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[ctg]

So last night I was kinda bummed out.. just over analyzing everything (story of my life) but then i worked out.. dan called.. we hung out.. me him and Jon..And as always, puts me in a better mood. Then he texted me which was unexpected.. he was at the studio (story of his life) and we actually ended up hanging out. I don't know, I enjoy his company alot, and my feelings are growing stronger, and he doesnt even have the time to sleep let alone even think about a relationship.. as I understand. I need to stop this whole selfish thing.. He was talking about how he had to get a passport to go to Europe and I'm like.. I dont want to talk about that, It makes me upset. And its just like, well, thats reality. I guess what makes me the most upset about this whole thing is hes going to be away, doing what he does best, having fun, coming encounter with all these new people, and I'll still be stuck in this shithole still hooked on him. I just dont want him to forget I still exist. I'm not asking him to quit his life.. I just want him to know I would understand.. Everyone else seems to make this work out one way or anther why can't we?..I definatly feel bad for being like "waaa waa waaaa I dont want you to go" I feel so immature. I'm gonna stop that from now on..He told me to call him later.. but I feel like Im interrupting his life.. and getting in the way.. eventhough I don't see him that much.. I know he must just want to have time to himself though..ahhh whatever, this situation gives me a headache.. haha. Either way, these nights with him are indescribable<3

sooo.. 6 more weeks of winter.. I hope.. I'm pumped.
I kinda have a feeling things may turn around eventually..
eventually. I just want a break thats all...

I need a shower.