"The Helmsman's Logs - 2375" - Part 2
Here is Part 2 of "The Helmsman's Logs - 2375":
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This covers the episodes "Drone" and "Extreme Risk".
"THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS - 2375"
PART 2
STARDATE 52085.82
My hopes for a pleasant dinner with B'Elanna didn't pan out as I had hoped. In fact, nothing happened at all. We spent most of the evening eating and engaging in small talk about the Void. By the time the evening ended, I could see she wasn't in the mood for anything else. End personal log.
STARDATE 52089.62
The Captain has been speaking with Seven again. During the staff meeting today, she announced pllans to make another attempt at a transwarp conduit. I really don't think much will come from this project, but hopefully it will keep B'Elanna busy and prevent her from sliding into a funk again. I also suggested that we consider constructing a shuttle with a slightly new design. The Captain didn't give the idea her endorsement, but she said she would consider it. End personal log.
STARDATE 52095.72
Just got back from investigating a proto-nebula with B'Elanna, the Doctor and Seven. To be more precise, we barely escaped with our lives. The gravimetric sheer of the nebula caused a hull breach in the shuttle and we escaped with an emergency transport. Whew! Oh, and one more thing. Seven had suggested we design a new and more advanced shuttle craft for Voyager. Everyone accepted the idea, completely forgetting that I had originally suggested it two days ago. Jeez!
I had also asked B'Elanna if she was in the mood for a private dinnr on the Holodeck tonight. She said no, claiming that she waned to catch up on her sleep. Yet, when I checked up on her, just a few minutes ago, I discovered she was in Holodeck Two. Oh God. I think she's back on her holodeck addiction again. That means I'll have to continue sneaking dermal regenerators from Sick Bay to her quarters. Now what am I going to do? End personal log.
STARDATE 52103.61
Poor Seven! The death of One has really affected her. I don't blame her. He was literally her son. Well, Hers and Mulcahy's. After all, One had been the result of Seven's nanoprobes, Mulcahy's DNA and technology from the Doctor's holoemitter. More importantly, One had saved our lives. Because of his 29th century technology, he was able to revisit the drones from the Borg sphere we had came across; and send the sphere into the protonebula. Poor One didn't survive very long upon his return to the ship. Too bad. I rather liked him. End personal log.
STARDATE 52106.6
Seven wasn't the only one affected by One's death. Hell, we all were in one way or the other. But I think it has brought back B'Elanna's depression. That is, if the latter had ever left. I tried talking to her, maybe reach her. Hell, I've been unable to get inside her quarters lately. And I also found out that she was back in the Holodeck. (Sighs) I don't know. Maybe I ought to take this as a sign that our relationship is over. If I can't help her snap out of her depression, what is the point of me hanging around? End personal log.
STARDATE 52111.91
She's getting worse. B'Elanna. She came by my quarters this evening to deliver specs on the new shuttle that the Captain has finally decided should be constructed. I invited B'Elanna to stay for dinner and a bottle of Burgandy. She couldn't wait to leave. Probably to get back to the Holodeck.
Speaking of the new shuttle, I have dubbed it the Delta Flyer. Harry, Seven, Tuvok, Vorik, myself . . . and B'Elanna are part of the construction team. I'm not sure if B'Elanna would be willing to participate. The Captain's order to construct the new shuttle came on the heels of the Malon coming across our new multispatial probe with Borg shielding technology called immersion shielding. Before the Malon could get their hands on the probe, Captain Janeway directed it to a gas giant's atmosphere. Since Voyager does not have this shielding to withstand the gas giant, I had suggested we construct the Delta Flyer with the same immersion shielding, new Borg weaponry and a roomier interior to fetch the probe. The Captain agreed. End personal log.
STARDATE 52113.76
Seven has discovered that the Malon are constructing their own shuttle to get the probe. She also warned they might be finished in less than 36 hours. Orders from the Captain - construction on the Delta Flyer has now become a priority mission. We'll be working on it all day long. End personal log.
Log Supplemental
They all know. About B'Elanna's suicidal trips to the Holodeck. The command staff knows all about the orbital skydiving, the Cardassian combat sessions and the program featuring the dead Maquis. A part of me is relieved that her secret is finally out. But I also feel like an ass for keeping her secret in the first place. I got the feeling that both the Captain and Chakotay found it hard to believe that I didn't know. I refused to let on that I did. What can I say? I didn't want to be a snitch. And there's that old saying - you can't help someone who refuses your help. But at least the Captain and Chakotay. Finally. End personal log.
STARDATE 52117.67
A lot has happened today. We've completed construction on the Delta Flyer. We even managed to to get the probe before the Malon could, thanks to the immersion shielding and the Borg weaponry. The Delta Flyer almost buckled under microfissures, but B'Elanna was on hand to prevent any disasters.
That's right. B'Elanna had finally snapped out of her depression long enough to help us retrieve the probe. In the end, it was Chakotay who finally forced her to face her depression. Just as I had expected, it was the news of the Maquis' destruction in the Alpha Quadrant that started it all. Survivor's guilt. I guess she had managed to keep her feelings to herself for a while, but our journey through the Void, and later, One's death became the last straw.
I just asked the computer to locate B'Elanna. She's in the Mess Hall. And she has just replicated banana pancakes, a dish her Human grandmother used to make for her. I'm glad. Hopefully, this means she's on the road to recovery. I understand she will be facing counseling sessions to help her. (Pauses) And yet . . . I don't know. All this time I've been aware of her depression, and yet it took Chakotay to confront her about it. I didn't do a damn thing to help her and now I feel like a complete failure. End personal log.
END OF PART 2