A Journal Entry by Lexi
A Journal Entry by Lexi
I think I’m in trouble…
Or
Where the hell is Clark when I need him?
Well my GrandmaC wants me to start writing things down. She thinks it will help me the issues she seems to think I have. I personally think it is unnecessary, but will humor her for now.
So far things seem to be going pretty well here at my new home. I really like my Mom a LOT dad and I have a few issues. I keep biting him. GrandmaC laughs and calls him Lionel. I’m not sure why. Both of my parents however are very easily manipulated so all is good on that front. Puppy dog eyes get you really far around here. GrandmaC is a bit harder to work but I think I can handle it. And Great Grandma B is a REALLY good cook. So on the cuisine front I’m really well taken care of. She can’t resist my puppy dog eyes either. Uncle B is interesting I will have to keep an eye on him. He does not live here but he visits with his family. He is a big dude who calls me Lexapro. He says I need some in my food. I’ll be sure to sniff it thoroughly before eating when he is around.
I want everyone to know I am hell bent on world domination making the planet a better place to live. Well for now I will start with controlling the house I live in, and then move upward. Like I said the humans around here are really good to me, but they left me alone the other night.
Big mistake.
When they got home I played the good dog all happy to see them but Lionel (thanks GrandmaC I can’t get that name out of my head now!) I mean my dad made a crucial mistake. He left his wallet on the kitchen table! HA! They still think I’m a tiny little cute thing. I had the wallet in thirty seconds when they left the room.
Now I know the humans heard me. I made enough noise to wake the dead but did anyone come to see what I was doing? Nope. I had almost the entire contents eaten before anyone poked their head into my room. Credit cards, money, License. What exactly is a license and why was my dad so mad he has to go to the DMV to get a new one?
Anyway that was my first attempt to control my environment. It wasn’t a good one I think because pooping plastic can really hurt. Note to self: Avoid all plastic in diet especially credit cards.
I wonder why GrandmaC calls me Lex when she is mad at me?
Now last night was different…
Mom was working so GrandmaC and GreatGrandmaB took me to training class. I think I should have both of them trained thoroughly in about three weeks. Mom and dad only took two classes for me to have them under my control trained. But GrandmaC has a bit more willpower to her then they do. She told the trainer that I ate the homework papers she gave them last week. I’m not really sure why but everyone laughed. Hey, I like paper in my diet. Keeps me regular.
Well we get home and I’m in a pissy mood. My DAD took me to the vets and I got two shots so I figured I’d show him. He brought up a roll of this really cool looking stuff. GrandmaC called it paper towels. And he left it on the table. Note to self: Dad is not trained very well you think he would learn from the wallet fiasco. Use this info to exploit his weakness.
Anyway. He left the room and my inner devil dog took over. I had the entire roll undone and thrown all around the room in under thirty seconds. I did hear GrandmaC tell them to check on me, as once again I was rather loud in my endeavors. Note to self: need to work on noise level. GrandmaC has good ears. Now when Dad finally got off his butt he called GrandmaC to come and look THEN he called Great Grandma B and I thought my goose was cooked.
I called out for Clark again but he never came. Note to self: Find out who is this Clark and why do I keep looking for him to help me?
Well my humans all stood there and started laughing so hard they began to cry. I think I’m in trouble again when GrandmaC scooped me up. (Which is hard to do since I’m now 18 pounds!!) and laughed and cuddled me. I think I may keep her when I take over the world.
Can a dog become president?
I have to go now. Typing really hurts my paws. The keys are so tiny. Note to self: Hire personal assistant to type these damn things.
I think I’m in trouble…
Or
Where the hell is Clark when I need him?
Well my GrandmaC wants me to start writing things down. She thinks it will help me the issues she seems to think I have. I personally think it is unnecessary, but will humor her for now.
So far things seem to be going pretty well here at my new home. I really like my Mom a LOT dad and I have a few issues. I keep biting him. GrandmaC laughs and calls him Lionel. I’m not sure why. Both of my parents however are very easily manipulated so all is good on that front. Puppy dog eyes get you really far around here. GrandmaC is a bit harder to work but I think I can handle it. And Great Grandma B is a REALLY good cook. So on the cuisine front I’m really well taken care of. She can’t resist my puppy dog eyes either. Uncle B is interesting I will have to keep an eye on him. He does not live here but he visits with his family. He is a big dude who calls me Lexapro. He says I need some in my food. I’ll be sure to sniff it thoroughly before eating when he is around.
I want everyone to know I am hell bent on world domination making the planet a better place to live. Well for now I will start with controlling the house I live in, and then move upward. Like I said the humans around here are really good to me, but they left me alone the other night.
Big mistake.
When they got home I played the good dog all happy to see them but Lionel (thanks GrandmaC I can’t get that name out of my head now!) I mean my dad made a crucial mistake. He left his wallet on the kitchen table! HA! They still think I’m a tiny little cute thing. I had the wallet in thirty seconds when they left the room.
Now I know the humans heard me. I made enough noise to wake the dead but did anyone come to see what I was doing? Nope. I had almost the entire contents eaten before anyone poked their head into my room. Credit cards, money, License. What exactly is a license and why was my dad so mad he has to go to the DMV to get a new one?
Anyway that was my first attempt to control my environment. It wasn’t a good one I think because pooping plastic can really hurt. Note to self: Avoid all plastic in diet especially credit cards.
I wonder why GrandmaC calls me Lex when she is mad at me?
Now last night was different…
Mom was working so GrandmaC and GreatGrandmaB took me to training class. I think I should have both of them trained thoroughly in about three weeks. Mom and dad only took two classes for me to have them under my control trained. But GrandmaC has a bit more willpower to her then they do. She told the trainer that I ate the homework papers she gave them last week. I’m not really sure why but everyone laughed. Hey, I like paper in my diet. Keeps me regular.
Well we get home and I’m in a pissy mood. My DAD took me to the vets and I got two shots so I figured I’d show him. He brought up a roll of this really cool looking stuff. GrandmaC called it paper towels. And he left it on the table. Note to self: Dad is not trained very well you think he would learn from the wallet fiasco. Use this info to exploit his weakness.
Anyway. He left the room and my inner devil dog took over. I had the entire roll undone and thrown all around the room in under thirty seconds. I did hear GrandmaC tell them to check on me, as once again I was rather loud in my endeavors. Note to self: need to work on noise level. GrandmaC has good ears. Now when Dad finally got off his butt he called GrandmaC to come and look THEN he called Great Grandma B and I thought my goose was cooked.
I called out for Clark again but he never came. Note to self: Find out who is this Clark and why do I keep looking for him to help me?
Well my humans all stood there and started laughing so hard they began to cry. I think I’m in trouble again when GrandmaC scooped me up. (Which is hard to do since I’m now 18 pounds!!) and laughed and cuddled me. I think I may keep her when I take over the world.
Can a dog become president?
I have to go now. Typing really hurts my paws. The keys are so tiny. Note to self: Hire personal assistant to type these damn things.