicious circle.
Author's Notes: Reflection on the first two episodes of season three. Slightly ironic that I'm writing this while listening to the song that I'm listening to.
The steady thump of the cane on the floor seems to echo even louder than before, taunting him in some sense, that the sound is back, will always be there, can't be escaped. That it's always going to be there. That the cane will always be there. That he couldn't run forever.
The pun is even more annoying than it normally is.
Greg House is no idiot. He knows that there's no miracle cure for an infarction. The large gaping hole in his leg wasn't just going to heal itself up, no matter what coma they put him in. He's always known that nothing will undo the damage of having a large portion of dead thigh muscle removed. Medically, he had to know that there was always a chance. That it was more than just a chance.
But Greg House is also just a man, a jealous, selfish, sometimes desperate, always hurting, human being, and he was inclined to hope, however cynically. Inclined to enjoy, for however long, the break that fate had cut him. Skateboarding and being checked out by college students and running eight miles just because he can. It was worth it, just to be able to do those things again, even if only for a little while.
He knew his time was running out when he saw the bloodstain still on the carpet.
When he got the case wrong, that it turns out now, he didn't get wrong at all.
Wilson was right about him. Of course Wilson was right, he's known him for years. House hadn't changed. House doesn't change. This has never been about the cases or about some enlightening or whatever they want to think that it's about. It was about him, trying to take what he could get. To live a life without pain, after having lived his whole life for the last ten years in pain.
He had his chance, and he took it.
And now his chance is gone, and he's right back where he started from. Is he wiser? Is he better off? Maybe in time he'll think about that. Maybe in time, when it stops hurting so much, and he stops feeling so fucked over. When the pain goes away.
The pain will never go away.
The one thing House thinks as he drags himself to bed is that whoever said it was better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, is a fucking moron.
Fandom: House
Character: Dr. Greg House
Prompt: 044. Circle.
Word Count: 512
Rating: PG
Spoilers: "Meaning," "Cain and Able"
Summary: It seems like the last few months have been a vicious circle.
Author's Notes: Reflection on the first two episodes of season three. Slightly ironic that I'm writing this while listening to the song that I'm listening to.
The steady thump of the cane on the floor seems to echo even louder than before, taunting him in some sense, that the sound is back, will always be there, can't be escaped. That it's always going to be there. That the cane will always be there. That he couldn't run forever.
The pun is even more annoying than it normally is.
Greg House is no idiot. He knows that there's no miracle cure for an infarction. The large gaping hole in his leg wasn't just going to heal itself up, no matter what coma they put him in. He's always known that nothing will undo the damage of having a large portion of dead thigh muscle removed. Medically, he had to know that there was always a chance. That it was more than just a chance.
But Greg House is also just a man, a jealous, selfish, sometimes desperate, always hurting, human being, and he was inclined to hope, however cynically. Inclined to enjoy, for however long, the break that fate had cut him. Skateboarding and being checked out by college students and running eight miles just because he can. It was worth it, just to be able to do those things again, even if only for a little while.
He knew his time was running out when he saw the bloodstain still on the carpet.
When he got the case wrong, that it turns out now, he didn't get wrong at all.
Wilson was right about him. Of course Wilson was right, he's known him for years. House hadn't changed. House doesn't change. This has never been about the cases or about some enlightening or whatever they want to think that it's about. It was about him, trying to take what he could get. To live a life without pain, after having lived his whole life for the last ten years in pain.
He had his chance, and he took it.
And now his chance is gone, and he's right back where he started from. Is he wiser? Is he better off? Maybe in time he'll think about that. Maybe in time, when it stops hurting so much, and he stops feeling so fucked over. When the pain goes away.
The pain will never go away.
The one thing House thinks as he drags himself to bed is that whoever said it was better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, is a fucking moron.