(no subject)
I leave for DC tomorrow. I get to see Neelam, I'm so excited for that. I haven't seen her in years. I'm getting dressed up in all of these fancy clothes and suits and it's just not ME. I tried the outfits on today and felt so out of place. Seriously, I'm at home in a barn. You don't wear suit jackets and blouses and trousers to a barn. I was trying all of them on and felt like I was gonna lose it. I'm stressed abut not fitting in down there and losing something and not being smart enough or in on current events enough to understand whatever theyre talking about. Oh, and about this Mark fellow that my dad told me to say hi to. I don't know anything about him except that his name is Mark and he'll be down there. Supposedly. I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm stressing about my trip, obviously. And this is pretty much deciding if I really want to be in an intell career or not. My back up choice right now is editor. I just realized today how often I correct other people's grammar and when the scowl at me I say, "What is it you want? I'm an editor." I don't know. And that bothers me. I had my life so planned out before I was about 13-14. People used to tell me that if I got stuck at the wrong red light my life would snowball.
I've been staying up really late lately. I love my room, because at a certain time at night, between 11:45 and 2 or 3, depending, the moon shines right through my window onto my bed, or through my door with all the windows in it onto my floor, and just leaves a beautiful silvery glow on everything. I love the sky. Stars, sunrises, sutsets, the moon, clouds, lightning, everything. I need to start getting up earlier and sit out on my porch/roof and watch the sunrise. With a cup of coffee or highly caffinated tea. Otherwise I'll fall asleep and roll off the edge and die. And that's not good. Anyway, I need to get going... I have no idea how early we're leaving tomorrow. I'm gonna need coffee. Or highly caffinated tea.
I've been staying up really late lately. I love my room, because at a certain time at night, between 11:45 and 2 or 3, depending, the moon shines right through my window onto my bed, or through my door with all the windows in it onto my floor, and just leaves a beautiful silvery glow on everything. I love the sky. Stars, sunrises, sutsets, the moon, clouds, lightning, everything. I need to start getting up earlier and sit out on my porch/roof and watch the sunrise. With a cup of coffee or highly caffinated tea. Otherwise I'll fall asleep and roll off the edge and die. And that's not good. Anyway, I need to get going... I have no idea how early we're leaving tomorrow. I'm gonna need coffee. Or highly caffinated tea.