Still Holding Out For You
Title: Still Holding Out For You
Fandom: 24
Characters: Brittany House, Jake Hannigan
Word Count: 1074
Rating: PG
Summary: Some things a heart won't listen to.
Author's Notes: Inspired by the song "Still Holding Out For You" by SheDaisy. A look at how Brittany and Jake's relationship might change now that they are no longer competitors -- something that's always been a vital part of how they interact with one another.
He doesn't make a sound as he walks up behind her on what could be any afternoon. Her husband's playing lacrosse with people half his age. And she's standing there, still in full dress clothes, looking down at their infant son, something like a year old, sleeping peacefully under his mother's watch.
Jake simultaneously wants no part of this and hates her for having it.
He comes to stand beside her, his six foot two shadow towering over her, and she cocks her head to look at him. He's thirty-seven now, and she can see the lines of age on his face. The calculated distance in his eyes. Their blue meets her brown, and he can see the weight lifted off her shoulders, but the sadness that never really left.
You have to give up something to get something.
"Hey," she says softly, keeping her eyes on her husband.
Jake decides that's a safe place to be looking himself. He doesn't return her greeting, merely says, "Who told him this was a good idea?" It's the kind of half-humorous insult she would expect from him. There don't seem to be enough of them in his life anymore.
"It's what he wants to do. Let him do it, while he has the chance," she explains. "He's happy, and that's what matters the most to me. He's getting a chance to do things he'd never thought he'd do again."
"That makes two of us. Or three of us," he says, nodding slightly in her direction. Another long pause, before he looks away to look down at her. He's always been physically looking down at her, but he hasn't looked mentally down at her in a long time. "You happy?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am." She shoves her hands in her pockets and nods slightly. "I'm learning. It's not much, but it's a start. I'm ready for the long haul." Ten years or more; she's twenty-eight and just starting out, and it'll be years before she gets anywhere near the prominence she used to have. "It's hard, sometimes, but you know, I think I did the right thing. Getting home to tuck him in at night."
Another pregnant pause, her chewing on her lower lip. "I couldn't have gotten even this far without you."
Without his begrudging advice. Without the long conversations about the sport and the way the game is played. Without the twice-weekly basketball games that got her in shape and pounded into her head just what kind of lark she was getting into. He put the reality behind her dream, because he'd been there.
Jake doesn't answer her. He doesn't like taking compliments.
"You know, I'm the only man in your life who made no sense at all," he says after a moment, while performing an intense study of the well manicured grass.
Brittany gives him a look. She swallows, and her fingers go to the chain of the medallion around her neck, fingering it gently while she debates whether or not to tell him this. They could not be more different. In two more years, she'll be thirty, a wife, a mother, a teacher. He'll be heading for forty, a bachelor, a soldier. They disagree more often than anything else. Yet, they see each other in ways they never wanted to. Never thought they could. And now, couldn't do without.
"I used to be pretty close to somebody," she says after a moment. "You remember Detective McCarron, from Los Angeles? He and I have known each other for five years or so now. He used to push me, just like you'd push me. He was always there to help me work things out. He understood the difficult parts of me, just like you do. Difference between you two, is you did for spite, he did it for love." A pause. "He loved me, and I loved him."
Jake is looking at her interestingly now, and Brittany meets his eyes.
"But I'm not ever gonna get him back again, Jake. He's on the other side of the country. He has to be there and I have to be here. And because of that, our relationship isn't gonna be the same again. Hasn't been for a long time." She purses her lips, shaking her head. "That's where you come in. You were for me what he was. What I needed. No matter what, when it mattered, you've been there for me. You don't have to like me, but you got me through. You made perfect sense."
There's another long moment of silence. She takes a step toward him, but he can't bring himself to move. Even as he processes her words -- that he can mean as much to her as McCarron obviously meant to her -- he has to ask the difficult question. "And now?" he says. "What happens now, that you don't need me anymore?"
Brittany circles around the stroller. She turns her attention from her husband. In that one moment, the only person in the world is Jake Hannigan. She wants him to hear this loud and clear, because she's only going to say this once.
"Just because I don't need you," she says, "I still want you."
An outstretched hand, a hopeful look in her eyes. No one's ever looked at him like that in a long time. Like they actually care if he comes around again. The eyes don't lie. It takes a lot for him to swallow his pride and the past, but he takes her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and holding on tight, because he's too scared to let go.
But he doesn't have to tell her he's afraid. She already knows, and she understands, and hell, maybe she's a little afraid, too.
"I need you to stay," he says quietly, turning his attention back to the field because he can't admit that to her face.
She just looks on into the distance. "I will if you will."
He gives her a silent, almost imperceptible nod. There's nothing that he needs to say or needs to hear to make him understand. To make her believe. They're going to be in two different worlds, and maybe they'll drift apart over time, but she promised she wouldn't let go, and she's keeping her promise. And she wants him to keep his.
He's never had a problem with keeping his promises. He's just glad somebody else wants to keep theirs.
Fandom: 24
Characters: Brittany House, Jake Hannigan
Word Count: 1074
Rating: PG
Summary: Some things a heart won't listen to.
Author's Notes: Inspired by the song "Still Holding Out For You" by SheDaisy. A look at how Brittany and Jake's relationship might change now that they are no longer competitors -- something that's always been a vital part of how they interact with one another.
He doesn't make a sound as he walks up behind her on what could be any afternoon. Her husband's playing lacrosse with people half his age. And she's standing there, still in full dress clothes, looking down at their infant son, something like a year old, sleeping peacefully under his mother's watch.
Jake simultaneously wants no part of this and hates her for having it.
He comes to stand beside her, his six foot two shadow towering over her, and she cocks her head to look at him. He's thirty-seven now, and she can see the lines of age on his face. The calculated distance in his eyes. Their blue meets her brown, and he can see the weight lifted off her shoulders, but the sadness that never really left.
You have to give up something to get something.
"Hey," she says softly, keeping her eyes on her husband.
Jake decides that's a safe place to be looking himself. He doesn't return her greeting, merely says, "Who told him this was a good idea?" It's the kind of half-humorous insult she would expect from him. There don't seem to be enough of them in his life anymore.
"It's what he wants to do. Let him do it, while he has the chance," she explains. "He's happy, and that's what matters the most to me. He's getting a chance to do things he'd never thought he'd do again."
"That makes two of us. Or three of us," he says, nodding slightly in her direction. Another long pause, before he looks away to look down at her. He's always been physically looking down at her, but he hasn't looked mentally down at her in a long time. "You happy?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am." She shoves her hands in her pockets and nods slightly. "I'm learning. It's not much, but it's a start. I'm ready for the long haul." Ten years or more; she's twenty-eight and just starting out, and it'll be years before she gets anywhere near the prominence she used to have. "It's hard, sometimes, but you know, I think I did the right thing. Getting home to tuck him in at night."
Another pregnant pause, her chewing on her lower lip. "I couldn't have gotten even this far without you."
Without his begrudging advice. Without the long conversations about the sport and the way the game is played. Without the twice-weekly basketball games that got her in shape and pounded into her head just what kind of lark she was getting into. He put the reality behind her dream, because he'd been there.
Jake doesn't answer her. He doesn't like taking compliments.
"You know, I'm the only man in your life who made no sense at all," he says after a moment, while performing an intense study of the well manicured grass.
Brittany gives him a look. She swallows, and her fingers go to the chain of the medallion around her neck, fingering it gently while she debates whether or not to tell him this. They could not be more different. In two more years, she'll be thirty, a wife, a mother, a teacher. He'll be heading for forty, a bachelor, a soldier. They disagree more often than anything else. Yet, they see each other in ways they never wanted to. Never thought they could. And now, couldn't do without.
"I used to be pretty close to somebody," she says after a moment. "You remember Detective McCarron, from Los Angeles? He and I have known each other for five years or so now. He used to push me, just like you'd push me. He was always there to help me work things out. He understood the difficult parts of me, just like you do. Difference between you two, is you did for spite, he did it for love." A pause. "He loved me, and I loved him."
Jake is looking at her interestingly now, and Brittany meets his eyes.
"But I'm not ever gonna get him back again, Jake. He's on the other side of the country. He has to be there and I have to be here. And because of that, our relationship isn't gonna be the same again. Hasn't been for a long time." She purses her lips, shaking her head. "That's where you come in. You were for me what he was. What I needed. No matter what, when it mattered, you've been there for me. You don't have to like me, but you got me through. You made perfect sense."
There's another long moment of silence. She takes a step toward him, but he can't bring himself to move. Even as he processes her words -- that he can mean as much to her as McCarron obviously meant to her -- he has to ask the difficult question. "And now?" he says. "What happens now, that you don't need me anymore?"
Brittany circles around the stroller. She turns her attention from her husband. In that one moment, the only person in the world is Jake Hannigan. She wants him to hear this loud and clear, because she's only going to say this once.
"Just because I don't need you," she says, "I still want you."
An outstretched hand, a hopeful look in her eyes. No one's ever looked at him like that in a long time. Like they actually care if he comes around again. The eyes don't lie. It takes a lot for him to swallow his pride and the past, but he takes her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and holding on tight, because he's too scared to let go.
But he doesn't have to tell her he's afraid. She already knows, and she understands, and hell, maybe she's a little afraid, too.
"I need you to stay," he says quietly, turning his attention back to the field because he can't admit that to her face.
She just looks on into the distance. "I will if you will."
He gives her a silent, almost imperceptible nod. There's nothing that he needs to say or needs to hear to make him understand. To make her believe. They're going to be in two different worlds, and maybe they'll drift apart over time, but she promised she wouldn't let go, and she's keeping her promise. And she wants him to keep his.
He's never had a problem with keeping his promises. He's just glad somebody else wants to keep theirs.