(no subject)
seriously
i sound like diy
but this past summer was the greatest summer of my life
and i miss it so much,
it just seems like everyones so..iono dead now
i just wish things could go back to when i was going out with adam
and we were all a big happy family
and we hung out at waldbaums every day and ate pizza
it was just so fun
even though we hated waldbaums so much
iono..i just feel like i've lost everything
we were so much more connected during the summer
now i barely see joey, adam or mike
and now nick with his new girlfriend...i doubt i'll be seeing him around.
this is so gay
and it's making me more depressed thinking about it.
there's a lot to look forward to in the next few years, but there's also a lot to look down upon, i almost wish i were a jr. and i was graduating early with my friends, because after this year almost everyone is going to be gone..
and oh god..if i could go back and change anything from this bad start
it would be not going out with scott, cause ever since that..i have definatly seen a change in the way nick and people have been treating me, and scott for the most part
it's also a good thing he's using everyone around me, he prolly used me too...according to liz he didn't but still i doubt it, whatever i'll prolly end up going out with him again cause i'm stupid..but iono.
fuckin i'm just so confused right now and i don't know what to do all i want to do is type, there's just so much going on and i'm so confused and like nick going out with liz, wtfh..thats so random and like AZGHHHKJFDAHKFDHIDONTKNOW
i just wish people could stop fighting too,
and i want everything to go back to how it was in the summer..
maybe things will change come feb.
i'm hoping the new addition to the family [kaitlyn's baby boyyy] will some how bring us closer together..
and even though we're not legal family
i do completely consider our group a literally family
like i just wish we could all live together sometimes and have family dinner every night
idkkk i'm mad weird like that but i do wish we could be like that
but lately we've all been getting in so many fights and school work is just weighing us down and we haven't been together as often andddd it just seems like our family is falling apart..
ugh,
maybe i'm the only person that feels this way and is going insane..
but whatever....
i just miss summer and what went on and how we just had no responsabilities [spelt that wrong defzzz]
and like...it was just so fun to run around freely with the people you love and do whateverthefuckyouwanted.
now it's like we're being bled dry and when we do see each other we're all half dead and like barely enjoy each others company.
maybe i'm just having to negative of an outlook on this
maybe i'm going crazy..
maybeee it's just me
idk
but things have definatly changed, i know that
i still love everyone
but it just feels as everythings falling apart,
if it does,
i just don't know what i'm going to do with out you guys..