Fic: Lovers and Secret Worlds (1/2) - REVERSEBANG 2012
Title: Lovers and Secret Worlds - REVERSEBANG 2012
Artist: annaophelia
Author: ctrlofwhatido // controlofwhatido
Rating: Art: G // Fic: NC-17
Word Count: 12,800
Summary: Set in 1910s New England, Blaine Anderson is home from college for the summer and intends on spending his summer months riding his horses with his friends around the Anderson estate. He definitely doesn’t expect to fall for their new stable hand, who doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with him.
Author's Note: My first thank you goes to my artist, because without her, this wouldn’t exist. Thank you for creating a piece that inspired me to write this. A million and one thanks to Jenny (dahlstrom/colfer). Without her, this would certainly not be what it is now. She held my hand through it, and cleaned it up rather nicely with her beta. Thank you to Nikki (facethefall/face_the_fall) for your uplifting cheering section when I needed it. :) I tried to keep it as true to the time period as possible, but I did take some liberties here and there. This was written for the kbl_reversebang challenge 2012.
Link to art: Tumblr // Deviant Art
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As soon as Blaine steps out of the car, he is immediately greeted by an armful of best friend and can barely see through the massive amount of black hair blowing around his face.
“Santana! It’s been so long, I’ve missed you!”
He’s exhausted from the train ride and the always bumpy car ride, but still has strength in him to hold her up and spin her around, because it has been too long since he has held her in his arms.
“Look at you, my big college man. Never stay away that long again, ya hear?” She drops to the ground and holds him at arm’s length, looking him over. “Damn, you look good.”
Blaine shakes his head and turns to grab his suitcases from the back of the car. “Santana, such language for a lady.”
“Oh, let me, Mr. Anderson. I will bring these up to your room, if you please?”
Blaine smiles at Brittany and nods, knowing he’ll have to readjust to having people wait on him hand and foot. He had become used to doing everything for himself while he was away. “Thank you, Brittany. I’d like to unpack those myself. If you could just put them in my room, I’d appreciate it.”
She curtsies and reaches for the suitcases. “Anything you need, Mr. Anderson. I could prepare some lemonade for you and Miss Lopez, too?”
Blaine arches an eyebrow at Santana in question and she shrugs.
“We’ll have it out on the patio, Brittany. Blaine has had a long day and I’m sure he’s tired, thank you,” Santana says and grabs hold of Blaine’s elbow. “C’mon, I need to hear all about what’s happened since your last letter.”
Blaine lets himself to be tugged up toward the patio and hears Rory swear behind him as he tries to get the car going again. It isn’t the easiest machine - Blaine is just glad he doesn’t have to deal with it often. He prefers horses much more; he can hear his own in the distance and his whole being aches with how much he’s missed them.
“Oh, I can see it in your face, we’ll go riding first thing tomorrow morning, you’ll fall flat on your ass with how tired you are if we go out now,” Santana laughs and pushes him down by the shoulders into the closest chair.
He shakes his head and crosses his left leg over his right. “Be happy my parents aren’t home yet, San. If they heard words like those coming from your mouth you’d never be allowed over here again. I think my mother would pass out from fright.”
Santana waves her hand in dismissal. “Oh, your mother loves me. I’m a perfect lady around her. Anyways,” she drops her voice and leans forward, “who else would you get to gossip about boys with?”
Blaine looks around to make sure no one was in earshot and pushes her away. “Santana!” She’s the only one that knows his secret, the only one he trusts. At school he tries to keep himself so busy that he doesn’t have much time to think about it, because there is no there for him to be completely honest with. There probably never will be. He shakes his head and looks up when Brittany approaches them with a tray of lemonade. “Thank you, Brittany. Would you like to join us?” He immediately knows she won’t, but he always likes to try, just in case.
Brittany sets the tray down and shakes her head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t. I need to head down to the stables to help Kurt in a few moments, anyway. Have a pleasant afternoon Mr. Anderson, Miss Lopez.”
Blaine watches her walk away and turns to pour Santana a glass first, before himself. “Kurt? Did we get a new stable hand? What happened to Burt? My parents never mentioned anything in their letters.”
Santana takes the glass from him, sipping before nodding. “Kurt is Burt’s son, from what I gather. I’ve only heard gossip from Brittany, but she said Burt had fallen ill, and Kurt has been taken care of your precious horses for a few months now.”
“Oh,” Blaine says. “That’s awful. I hope he’s not terribly ill? Burt and I got along well. He never spoke of a son, though.”
Smiling, Santana sets her glass down and taps her fingers in a steady rhythm on her leg. “I’ve only seen Kurt on the grounds once, but I’m sure you’ll appreciate him, if you know what I mean.”
Blaine sputters, barely able to keep himself from choking on the lemonade he had just sipped.
“Oh, Blaine, it’s so easy to ruffle your feathers,” she laughs. “Don’t worry, I’ll be a good girl, I promise. Now, tell me. Any good news to tell? Don’t leave out any details. Your letters are always so cryptic and casual.”
Blaine sets his glass down. “That’s because my roommates are nosy assholes - pardon my language, m’lady,” he snorts. “I’ll tell you everything when we ride down to the lake tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to be interrupted by my parents, I’m sure Rory will be back with them any moment now.”
Santana nods and stands, brushing her hands against her slacks. “That’s is my cue to leave. Nothing like a droll Anderson family reunion to bore me to death. I’ll come fetch you bright and early, and we can see if you even remember how to ride, yeah?”
He can forgo his manners with Santana, so he stays in his chair and gives her a tiny wave. “I’m sure Warbler will be more than happy to see me, and you know you’d be welcome at dinner, San. I’d love to have you there, keep me from trying to entertain my parents with college stories.”
She leans over and kisses his temple, and he can smell her perfume - a scent he missed terribly while he was away. “As appealing as that sounds, I’ll pass. I have my own family dinner to attend, and I’m sure you’d hear my grandmother shouting from here if I missed it. Tomorrow, Blaine. We’ll ride all day, soak up some sun, and you will tell me your stories.”
~~~
Blaine wakes up far too early and dresses in his riding gear. He knows he has some time before Santana shows, but he is eager to see his horses again.
He whistles happily as he walks swiftly down to the stables. A soft breeze whips past him and the sweet scent of lilacs fills his senses. It is so good to be home. He loves school - he knows he is supremely lucky to be getting such an education - but he misses his friends and long days at the lake with his horses.
He hears a wonderful sound as he approaches the stables - someone is singing, and it’s magical. Music is something he rarely hears at home unless he is the one playing it, but this voice, goodness, this voice - Blaine must find out who it belongs to. He quickens his step and rounds the corner of the building, almost tripping over his own feet when he finds the source of the sound.
The boy Blaine sees looks like an angel. The morning light is shining in through the roof and lighting his hair just so, and since the boy hasn’t noticed Blaine yet he is still singing. Blaine feels something bubble up inside him that he really has never felt before.
Santana has always been trustworthy with her knowledge of his…leanings. But it has almost always been an abstract feeling - until now. He leans against the wood and prays that the boy doesn’t notice him yet, because he wants to keep listening. The boy’s voice his high and unlike anything he’s ever heard before, but it’s mesmerizing.
He feels silly and slightly uncomfortable just watching this boy (oh, this is…Kurt? Was that what Santana had said the new stable hand’s name was?) but he can’t seem to make his presence known. He watches as Kurt brushes Shortcake and continues to sing with his back to Blaine, his hips swaying slightly with the song.
He has to turn away, just has to. He rolls his body against the stable so he’s leaning against the outside wall and breathes hard. Kurt is still singing - has finished one song and started another - and Blaine has to close his eyes to steady himself.
He hasn’t even seen Kurt’s face and he’s already overcome with feelings he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Before he has time to really think about anything, he hears footsteps approaching and knows they’re Santana’s. He turns his head and holds up his finger to his mouth in a quieting gesture, so she doesn’t ruin the moment. He still wants to listen to Kurt.
She quirks an eyebrow but stays quiet, brushes a quick kiss against his cheek and leans against the wall beside him. He grasps her hand and leans his head against her shoulder until Kurt finishes his song. Then he’s suddenly being tugged into the stables by his hand and wants to curse at Santana for being so bold, but before he can open his mouth he’s face to face with - oh.
Possibly the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen - he’s even more beautiful from the front, and Blaine has to remind himself to breathe.
“Good morning, Kurt,” Santana says with a tug on Blaine’s hand.
Kurt nods his head in a bow and smiles. “Good morning, ma’am, sir.”
Blaine finally finds his voice and shakes his head. “None of that, please. This is Santana Lopez and my name is Blaine Anderson - very nice to meet you, Kurt.”
“Of course, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt nods. He glances around. “I can saddle your horse, if you’d just let me know which one is yours, please.”
Santana drops Blaine’s hand and whips her hair into a neat ponytail to keep her hair out of her face as she rides. “That won’t be necessary, Kurt. Blaine here always gets Warbler ready by himself - he’s an annoying little prick -“
“Santana!”
“Oh hush, shorty,” Santana waves him off. “Like I was saying, Blaine likes to do everything he can. You could get Starshine ready for me, though. And the Euro saddle is mine, mind you.”
“Sure thing, Miss Lopez,” Kurt nods and turns to head toward the supplies.
Blaine can’t even allow himself to follow Kurt with his eyes, or look at Santana right now. Instead, he walks over to Warbler and smiles widely. “Hey boy,” he says softly. “Missed you.” He laughs when Warbler flicks his head at him and he reaches up to soothe him. “Ready to ride? I sure am.”
He distracts himself by preparing Warbler for their ride; the entire process feels calming and familiar. When he’s in the saddle at last, Blaine closes his eyes briefly to take in the feeling. He loves all of his horses, but Warbler is, and always has been, his. Most of the others have been unofficially adopted by his friends, since they ride them so often during the summers.
“Race you, Anderson,” Santana calls from atop Starshine and Blaine signals for Warbler to move.
He takes one last look back at Kurt - who has his back to them - before he follows Santana out of the stables. He wants to say something to Kurt, something witty to make him laugh or at least smile, but words are failing him again. And too soon Warbler has walked him out of Kurt’s hearing range, so Blaine urges the horse to start into a trot.
“Someone has a crush,” Santana sing-songs as Starshine trots alongside Warbler. “I told you you’d appreciate him.”
Blaine rolls his eyes and hangs his head. “I don’t even know him.”
“Eyes up, shorty,” Santana scolds. “You looked like a lovesick puppy back there, don’t think I didn’t notice.”
Blaine doesn’t even bother with responding and just lets his body rise along with the rhythm of Warbler’s trot. It feels so good to be riding again. He wants to take Warbler into a full gallop, but he knows that it has been a while since Warbler has had such an exercise and he’ll need some warming up - something Blaine can save for another day.
They reach the lake at the edge of the Anderson property and Blaine stays on Warbler for a few moments to just take it all in again. This is his sanctuary, where he has spent most of his summers, and where he can’t wait to spend all of this summer - surrounded by his friends, of course.
“Are you going to sit up there all day or are you going to join me and relax in the sun?”
“It’s quiet without the others,” Blaine says before patting Warbler’s neck and dismounting. He ties him to the same post with Starshine and walks over to where Santana is already sprawled out on the grass. “But it’ll be nice to just have some time with you for a week, before everyone else comes home.”
Santana reaches out for him and pulls him down on the grass beside her; he lands with a soft oof. “Beautiful day,” he sighs and leans his head on her shoulder. “Almost warm enough to swim.”
“Nick and Jeff would already be in the water, complaining about their gonads freezing off,” she laughs and cards her fingers through his hair. “Silly boys.”
Blaine nods and closes his eyes. He loves that he can be himself completely around Santana - no expectations to be an Anderson Man, no frills, no nothing - he can just be Blaine. “So,” he says softly, with a hint of a smile, “Kurt is pretty handsome, right?”
Santana pushes him off and laughs loud and clear. “I knew it! Lordy, I knew you’d think so!”
~~~
Blaine doesn’t get to hear Kurt sing again for the rest of the week, much to his dismay. He even approaches the stables quietly every morning in hopes to catch him unaware, but Kurt is always quiet. Blaine can’t seem to get more than a few words out of him, either.
He rides with Santana every day, each day a little longer than the one before. Santana is an excellent rider - almost good as he is - which she should be, since he taught her everything he knows. They always end up at the lake, sprawled out in the grass, talking about anything and everything. It won’t be so peaceful once the rest of their friends return home, so Blaine tries to soak up as much time with her as he can, while he can.
By the weekend, he knows he’s on his own because Santana always has family obligations. He eats breakfast with his parents and waits to hear if he’s needed for anything important before he heads down to the stables again.
He’s not surprised when there’s no sign of Kurt - Burt always took light days on the weekends, too - but he can’t help feel a slight pang of sadness because he almost had his hopes up to try to finally talk to Kurt alone.
He saddles up and mounts Warbler with ease, the routine fast and familiar to him. After a decent warm up, he signals Warbler into a full gallop and takes off toward the well beaten path around the estate.
Riding is easy, something he can do without thinking. He lets his body flow with the movements of the gallop, keeps his legs tight against Warbler’s middle, and holds the reins steady in his hands. His thoughts stray to Kurt - the brief moments of time he’d been able to see him every morning. His excitement at just seeing Kurt grew stronger with each passing day.
How could he feel such a way after only meeting him a mere week ago? And barely speaking to him, at that?
Blaine just feels drawn to Kurt, like he needs to know more about him. He doesn’t want to scare Kurt off - of course not. He knows how to act around boys that please his eyes, so he doesn’t give away his secret. Even though he hardly knows Kurt, he certainly feels more for him than he ever has for any other boy.
He gets so lost in his thoughts about Kurt he doesn’t even realize that he has come back around to the stables. He quickly dismounts Warbler and nuzzles his head, brushes his hand along his neck and takes a deep breath.
“Welcome back, Mr. Anderson. Would you like me to care for Warbler while you go up for lunch?”
Blaine jumps at the sound and turns toward Kurt. He wants to insist that Kurt call him by his first name but if there’s one thing he’s learned over the years, it’s that he can insist all he wants - it’ll never happen. Also, his parents would throw a fit.
“No, no, of course not,” Blaine says, finally finding his voice. “I’ll get him settled back in.” When Kurt starts to walk away Blaine bites his lip. “You - you could help me, though? Keep me company? I mean, I just - “
Kurt turns back and looks at Blaine with wide, curious eyes. Finally, he nods and starts toward the stable door. “Of course, Mr. Anderson.”
Blaine hadn’t wanted it to seem like an order, or a request, but Kurt is already preparing water for Warbler by the time Blaine walks in with him. “So, um. Nice day?” Blaine rolls his eyes at himself as soon as he’s spoken.
Kurt looks up from where he’s unbuckling the saddle on Warbler and nods. “Yes, rather nice weather. I have been able to get a lot of work done this week.”
Blaine is usually never at a loss for words but Kurt is making him flustered. He takes a deep breath to steel himself and waits until he has pulled the bridle off Warbler before he tries again. “How is your father doing?”
“Oh, um,” Kurt says softly as he turns to toss the saddle over the divider. “He’s recovering, thank you. Still not well enough to return to work. My step-mother fears he may never fully recover - but I am fully capable of accomplishing all of his tasks, Mr. Anderson.”
“No that’s - that’s not why I was asking, Kurt,” Blaine says, trying to see Kurt over Warbler. “Burt and I got along; I have been genuinely concerned about his well-being.”
“I will let him know that you asked,” Kurt nods. His eyes flick around and Blaine has to hold back his gasp when he sees just how well the light of the sun intensifies their color. “If you don’t mind, sir. If we’re almost finished - I am supposed to meet Brittany for lunch.”
Blaine shakes his head. “No of course not, go ahead. And please, I know you aren’t comfortable calling me Blaine, but please, you needn’t call me sir. We look to be the same age, and I truly hate it.”
Kurt smiles and Blaine feels his knees wobble, because it is the first time he has ever seen him with such a look on his face - and it is beautiful.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Anderson. Have a good day.”
Blaine feels his heart clench painfully in his chest when he watches Kurt walk away. That smile - that smile! - Blaine knows he will be walking on air all day. He starts to whistle as he finishes with Warbler, taking extra care as he brushes because he can, and he just can’t stop grinning.
He made Kurt smile.
~~~
Blaine is trying to stifle his laughter behind his hand but is failing miserably. It’s just too funny - watching Santana and Sugar together again. He is positive that Kurt must think they’re all crazy.
“You are not a princess, just throw your damn leg up and over and mount up.”
Sugar huffs and slams her hands on her hips. “No, Daddy had steps specially made for me, and that is the only - the only way I will do this, Santana. You know that.”
Blaine looks over at Jeff and Nick, both already up on their horses, and shakes his head. He walks over to Sugar and holds out his hand. “Would the lady like an assist?”
Sugar beams and grasps Blaine’s hand. “Now here’s a real gentleman, unlike you two dingbats!”
“Hey!” Nick and Jeff both cry.
“Now that is something I can actually agree with Sugar on,” Santana nods and hauls herself up on Starshine. She points her finger between Nick and Jeff. “You two are dingbats.”
Blaine is helping Sugar up onto Shortcake when Kurt clears his throat behind him. Blaine whips around so fast he almost pulls Sugar off her stairs - he would’ve, if he hadn’t dropped her hand just in time.
Kurt looks at him with startled eyes. “Uh, Mr. Anderson - I was just going to ask, if you and the rest of your party needed anything else? Before I tend to other things.”
If Blaine could make all his friends disappear right in that moment, he would. As it is, Jeff and Nick are poking at each other and they’re both lucky they have well trained horses. Santana is walking Starshine out of the stables and Sugar is still standing on her stairs, waiting.
“Oh, no, we’re all set, thank you, Kurt,” is all he can think to say. He feels his heart beat a little faster when Kurt nods in his direction before he leaves the stables. It takes him a moment to direct his attention back to Sugar.
~~~
Blaine holds Santana against his chest, her wet hair soaking his bare skin. He settles his chin on her shoulder and smiles at his friends. It is so good to have everyone home. The sun beats down against his back and he knows his skin will be quite a bit darker by the time summer is over.
“So, you must tell me, how are the girls looking around Harvard, Blaine?”
Blaine takes a small breath - he is used to talking about girls, used to joining in with his roommates in conversations about the fairer sex - but this time, Santana saves him the trouble of coming up with a lie.
“Nick, first of all, girls look the same around Harvard as they do around Yale, I would assume - and secondly, stop asking Blaine that question when I’m around, it’s not polite.”
Blaine smiles and brushes a kiss against her temple. He’ll thank her later, but he knows she knows. Sugar laughs at something Jeff says and leans back on her elbows, closing her eyes in the sun.
“Daddy doesn’t know I go swimming with three boys, I’m sure he’d have all of your necks if he found out,” she smiles and twirls her toes in the grass.
“Sugar,” Nick says and throws a stick at Jeff’s hair, “you’ve been swimming with us for years - how does he still not know?”
“Oh,” she giggles and flips her pigtails around. “He knows I go horseback riding at the Andersons, but I don’t tell him I get scantily clad with boys - what would he think!”
Santana snorts and shakes her chest a little in Blaine’s arms. “Heaven forbid you show your tits a little, Motta.”
“We don’t mind!” Nick and Jeff cheer.
“Such language, dear,” Blaine drawls and rolls his eyes. He leans sideways and pulls Santana with him, almost dropping them in the grass before pulling her back up right again. “Shall we dress and head back? Or is anyone up for a race around the property? The horses should be warmed up for that, I would think.”
“Oh, race, for sure,” Nick grins and bounces up to his feet. “I am definitely feeling it in my bones that I can finally beat you this time, Anderson.”
“Right,” Blaine shakes his head. “In your dreams.”
~~~
In a rare twist, Blaine manages to have a day free of all of his friends. He loves them dearly and is so glad to have all of them home again, but he has seen so little of Kurt since they arrived. He wants to try to strike up a real conversation, try to get to know him - because Kurt has been on his mind almost constantly.
Kurt wasn’t there when Blaine took Warbler out - probably because Blaine was up as the sun was rising - he really loves to ride as the light is coming through the trees and just warming the earth. He rides until he sweats through his riding clothes and he knows Warbler is due for a break. His head feels clear and his body refreshed - he feels like he could sing ballads all day.
In fact, he is happily singing to himself as he brushes Warbler when he is almost startled out of his skin by Kurt’s voice.
“If I may, you sing really well.”
His heart leaps into his throat and he feels as if he has to swallow it down before he can speak - he hadn’t even heard Kurt approach, he had been so caught up in caring for Warbler and his song. “Th-thank you. You do, too.”
Kurt’s eyes widen and he takes a quick step backward. “You’ve heard me sing, Mr. Anderson?”
“I - yes, the first day we met? You were singing as I walked down here - your voice, it’s remarkable,” Blaine says, and he furrows his eyebrows when Kurt takes another step away from him. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, I,” Kurt says and diverts his eyes to Shortcake. He reaches up to pet her neck. “No one has heard me sing since - well, no matter. I should get going. I have other chores to do.”
“Wait,” Blaine says and almost reaches out for Kurt. Suddenly all he wants to do is wrap Kurt up in his arms and maybe kiss him but he knows he can’t do that - could never do that. Kurt would never want that, of course not. He thinks maybe Kurt is with Brittany and that’s okay, Blaine can keep his longings and desires to himself. He just needs to work on his self-control. “You don’t have to rush away all the time. I would like it very much... if we could be friends?”
“Friends,” Kurt says slowly, seeming to roll the word around in his mouth as if it is a foreign substance. He ducks his head when Shortcake nudges him. “No, I don’t think so, Mr. Anderson.”
Blaine cocks his head to the side. Has he been too obvious? Surely if he had been, Kurt would’ve told his father and then - oh, he doesn’t want to think about that. He blinks rapidly to try to clear that thought and works his mouth to try to fix things before they spiral out of control. “I don’t mean any - I would just like to get to know you, Kurt.”
“It’s not that easy, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt shakes his head and moves away from Shortcake. “You’re, well - you’re you. And I’m me. As I said, I have chores to do. Have a good day,” he nods his head and exits the stable.
“Kurt,” Blaine tries but it is too late. He understands what Kurt is trying to say but he has never seen it that way. Has never wanted to. He isn’t close with Rory or Brittany or any of the other staff but he has had lengthy conversations with both of them on multiple occasions. Being around Kurt does funny things to his insides - he knows he’ll never know what Kurt smells like, or feels like, or tastes like, but he would love to just sit next to him and talk. He could live on that. Yeah, he could.
~~~
Blaine tugs his drawers up a little higher as he walks out of the lake, the cloth is plastered to his legs and his entire body is dripping with water. He shakes his hair and lets out a shout. “Damn, that feels good!”
Santana laughs and kicks out her feet. “If you get me wet, I swear - you’ll pay, Anderson.”
“So modest,” Blaine laughs, and flops down on the blanket beside her. He tucks one hand behind his head and looks over at her. “I think I’ve seen more of your body than any boy at school ever even dreams of seeing of a girl until he’s married.”
“That’s because,” she huffs as she turns around, one arm carelessly covering her bare breasts to spare her nipples from the sun, “It’s more comfortable this way and I know you don’t like tits. Now let’s talk - how is it with the sexy stable boy?”
Blaine sighs and closes his eyes. He wants to feel frustrated, but he knows it’s not Kurt’s fault. “He barely speaks to me, and he is so busy with his chores that I hardly see him unless he is helping all of us get ready for our morning ride.”
If possible, he has seen less of Kurt than before he had asked for friendship. He hopes he didn’t completely scare Kurt off - he understands this time of year is busy around the estate. He only sees Rory and a few of the others in passing. Of course he sees Brittany every morning and every evening - he sighs again. “I think he’s with someone - Brittany.”
Santana lets out a loud bark of laughter and she hits him in the arm. “You dingbat, don’t you see? He’s not with Brittany, I promise you.”
Blaine opens his eyes again and squints at her, rubbing over the spot on his arm where she slapped him. “How could you possibly know? You don’t talk to him - wait, do you?”
“What? No,” she sighs and rolls back over on her stomach. She folds her arms and lays her head on her arms, facing him. “Blaine - Brittany is, she’s with me. Kurt and Brittany are to each other what we are to each other,” she bites her lip and looks at the grass. “Do you understand?”
“San,” he says softly and reaches out to touch her back. “Why - why didn’t you ever tell me? You know I wouldn’t - you know I would’ve been okay with it.”
She nods and Blaine can see tears shining in her eyes, something he rarely has seen, if ever. “I know, and I should’ve told you. Especially since you trusted me, but it’s new and I’m scared, Blaine, I’m so scared.”
“Hey,” he croaks, and pauses to clear his throat. He pulls her into his arms and doesn’t even think about how her bare breasts are pressed up against his bare chest because none of that matters right now. She is holding him tight and sniffling quietly. “San, it’s okay.” He runs his fingers through her hair and kisses the top of her head. “You - you and Brittany are being safe?”
She nods and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “We - Kurt knows, he helps us spend time together. Blaine, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“So, he um,” Blaine swallows hard and tries to collect his thoughts. He feels as if his world has been suddenly tossed sideways and he feels dizzy. “He knows? And he - he is okay with it? With you and Brittany being,” he pauses and licks his lips, “together?”
“Blaine,” she says, and lifts her head up so she is looking into his eyes. “I think maybe that Kurt is like us. Brittany thinks so; he has never said anything to either one of us. But I think, maybe just so.”
Part Two
Artist: annaophelia
Author: ctrlofwhatido // controlofwhatido
Rating: Art: G // Fic: NC-17
Word Count: 12,800
Summary: Set in 1910s New England, Blaine Anderson is home from college for the summer and intends on spending his summer months riding his horses with his friends around the Anderson estate. He definitely doesn’t expect to fall for their new stable hand, who doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with him.
Author's Note: My first thank you goes to my artist, because without her, this wouldn’t exist. Thank you for creating a piece that inspired me to write this. A million and one thanks to Jenny (dahlstrom/colfer). Without her, this would certainly not be what it is now. She held my hand through it, and cleaned it up rather nicely with her beta. Thank you to Nikki (facethefall/face_the_fall) for your uplifting cheering section when I needed it. :) I tried to keep it as true to the time period as possible, but I did take some liberties here and there. This was written for the kbl_reversebang challenge 2012.
Link to art: Tumblr // Deviant Art
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As soon as Blaine steps out of the car, he is immediately greeted by an armful of best friend and can barely see through the massive amount of black hair blowing around his face.
“Santana! It’s been so long, I’ve missed you!”
He’s exhausted from the train ride and the always bumpy car ride, but still has strength in him to hold her up and spin her around, because it has been too long since he has held her in his arms.
“Look at you, my big college man. Never stay away that long again, ya hear?” She drops to the ground and holds him at arm’s length, looking him over. “Damn, you look good.”
Blaine shakes his head and turns to grab his suitcases from the back of the car. “Santana, such language for a lady.”
“Oh, let me, Mr. Anderson. I will bring these up to your room, if you please?”
Blaine smiles at Brittany and nods, knowing he’ll have to readjust to having people wait on him hand and foot. He had become used to doing everything for himself while he was away. “Thank you, Brittany. I’d like to unpack those myself. If you could just put them in my room, I’d appreciate it.”
She curtsies and reaches for the suitcases. “Anything you need, Mr. Anderson. I could prepare some lemonade for you and Miss Lopez, too?”
Blaine arches an eyebrow at Santana in question and she shrugs.
“We’ll have it out on the patio, Brittany. Blaine has had a long day and I’m sure he’s tired, thank you,” Santana says and grabs hold of Blaine’s elbow. “C’mon, I need to hear all about what’s happened since your last letter.”
Blaine lets himself to be tugged up toward the patio and hears Rory swear behind him as he tries to get the car going again. It isn’t the easiest machine - Blaine is just glad he doesn’t have to deal with it often. He prefers horses much more; he can hear his own in the distance and his whole being aches with how much he’s missed them.
“Oh, I can see it in your face, we’ll go riding first thing tomorrow morning, you’ll fall flat on your ass with how tired you are if we go out now,” Santana laughs and pushes him down by the shoulders into the closest chair.
He shakes his head and crosses his left leg over his right. “Be happy my parents aren’t home yet, San. If they heard words like those coming from your mouth you’d never be allowed over here again. I think my mother would pass out from fright.”
Santana waves her hand in dismissal. “Oh, your mother loves me. I’m a perfect lady around her. Anyways,” she drops her voice and leans forward, “who else would you get to gossip about boys with?”
Blaine looks around to make sure no one was in earshot and pushes her away. “Santana!” She’s the only one that knows his secret, the only one he trusts. At school he tries to keep himself so busy that he doesn’t have much time to think about it, because there is no there for him to be completely honest with. There probably never will be. He shakes his head and looks up when Brittany approaches them with a tray of lemonade. “Thank you, Brittany. Would you like to join us?” He immediately knows she won’t, but he always likes to try, just in case.
Brittany sets the tray down and shakes her head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t. I need to head down to the stables to help Kurt in a few moments, anyway. Have a pleasant afternoon Mr. Anderson, Miss Lopez.”
Blaine watches her walk away and turns to pour Santana a glass first, before himself. “Kurt? Did we get a new stable hand? What happened to Burt? My parents never mentioned anything in their letters.”
Santana takes the glass from him, sipping before nodding. “Kurt is Burt’s son, from what I gather. I’ve only heard gossip from Brittany, but she said Burt had fallen ill, and Kurt has been taken care of your precious horses for a few months now.”
“Oh,” Blaine says. “That’s awful. I hope he’s not terribly ill? Burt and I got along well. He never spoke of a son, though.”
Smiling, Santana sets her glass down and taps her fingers in a steady rhythm on her leg. “I’ve only seen Kurt on the grounds once, but I’m sure you’ll appreciate him, if you know what I mean.”
Blaine sputters, barely able to keep himself from choking on the lemonade he had just sipped.
“Oh, Blaine, it’s so easy to ruffle your feathers,” she laughs. “Don’t worry, I’ll be a good girl, I promise. Now, tell me. Any good news to tell? Don’t leave out any details. Your letters are always so cryptic and casual.”
Blaine sets his glass down. “That’s because my roommates are nosy assholes - pardon my language, m’lady,” he snorts. “I’ll tell you everything when we ride down to the lake tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to be interrupted by my parents, I’m sure Rory will be back with them any moment now.”
Santana nods and stands, brushing her hands against her slacks. “That’s is my cue to leave. Nothing like a droll Anderson family reunion to bore me to death. I’ll come fetch you bright and early, and we can see if you even remember how to ride, yeah?”
He can forgo his manners with Santana, so he stays in his chair and gives her a tiny wave. “I’m sure Warbler will be more than happy to see me, and you know you’d be welcome at dinner, San. I’d love to have you there, keep me from trying to entertain my parents with college stories.”
She leans over and kisses his temple, and he can smell her perfume - a scent he missed terribly while he was away. “As appealing as that sounds, I’ll pass. I have my own family dinner to attend, and I’m sure you’d hear my grandmother shouting from here if I missed it. Tomorrow, Blaine. We’ll ride all day, soak up some sun, and you will tell me your stories.”
~~~
Blaine wakes up far too early and dresses in his riding gear. He knows he has some time before Santana shows, but he is eager to see his horses again.
He whistles happily as he walks swiftly down to the stables. A soft breeze whips past him and the sweet scent of lilacs fills his senses. It is so good to be home. He loves school - he knows he is supremely lucky to be getting such an education - but he misses his friends and long days at the lake with his horses.
He hears a wonderful sound as he approaches the stables - someone is singing, and it’s magical. Music is something he rarely hears at home unless he is the one playing it, but this voice, goodness, this voice - Blaine must find out who it belongs to. He quickens his step and rounds the corner of the building, almost tripping over his own feet when he finds the source of the sound.
The boy Blaine sees looks like an angel. The morning light is shining in through the roof and lighting his hair just so, and since the boy hasn’t noticed Blaine yet he is still singing. Blaine feels something bubble up inside him that he really has never felt before.
Santana has always been trustworthy with her knowledge of his…leanings. But it has almost always been an abstract feeling - until now. He leans against the wood and prays that the boy doesn’t notice him yet, because he wants to keep listening. The boy’s voice his high and unlike anything he’s ever heard before, but it’s mesmerizing.
He feels silly and slightly uncomfortable just watching this boy (oh, this is…Kurt? Was that what Santana had said the new stable hand’s name was?) but he can’t seem to make his presence known. He watches as Kurt brushes Shortcake and continues to sing with his back to Blaine, his hips swaying slightly with the song.
He has to turn away, just has to. He rolls his body against the stable so he’s leaning against the outside wall and breathes hard. Kurt is still singing - has finished one song and started another - and Blaine has to close his eyes to steady himself.
He hasn’t even seen Kurt’s face and he’s already overcome with feelings he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Before he has time to really think about anything, he hears footsteps approaching and knows they’re Santana’s. He turns his head and holds up his finger to his mouth in a quieting gesture, so she doesn’t ruin the moment. He still wants to listen to Kurt.
She quirks an eyebrow but stays quiet, brushes a quick kiss against his cheek and leans against the wall beside him. He grasps her hand and leans his head against her shoulder until Kurt finishes his song. Then he’s suddenly being tugged into the stables by his hand and wants to curse at Santana for being so bold, but before he can open his mouth he’s face to face with - oh.
Possibly the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen - he’s even more beautiful from the front, and Blaine has to remind himself to breathe.
“Good morning, Kurt,” Santana says with a tug on Blaine’s hand.
Kurt nods his head in a bow and smiles. “Good morning, ma’am, sir.”
Blaine finally finds his voice and shakes his head. “None of that, please. This is Santana Lopez and my name is Blaine Anderson - very nice to meet you, Kurt.”
“Of course, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt nods. He glances around. “I can saddle your horse, if you’d just let me know which one is yours, please.”
Santana drops Blaine’s hand and whips her hair into a neat ponytail to keep her hair out of her face as she rides. “That won’t be necessary, Kurt. Blaine here always gets Warbler ready by himself - he’s an annoying little prick -“
“Santana!”
“Oh hush, shorty,” Santana waves him off. “Like I was saying, Blaine likes to do everything he can. You could get Starshine ready for me, though. And the Euro saddle is mine, mind you.”
“Sure thing, Miss Lopez,” Kurt nods and turns to head toward the supplies.
Blaine can’t even allow himself to follow Kurt with his eyes, or look at Santana right now. Instead, he walks over to Warbler and smiles widely. “Hey boy,” he says softly. “Missed you.” He laughs when Warbler flicks his head at him and he reaches up to soothe him. “Ready to ride? I sure am.”
He distracts himself by preparing Warbler for their ride; the entire process feels calming and familiar. When he’s in the saddle at last, Blaine closes his eyes briefly to take in the feeling. He loves all of his horses, but Warbler is, and always has been, his. Most of the others have been unofficially adopted by his friends, since they ride them so often during the summers.
“Race you, Anderson,” Santana calls from atop Starshine and Blaine signals for Warbler to move.
He takes one last look back at Kurt - who has his back to them - before he follows Santana out of the stables. He wants to say something to Kurt, something witty to make him laugh or at least smile, but words are failing him again. And too soon Warbler has walked him out of Kurt’s hearing range, so Blaine urges the horse to start into a trot.
“Someone has a crush,” Santana sing-songs as Starshine trots alongside Warbler. “I told you you’d appreciate him.”
Blaine rolls his eyes and hangs his head. “I don’t even know him.”
“Eyes up, shorty,” Santana scolds. “You looked like a lovesick puppy back there, don’t think I didn’t notice.”
Blaine doesn’t even bother with responding and just lets his body rise along with the rhythm of Warbler’s trot. It feels so good to be riding again. He wants to take Warbler into a full gallop, but he knows that it has been a while since Warbler has had such an exercise and he’ll need some warming up - something Blaine can save for another day.
They reach the lake at the edge of the Anderson property and Blaine stays on Warbler for a few moments to just take it all in again. This is his sanctuary, where he has spent most of his summers, and where he can’t wait to spend all of this summer - surrounded by his friends, of course.
“Are you going to sit up there all day or are you going to join me and relax in the sun?”
“It’s quiet without the others,” Blaine says before patting Warbler’s neck and dismounting. He ties him to the same post with Starshine and walks over to where Santana is already sprawled out on the grass. “But it’ll be nice to just have some time with you for a week, before everyone else comes home.”
Santana reaches out for him and pulls him down on the grass beside her; he lands with a soft oof. “Beautiful day,” he sighs and leans his head on her shoulder. “Almost warm enough to swim.”
“Nick and Jeff would already be in the water, complaining about their gonads freezing off,” she laughs and cards her fingers through his hair. “Silly boys.”
Blaine nods and closes his eyes. He loves that he can be himself completely around Santana - no expectations to be an Anderson Man, no frills, no nothing - he can just be Blaine. “So,” he says softly, with a hint of a smile, “Kurt is pretty handsome, right?”
Santana pushes him off and laughs loud and clear. “I knew it! Lordy, I knew you’d think so!”
~~~
Blaine doesn’t get to hear Kurt sing again for the rest of the week, much to his dismay. He even approaches the stables quietly every morning in hopes to catch him unaware, but Kurt is always quiet. Blaine can’t seem to get more than a few words out of him, either.
He rides with Santana every day, each day a little longer than the one before. Santana is an excellent rider - almost good as he is - which she should be, since he taught her everything he knows. They always end up at the lake, sprawled out in the grass, talking about anything and everything. It won’t be so peaceful once the rest of their friends return home, so Blaine tries to soak up as much time with her as he can, while he can.
By the weekend, he knows he’s on his own because Santana always has family obligations. He eats breakfast with his parents and waits to hear if he’s needed for anything important before he heads down to the stables again.
He’s not surprised when there’s no sign of Kurt - Burt always took light days on the weekends, too - but he can’t help feel a slight pang of sadness because he almost had his hopes up to try to finally talk to Kurt alone.
He saddles up and mounts Warbler with ease, the routine fast and familiar to him. After a decent warm up, he signals Warbler into a full gallop and takes off toward the well beaten path around the estate.
Riding is easy, something he can do without thinking. He lets his body flow with the movements of the gallop, keeps his legs tight against Warbler’s middle, and holds the reins steady in his hands. His thoughts stray to Kurt - the brief moments of time he’d been able to see him every morning. His excitement at just seeing Kurt grew stronger with each passing day.
How could he feel such a way after only meeting him a mere week ago? And barely speaking to him, at that?
Blaine just feels drawn to Kurt, like he needs to know more about him. He doesn’t want to scare Kurt off - of course not. He knows how to act around boys that please his eyes, so he doesn’t give away his secret. Even though he hardly knows Kurt, he certainly feels more for him than he ever has for any other boy.
He gets so lost in his thoughts about Kurt he doesn’t even realize that he has come back around to the stables. He quickly dismounts Warbler and nuzzles his head, brushes his hand along his neck and takes a deep breath.
“Welcome back, Mr. Anderson. Would you like me to care for Warbler while you go up for lunch?”
Blaine jumps at the sound and turns toward Kurt. He wants to insist that Kurt call him by his first name but if there’s one thing he’s learned over the years, it’s that he can insist all he wants - it’ll never happen. Also, his parents would throw a fit.
“No, no, of course not,” Blaine says, finally finding his voice. “I’ll get him settled back in.” When Kurt starts to walk away Blaine bites his lip. “You - you could help me, though? Keep me company? I mean, I just - “
Kurt turns back and looks at Blaine with wide, curious eyes. Finally, he nods and starts toward the stable door. “Of course, Mr. Anderson.”
Blaine hadn’t wanted it to seem like an order, or a request, but Kurt is already preparing water for Warbler by the time Blaine walks in with him. “So, um. Nice day?” Blaine rolls his eyes at himself as soon as he’s spoken.
Kurt looks up from where he’s unbuckling the saddle on Warbler and nods. “Yes, rather nice weather. I have been able to get a lot of work done this week.”
Blaine is usually never at a loss for words but Kurt is making him flustered. He takes a deep breath to steel himself and waits until he has pulled the bridle off Warbler before he tries again. “How is your father doing?”
“Oh, um,” Kurt says softly as he turns to toss the saddle over the divider. “He’s recovering, thank you. Still not well enough to return to work. My step-mother fears he may never fully recover - but I am fully capable of accomplishing all of his tasks, Mr. Anderson.”
“No that’s - that’s not why I was asking, Kurt,” Blaine says, trying to see Kurt over Warbler. “Burt and I got along; I have been genuinely concerned about his well-being.”
“I will let him know that you asked,” Kurt nods. His eyes flick around and Blaine has to hold back his gasp when he sees just how well the light of the sun intensifies their color. “If you don’t mind, sir. If we’re almost finished - I am supposed to meet Brittany for lunch.”
Blaine shakes his head. “No of course not, go ahead. And please, I know you aren’t comfortable calling me Blaine, but please, you needn’t call me sir. We look to be the same age, and I truly hate it.”
Kurt smiles and Blaine feels his knees wobble, because it is the first time he has ever seen him with such a look on his face - and it is beautiful.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Anderson. Have a good day.”
Blaine feels his heart clench painfully in his chest when he watches Kurt walk away. That smile - that smile! - Blaine knows he will be walking on air all day. He starts to whistle as he finishes with Warbler, taking extra care as he brushes because he can, and he just can’t stop grinning.
He made Kurt smile.
~~~
Blaine is trying to stifle his laughter behind his hand but is failing miserably. It’s just too funny - watching Santana and Sugar together again. He is positive that Kurt must think they’re all crazy.
“You are not a princess, just throw your damn leg up and over and mount up.”
Sugar huffs and slams her hands on her hips. “No, Daddy had steps specially made for me, and that is the only - the only way I will do this, Santana. You know that.”
Blaine looks over at Jeff and Nick, both already up on their horses, and shakes his head. He walks over to Sugar and holds out his hand. “Would the lady like an assist?”
Sugar beams and grasps Blaine’s hand. “Now here’s a real gentleman, unlike you two dingbats!”
“Hey!” Nick and Jeff both cry.
“Now that is something I can actually agree with Sugar on,” Santana nods and hauls herself up on Starshine. She points her finger between Nick and Jeff. “You two are dingbats.”
Blaine is helping Sugar up onto Shortcake when Kurt clears his throat behind him. Blaine whips around so fast he almost pulls Sugar off her stairs - he would’ve, if he hadn’t dropped her hand just in time.
Kurt looks at him with startled eyes. “Uh, Mr. Anderson - I was just going to ask, if you and the rest of your party needed anything else? Before I tend to other things.”
If Blaine could make all his friends disappear right in that moment, he would. As it is, Jeff and Nick are poking at each other and they’re both lucky they have well trained horses. Santana is walking Starshine out of the stables and Sugar is still standing on her stairs, waiting.
“Oh, no, we’re all set, thank you, Kurt,” is all he can think to say. He feels his heart beat a little faster when Kurt nods in his direction before he leaves the stables. It takes him a moment to direct his attention back to Sugar.
~~~
Blaine holds Santana against his chest, her wet hair soaking his bare skin. He settles his chin on her shoulder and smiles at his friends. It is so good to have everyone home. The sun beats down against his back and he knows his skin will be quite a bit darker by the time summer is over.
“So, you must tell me, how are the girls looking around Harvard, Blaine?”
Blaine takes a small breath - he is used to talking about girls, used to joining in with his roommates in conversations about the fairer sex - but this time, Santana saves him the trouble of coming up with a lie.
“Nick, first of all, girls look the same around Harvard as they do around Yale, I would assume - and secondly, stop asking Blaine that question when I’m around, it’s not polite.”
Blaine smiles and brushes a kiss against her temple. He’ll thank her later, but he knows she knows. Sugar laughs at something Jeff says and leans back on her elbows, closing her eyes in the sun.
“Daddy doesn’t know I go swimming with three boys, I’m sure he’d have all of your necks if he found out,” she smiles and twirls her toes in the grass.
“Sugar,” Nick says and throws a stick at Jeff’s hair, “you’ve been swimming with us for years - how does he still not know?”
“Oh,” she giggles and flips her pigtails around. “He knows I go horseback riding at the Andersons, but I don’t tell him I get scantily clad with boys - what would he think!”
Santana snorts and shakes her chest a little in Blaine’s arms. “Heaven forbid you show your tits a little, Motta.”
“We don’t mind!” Nick and Jeff cheer.
“Such language, dear,” Blaine drawls and rolls his eyes. He leans sideways and pulls Santana with him, almost dropping them in the grass before pulling her back up right again. “Shall we dress and head back? Or is anyone up for a race around the property? The horses should be warmed up for that, I would think.”
“Oh, race, for sure,” Nick grins and bounces up to his feet. “I am definitely feeling it in my bones that I can finally beat you this time, Anderson.”
“Right,” Blaine shakes his head. “In your dreams.”
~~~
In a rare twist, Blaine manages to have a day free of all of his friends. He loves them dearly and is so glad to have all of them home again, but he has seen so little of Kurt since they arrived. He wants to try to strike up a real conversation, try to get to know him - because Kurt has been on his mind almost constantly.
Kurt wasn’t there when Blaine took Warbler out - probably because Blaine was up as the sun was rising - he really loves to ride as the light is coming through the trees and just warming the earth. He rides until he sweats through his riding clothes and he knows Warbler is due for a break. His head feels clear and his body refreshed - he feels like he could sing ballads all day.
In fact, he is happily singing to himself as he brushes Warbler when he is almost startled out of his skin by Kurt’s voice.
“If I may, you sing really well.”
His heart leaps into his throat and he feels as if he has to swallow it down before he can speak - he hadn’t even heard Kurt approach, he had been so caught up in caring for Warbler and his song. “Th-thank you. You do, too.”
Kurt’s eyes widen and he takes a quick step backward. “You’ve heard me sing, Mr. Anderson?”
“I - yes, the first day we met? You were singing as I walked down here - your voice, it’s remarkable,” Blaine says, and he furrows his eyebrows when Kurt takes another step away from him. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, I,” Kurt says and diverts his eyes to Shortcake. He reaches up to pet her neck. “No one has heard me sing since - well, no matter. I should get going. I have other chores to do.”
“Wait,” Blaine says and almost reaches out for Kurt. Suddenly all he wants to do is wrap Kurt up in his arms and maybe kiss him but he knows he can’t do that - could never do that. Kurt would never want that, of course not. He thinks maybe Kurt is with Brittany and that’s okay, Blaine can keep his longings and desires to himself. He just needs to work on his self-control. “You don’t have to rush away all the time. I would like it very much... if we could be friends?”
“Friends,” Kurt says slowly, seeming to roll the word around in his mouth as if it is a foreign substance. He ducks his head when Shortcake nudges him. “No, I don’t think so, Mr. Anderson.”
Blaine cocks his head to the side. Has he been too obvious? Surely if he had been, Kurt would’ve told his father and then - oh, he doesn’t want to think about that. He blinks rapidly to try to clear that thought and works his mouth to try to fix things before they spiral out of control. “I don’t mean any - I would just like to get to know you, Kurt.”
“It’s not that easy, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt shakes his head and moves away from Shortcake. “You’re, well - you’re you. And I’m me. As I said, I have chores to do. Have a good day,” he nods his head and exits the stable.
“Kurt,” Blaine tries but it is too late. He understands what Kurt is trying to say but he has never seen it that way. Has never wanted to. He isn’t close with Rory or Brittany or any of the other staff but he has had lengthy conversations with both of them on multiple occasions. Being around Kurt does funny things to his insides - he knows he’ll never know what Kurt smells like, or feels like, or tastes like, but he would love to just sit next to him and talk. He could live on that. Yeah, he could.
~~~
Blaine tugs his drawers up a little higher as he walks out of the lake, the cloth is plastered to his legs and his entire body is dripping with water. He shakes his hair and lets out a shout. “Damn, that feels good!”
Santana laughs and kicks out her feet. “If you get me wet, I swear - you’ll pay, Anderson.”
“So modest,” Blaine laughs, and flops down on the blanket beside her. He tucks one hand behind his head and looks over at her. “I think I’ve seen more of your body than any boy at school ever even dreams of seeing of a girl until he’s married.”
“That’s because,” she huffs as she turns around, one arm carelessly covering her bare breasts to spare her nipples from the sun, “It’s more comfortable this way and I know you don’t like tits. Now let’s talk - how is it with the sexy stable boy?”
Blaine sighs and closes his eyes. He wants to feel frustrated, but he knows it’s not Kurt’s fault. “He barely speaks to me, and he is so busy with his chores that I hardly see him unless he is helping all of us get ready for our morning ride.”
If possible, he has seen less of Kurt than before he had asked for friendship. He hopes he didn’t completely scare Kurt off - he understands this time of year is busy around the estate. He only sees Rory and a few of the others in passing. Of course he sees Brittany every morning and every evening - he sighs again. “I think he’s with someone - Brittany.”
Santana lets out a loud bark of laughter and she hits him in the arm. “You dingbat, don’t you see? He’s not with Brittany, I promise you.”
Blaine opens his eyes again and squints at her, rubbing over the spot on his arm where she slapped him. “How could you possibly know? You don’t talk to him - wait, do you?”
“What? No,” she sighs and rolls back over on her stomach. She folds her arms and lays her head on her arms, facing him. “Blaine - Brittany is, she’s with me. Kurt and Brittany are to each other what we are to each other,” she bites her lip and looks at the grass. “Do you understand?”
“San,” he says softly and reaches out to touch her back. “Why - why didn’t you ever tell me? You know I wouldn’t - you know I would’ve been okay with it.”
She nods and Blaine can see tears shining in her eyes, something he rarely has seen, if ever. “I know, and I should’ve told you. Especially since you trusted me, but it’s new and I’m scared, Blaine, I’m so scared.”
“Hey,” he croaks, and pauses to clear his throat. He pulls her into his arms and doesn’t even think about how her bare breasts are pressed up against his bare chest because none of that matters right now. She is holding him tight and sniffling quietly. “San, it’s okay.” He runs his fingers through her hair and kisses the top of her head. “You - you and Brittany are being safe?”
She nods and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “We - Kurt knows, he helps us spend time together. Blaine, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“So, he um,” Blaine swallows hard and tries to collect his thoughts. He feels as if his world has been suddenly tossed sideways and he feels dizzy. “He knows? And he - he is okay with it? With you and Brittany being,” he pauses and licks his lips, “together?”
“Blaine,” she says, and lifts her head up so she is looking into his eyes. “I think maybe that Kurt is like us. Brittany thinks so; he has never said anything to either one of us. But I think, maybe just so.”
Part Two