(no subject)
God, I shouldn't have done this, but it's frigging hilarious. I tried the Drabble-Matic. I hate doing this to my dear "Eames Team"(what I call Eames/Goren), but after I did this I had to post it.
Fandom: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Pairing: Eames/Goren
Genre: Er....Supernatural? I think.
I changed a few things to make it a little easier to read. The metaphor at the end is entirely mine. I'm so proud. It's so funny. i gotta go do some morre. If you want I'll post them here, but try your own, it's exactly like MadLibs. Did a second one, NCIS this time. I don't know how to edit existing ljcuts so its at the end of the first one.
Doggedly Tripping
Alex Eames tripped along lustfully. She was on her way to meet her lover, Bobby Goren, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a squirrel hopping along, carrying a badge in its mouth.
Alex was almost at the library when she came across a handsome cake, lying alone on a beautiful plate. "That must be a treat from my puffy bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked tangerine, so she ate it.
It gave her the most callous tingling sensation in her ring finger. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Bobby.
When Bobby came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Alex cried hungrily.
"Your fingernail! And your left ear!" Bobby said. "They're fast! Can't you feel it?"
Alex felt her fingernail and her left ear. They were indeed quite fast. "Oh, no!" Alex said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that handsome cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Bobby said. "I got you a buldge. It must have been that rat-like man who lives nearby. He acts a little thankfully, ever since he touched a door."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Alex sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Bobby said constipatedly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your fingernail is really damp like that."
"Really?" Alex dried his tears. Alex Eames kissed Bobby Goren and it was an entirely superflous sensation, like a fire burning brightly on the hearth on a winter's eve.
They spent the night having entirely superflous sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Tony/Ziva
Genre: WTF?
The Battle For The Smoke Detector
On the kitchen counter, Tony clipped his smoke detector. He had been busy with the smoke detector for hours and now wanted nothing more than a waif-like cuddle or a crinkly massage from his lover Ziva.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his flakey Ziva appeared at the door, grinning curtly.
"Put down the smoke detector," Ziva said faintly. "Unless you want me to clip that smoke detector on your right eyebrow."
Tony put down the smoke detector. He was fine. He had never seen Ziva so crispy before and it made him sticky.
Ziva picked up the smoke detector, then withdrew a bottle from her third nipple. "Don't be so fine," Ziva said with a crispy grimace. "A giraffe bit my knee this morning, and everything became moist. Now with this smoke detector and this bottle I can faintly rule the world!"
Tony clutched his blue knee frankly. This was his lover, his flakey Ziva, now staring at him with a crispy third nipple.
"Fight it!" Tony shouted. "The giraffe just wants the smoke detector for his own flakey devices! He doesn't love you, not the waif-like way I do!"
Tony could see Ziva trembling frankly. Tony reached out his right eyebrow and touched Ziva's third nipple faintly. He was flakey, so flakey, but he knew only his blue love for Ziva would break the giraffe's spell.
Sure enough, Ziva dropped the smoke detector with a thunk. "Oh, Tony," she squealed. "I'm so waif-like, can you ever forgive me?"
But Tony had already moved on the kitchen counter. Like the night wind whistles through the trees in late autumn, he pressed his right eyebrow into Ziva's third nipple. And as they fell together in a moist fit of love, the smoke detector lay on the floor, sticky and forgotten.
Fandom: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Pairing: Eames/Goren
Genre: Er....Supernatural? I think.
I changed a few things to make it a little easier to read. The metaphor at the end is entirely mine. I'm so proud. It's so funny. i gotta go do some morre. If you want I'll post them here, but try your own, it's exactly like MadLibs. Did a second one, NCIS this time. I don't know how to edit existing ljcuts so its at the end of the first one.
Doggedly Tripping
Alex Eames tripped along lustfully. She was on her way to meet her lover, Bobby Goren, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a squirrel hopping along, carrying a badge in its mouth.
Alex was almost at the library when she came across a handsome cake, lying alone on a beautiful plate. "That must be a treat from my puffy bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked tangerine, so she ate it.
It gave her the most callous tingling sensation in her ring finger. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Bobby.
When Bobby came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Alex cried hungrily.
"Your fingernail! And your left ear!" Bobby said. "They're fast! Can't you feel it?"
Alex felt her fingernail and her left ear. They were indeed quite fast. "Oh, no!" Alex said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that handsome cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Bobby said. "I got you a buldge. It must have been that rat-like man who lives nearby. He acts a little thankfully, ever since he touched a door."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Alex sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Bobby said constipatedly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your fingernail is really damp like that."
"Really?" Alex dried his tears. Alex Eames kissed Bobby Goren and it was an entirely superflous sensation, like a fire burning brightly on the hearth on a winter's eve.
They spent the night having entirely superflous sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Tony/Ziva
Genre: WTF?
The Battle For The Smoke Detector
On the kitchen counter, Tony clipped his smoke detector. He had been busy with the smoke detector for hours and now wanted nothing more than a waif-like cuddle or a crinkly massage from his lover Ziva.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his flakey Ziva appeared at the door, grinning curtly.
"Put down the smoke detector," Ziva said faintly. "Unless you want me to clip that smoke detector on your right eyebrow."
Tony put down the smoke detector. He was fine. He had never seen Ziva so crispy before and it made him sticky.
Ziva picked up the smoke detector, then withdrew a bottle from her third nipple. "Don't be so fine," Ziva said with a crispy grimace. "A giraffe bit my knee this morning, and everything became moist. Now with this smoke detector and this bottle I can faintly rule the world!"
Tony clutched his blue knee frankly. This was his lover, his flakey Ziva, now staring at him with a crispy third nipple.
"Fight it!" Tony shouted. "The giraffe just wants the smoke detector for his own flakey devices! He doesn't love you, not the waif-like way I do!"
Tony could see Ziva trembling frankly. Tony reached out his right eyebrow and touched Ziva's third nipple faintly. He was flakey, so flakey, but he knew only his blue love for Ziva would break the giraffe's spell.
Sure enough, Ziva dropped the smoke detector with a thunk. "Oh, Tony," she squealed. "I'm so waif-like, can you ever forgive me?"
But Tony had already moved on the kitchen counter. Like the night wind whistles through the trees in late autumn, he pressed his right eyebrow into Ziva's third nipple. And as they fell together in a moist fit of love, the smoke detector lay on the floor, sticky and forgotten.