[LOG] Isabel + Ravel - Bunnies
Last Wednesday (February 25th). Isabel and Ravel meet for a practice tarot reading. Psychic stuff is brought up, cards are read, a little bit of pressure is put on Ravel to use names, and Isabel realizes the Hawksleys are really weird.
Isabel
Ravel
She had never ventured onto this part of the campus before. She had nothing to do with the engineering building before, after all, and she wasn't entirely certain where exactly to wait for Ravel. Thus, she stood to the side, out of the way, watching students who worked in the building go in and out, each sort of glancing at her out of the corner of their eyes as they passed.
Frowning a little, Isabel waited still, shifting her weight from one leg to the other as she clutched the book and her tarot cards between her gloved hands, cradling them against her chest as she waited, scanning the area in front of the building as she waited for Ravel.
He wouldn't forget, right?
Ravel hadn't forgotten. Jacket clad arms came around from behind Isabel and caught her in a loose hug as a familiar face leaned in from behind.
"Boo~!" Ravel giggled as he smiled at her. He gave Isabel a quick peck on the cheek for greetings. "I found a room for us~ Did you wait long~?" He was dressed in a girl's fur-hooded jacket and a dark blue scarf that trailed down past a loose top, completely disguising the fact that he had no real chest.
Isabel let out a startled yelp as someone embraced her from behind and, for a moment, she twisted, thinking to whack whoever it was with her poor tarot book. Fortunately, however, she recognized the voice and the face in time and, with a little sigh, she shifted her cards and her book to one arm to swat at Ravel with her now free hand.
"Don't scare me like that!"
It took her a moment or two before she calmed down enough to realize her had kissed her cheek and that he had mentioned he found a room. She shook her head, giving him a bright smile. "I haven't been waiting long, no. I didn't realize you were already here, though. If I knew that, I would have waited inside." Curse England and it's cold weather.
"I got out a bit early so I thought I'd find us some place nice, cutie~" Ravel broke free from the embrace, using a hand to brush his long hair back from his face.
"Sorry~ But let's go inside! It's at least warmer than out here~" Ravel wrinkled his nose at the gloomy English sky above them. "At least if there's snow, it's pretty, otherwise it's just cold~"
Well, at least now they didn't have to go wandering through the building trying to find a free room. That was definitely a plus. She shifted to clutch the books and the cards to her chest once again as he glared at the sky.
"Winters get kind of cold in Boston, but I guess I'm not as used to it as I thought. It's still pretty cold here."
Ravel opened the side door and began leading the way down a long corridor to the empty studyroom he'd found.
"It's so cold! Sometimes I feel like it's never going to warm up again, haha~" He pushed the door open revealing a room with a long table, covered windows and some comfortable looking chairs. Ravel's own tote bag with a cute whale on the front was sitting randomly on the table top.
"How's this, cutie~?"
"It always does, though. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in a place where you could never see snow," she said, smiling a bit as he pushed open the door the room they would be taking over.
It was absolutely perfect! The table and the covered windows and the comfy chairs... perfect! Oooh and was that Ravel's bag on the tabletop? So cute!
"It's great!" She moved past him to get a better look. "Do you think anybody ever uses this?"
"I don't know~ I think it's just one of those study rooms. There seems to be a lot of them down this hall, very private~" Ravel gave a teasing grin before moving to flop down in a chair in a flurry of jacket, scarf and long blonde hair.
"I think it should be okay~"
"Well, if you're sure..." If Ravel had been implying something by saying the hallway itself was very private, it went completely over her head. Isabel smiled a little, nodding to pretend that she understood, and proceeded to slip out of her jacket and draped it over the back of one of the comfy chairs.
"Thanks for helping me with this. I feel bad asking Cayden."
"Why? Love's nice, he wouldn't mind~" Ravel pulled his own jacket off, but left it where it crumpled behind him. He tugged at his sleeves, checking that they were straight before leaning forward to look at Isabel.
"This is fun too though~ We should bring hot cocoa and snacks next time too~"
"I dunno," she confessed as she slid into another chair, flopping back in it and letting her book and cards rest on her lap. "He seems like he's been kind of busy lately, but that might just be me." She shrugged a bit. "And if he's busy, I don't want to bug him."
She would have to remember about the hot cocoa and snacks for the next time, though. If they ever did this again.
"Mm~" Cayden had been a bit...distant lately. Well, not distant but always going out to study or work. Ravel hadn't minded as much, not with Alec stuck to his side like a stoic-faced sidekick but if even other people were starting to notice, maybe it was time he asked his brother...
"Well, what do you want to do then, cutie~? Practice reading~?"
She nodded, looking a little hesitant about doing so. "Do you mind?"
"Nope~" Ravel scooted his chair forward a bit so he could comfortably rest both elbows and head on the table.
"Love used to practice on me at home~ He still does sometimes...when I ask him~"
"It must be nice having a sibling," she said with a smile, setting the deck on the tabletop and starting to unwrap it from it's piece of velvet. "And getting that much practice. I get some at club, but, I mean, I'm hardly as good as Cayden is."
Truth be told, she was a bit more confident about her card reading skills after that session with Vincent last night, although she had to wonder if the "future" cards she had turned over would come to pass. It was entirely possible, but, at the same time, would it break the poor guy?
"Hey, Ravel?" She frowned, absently tracing a finger across the circle of dragons on the back of the topmost card. "Do you think these really work?"
"..." Ravel looked down at the table for a second, watching the tarot cards unfold from its velvet wrapper. "Cousins." It would only get them in trouble if anyone knew.
Hearing her call his name, he looked up, a smile on his face again, finger toying with a long lock of hair.
"What sweetie~?"
Wait. They were cousins? But they seemed so close, so she had just assumed they were brothers. Maybe they had been raised together, then? That would account for the closeness, she supposed, but...
She frowned, glancing over at him once again. "The cards. Do you think you can really predict future events and things with them?"
"What do you believe~?" Ravel reached out to tentatively grace the top of one card, perfectly manicured nails sliding down the curve of the dragon's back till it intertwined with its pair.
"I don't know," she said, frowning. "I'd like to think so, but it's just that..." She sighed, focusing on Ravel's fingers as they brushed against the cards. "Last night, I did a spread for Vincent, and I think I said something about his future that upset him."
"Ah~ The cards weren't nice to him~?" Ravel's finger continued to trace the dragon, following the circle down and around, out and down.
"You think the bad things you read will happen to him~?"
"Maybe. I mean, it wasn't like I said anybody was going to die or drew the Tower card or anything like that," she said, frowning a bit more, "but he didn't seem happy with what I said at all."
"The cards are suggestions, thoughts~" Ravel said, tapping the card before flipping it over with a graceful slide of two fingers.
"Maybe he's been worried about something~ What you said must have made sense to him or he wouldn't have cared~"
She had resorted the cards back into their proper suits and denominations before she had left her dorm room earlier, and, thus, the card Ravel turned over was The Fool, a young man standing before a split path, one clearly more difficult than the other, little dragons all around.
"Well, apparently, I was pretty dead-on with the things I said before I got to that card, anyway."
"He got luck with you then, cutie~" Ravel picked up the card and waved it at Isabel before breaking into a little smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Or maybe he just wanted to believe in what he heard~"
"Maybe," she said, smiling a little back at him. His attempts at lightening the mood had definitely worked, though. "I guess I just wish there was a way to know for sure." She shrugged a bit at this. "I mean, if the psychics on TV can supposedly do it..."
Of course, now, what was she supposed to say? 'Why couldn't there be people like me who could?' It wasn't as though her type of psychic was exactly the same thing, after all.
"I always thought they looked funny on television~!" Ravel giggled, playing with the card now, waving it like an airplane before setting it down on the table next to its mates.
"They're always so bouncy and happy~ Silly, I think~"
"I guess so," she agreed. She had always thought the psychics on TV like Miss Cleo or whoever looked and sounded kind of ridiculous, herself. "But, I mean, my point is that if there are people who claim to do it on TV, then, maybe, there are people in real life who can do it, too. Do you think so?"
After all, spirits were real enough and she could sense them. If there were people like her who could see and have conversations with them, why couldn't there also be people who could see the future?
"Ah...maybe~" Ravel's eyes were downcast, his face still with that same playful trace of a smile, but his gaze was ...not wary, but filled with a sense of reminder.
"But I think life would be hard for that type of person. Always living with other's futures, I wonder if they would have time for their own today." He said softly.
"I don't know." She frowned a little, leaning forward a bit to watch Ravel's face. There was something there, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. "The person who could see things like that is still a person. They have the right to live their own life, too. People should respect that."
"Hehe, you think so?" Ravel leaned back, plastering a girly grin showing just a hint of teeth on his face. "What would you do if you could tell the future, cutie~?
"I don't know," she confessed, laughing a bit. "I can't say that I've given it much thought, but, I think I'd like to be able to tell what's fixed and what could be changed. I'd want to help people."
Help more people, she supposed. That seemed like all she ever did lately. Somehow, to her, seeing the future in that sense seemed a lot more beneficial than being able to sense spirits. After all, what exactly could she help a spirit do if she ever was able to talk to them? Help them pact to people?
Was that really helping them, though...?
"But how would you know who to help~? Would you only pick your friends, family~?" Ravel's fingers trailed down the long lock that hung by the side of his face, brushing his fingers through, brushing the hair straight. You couldn't help everyone. And when you helped one, you could change the future for others.
"Usually, the people who need the most help aren't the ones you're related to or know well." At least that was how it seemed to her. She shrugged. "But at least someone who has those abilities has the chance to help somebody. Unlike me."
Sure. She could see spirits. Who did that really help?
"You don't need to see the future to help people, cutie~ That's just silly~ People who see the future are probably terrible and weird~ Who wants to be friends with someone who knows all their secrets~" Ravel gave a little laugh before reaching out to touch Isabel's wrist.
"Why are you so sad about wanting to help people by seeing the future, cutie~? Did something happen~?"
Did you find out what I am?
"No, nothing happened." It was silly of Ravel to think that, really. Just like it was silly of her to be all depressed by this. "Some types of psychic seem to be more useful than other types, that's all."
And, anyway, Ravel didn't have to worry about her treating him differently if she ever found out what he was. It wouldn't have made a difference at all. Ravel was Ravel, after all, and one of the nicest people she'd met. Finding out what he was wouldn't change anything.
"Really~? I guess it'd depend on what you call helpful~ I think if you could know what happens in the future, it's just troublesome~ It'd be for fun to have a power that can do something different~ That won't cause harm~" Ravel tilted his chin down, a practiced feminine action that accentuated his long face and large eyes.
"Didn't you want to practice, cutie~? Read for me~ I want to hear your pretty voice, hehe~" He giggled, leaning forward to the table and Isabel with a smile.
Right. That was right. She had promised Ravel a reading. Maybe she'd get around to telling him that she could see spirits later.
With a little smile, she reached across the table and took hold of her tarot cards, slowly shuffling them as she went. "Do you have anything you want to know?"
"Mm mm~ Tell me about anything, cutie~" Ravel rested his chin in the valley of his left hand, fingers against his own cheek. It was a familiar feel to have someone read for him- Cayden used to do it often when they were younger. And when he was more free and not holed up in the library or wherever else he disappeared to these days.
"Man, what is it with you people and not knowing what you want a spread about?" she asked, tone teasing as she continued to shuffle her deck. "Should I just do a past, present, future spread for you, then?"
"Haha~!" Ravel laughed at Isabel's playful jab. "Sure, cutie~"
"Do you have anything you'd like to know if you were getting your future read~?" She was a good shuffler, hands were steady.
Isabel laughed as she shuffled still, focusing slightly as Iris has taught her in their training sessions together. She had to keep some sort of concentration, else she might miss when the cards felt right to her. "I'd settle for knowing if I'm going to survive the school year, personally."
"That's not very hard, sweetie~ haha~" Ravel laughed. Survival? That was a rather general desire. Most people wanted to know about money, fortunes, romance, power. Is this investment good, will I make money off of that acquisition, is she cheating on me with another man? Ravel had heard many questions over his years of supplying fortunes, every since he was young enough for his parents to sit in front of a crystal ball and feign fakery mystics for his real psychic skills.
"Pretend I don't know anything about reading, explain to me then, cutie~"
"What's there to explain?" she asked as the last of the cards finally slid out of her hands to land on top of her newly shuffled deck. The energy around it felt different now, almost as if it was waiting, and, seemingly satisfied, she held the deck out to Ravel. "Your turn to shuffle, but try not to reverse any of the cards? My deck can't be read in the reverse. And since you don't have a question, just... focus your energy on the cards."
She really needed more practice with people who didn't have anything they wanted to know.
"Focusing~" Ravel replied in a sing-song voice. The cards were pretty, with a circular dragon design on the back. Ravel was not as fluid of a shuffler as Cayden but he didn't drop any cards, sliding them in and out of the deck slowly and carefully.
Isabel had seen Cayden shuffle his cards before, and now that she had some of Iris' training behind her, she could properly appreciate how fluid his movements were. Ravel had clearly handled cards before, though he lacked some of the fluidity his cousin had.
She smiled a little as she watched him. "So Cayden used to practice with you, huh?"
At the mention of his brother's name, Ravel's face warmed and visibly lit up unconsciously.
"Yes~ He picked up cards when he was younger and he always practiced with people around him~ Love had a lot of friends from his school but he always still practiced with me at home~" Those days, locked away for protection at home, the only thing he had to look forward to was his brother's return to the house, but he hadn't minded. The most important thing then and even now was that Cayden wanted to be with him.
"Ah, no wonder Cayden's so good at it," Isabel said with a little smile. "If he picked it up when he was little, he'd have to be fabulous at it now~"
"He likes it a lot~ It helps him relax~" Ravel finished shuffling and neatly tapped the deck in the palm of his hand to straighten everything out.
"Why did you learn, sweetie~?"
"A friend of the family reads." She smiled even more, recalling rainy days where he had pulled out his well-loved deck of cards and had shown them to her. At the time, she had been more fascinated by the pretty pictures. Meanings? Who cared? The pictures were pretty. "He gave me that deck, actually."
"Oh~? No wonder you were worried about losing it then~" Ravel held the deck out for Isabel to take.
"I like new decks because the pictures are so pretty, but love says the old decks are more interesting~ They have experience~" Ravel emphasized the last word with a grin
"It's true. Uncle thinks that decks should never be discarded, but passed on, instead. He says they feel different when they're ready to move on." Laughing a bit, she pushed the cards back towards Ravel. "Not yet, silly. You still have to cut the deck. Cut it into three piles, then put it back together in a different order than you took it apart."
"See~? You know the steps~" Ravel giggled and cut the deck at a random spot and then placed it on the table. He made his piles and set them on the table. His hands were well lotioned, well manicured and one of Ravel's favorite traits after his long blonde hair. He slid on pile across and then reassembled the deck on the tabletop.
"Okay, sweetie~"
"The steps I know." She smiled, pulling the deck back towards her once again. Once it was neatly settled in front of her, she slid the pile across the tabletop, spreading the cards out in front of her. "It's the meaning of some of the cards that I can't get."
She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, hovering her right hand over the line of cards before her. Slowly, it passed over the line of cards, pausing just long enough to draw three cards from different areas of the line. Her cards selected, she reassembled the remaining cards and set them back on their velvet covering, arranging the cards she had drawn in front of her with her left hand.
"You want the book?" she asked, holding it up to show him. "Or do you have the cards memorized by now?"
Ravel reached over Isabel's arm, brushing his hand over her sleeve before before taking the book.
"I'll keep it just in case~" He touched the velvet covering with his index. "Soft~"
"Might be a good idea," she said with a little laugh as she flipped over the first card. There lay a sleeping dragon in an open space upon rocky ground, a young woman curled up beside him. Four swords were spread out neatly before the dragon.
"All right. So your past is the Four of Swords." She paused, taking a moment to recall the meaning of the card before she spoke. "Before this card came into play, something happened on your end of things. I don't know what; I can't tell, but it was stressful or upsetting for you. Some time has passed since then, though, since I'm not getting an anxious sort of feeling; it's passed and you've accepted it, I think."
She frowned a bit, attempting to recall what exactly it felt like to her. It took her a moment or two before she found the words. "It kind of reminds me of the calm before a storm, you know? Like they're preparing for something that could happen soon."
"Something bad happened~? Sounds scary~" Ravel was still leaning forward on the table, twirling his hair on his finger.
"Well, not like bad bad or anything. But it upset you or bothered you on some level." She frowned a bit, glancing over at him. "Does that make sense to you?"
"Mm~ Keep going~ Can you tell me more~?"
"Not about that." She shook her head, frowning a bit more. "I just sort of get feelings sometimes when looking at the cards, but I can't get specifics or anything. Sorry."
"It's okay~" Ravel tugged at the tails of his scarf lightly, wrapping his scarf tails in his hand to keep warm. It wasn't that chilly but he liked the feeling of fabric over his hand.
Well, at least he wasn't pressuring her for more information. Giving him a little smile, she flipped over the next card, much like any other card bearing this name, save for the dragons watching him.
"Your present is the Hanged Man," she said, frowning. "Typically, this means some sort of suspended activity, but here..." She frowned a bit. "I'm hesitant to say that. It's more of a mental sort of suspension? It's like you feel like you're being pulled in multiple different directions and you're trying to stay in the middle of it. I think the book also says something about it pointing to a challenge in the way you think and live."
The more she thought about it, though, the more she wondered if she was doing something wrong. After all, none of this particularly sounded like Ravel. Ravel was smiling all the time. He was happy. He had his cousin here. Nothing ever bothered him. Ever. Had she misjudged and pulled the wrong cards?
"I sound confused~ Does it say more on that~?" They were only cards, made to help clear the mind, Ravel thought to himself. Even if it was all very true.
"A challenge~?" Like living a girl's life? Being a girl, pampering himself, dressing like a woman, talking, eating, doing everything to force himself to accept that his life would only be possibly, only matter if he could pull off the facade of being a female. And even here, away from the family, able to change his sister title to one of a cousin, even here he still couldn't break away. He didn't know how to move and act like a boy anymore, how to not talk in an asexual manner, how to not move his hips, not swing his hair, not flirt. He'd lost these years ago, castrated much like his role of heir.
"Not really, but I get the sense that the hanged man here is definitely you." She frowned at the card some more, fingers ghosting over the dragons on the rocks, watching, waiting. "I feel like they're waiting to see if you're going to fall."
You have to be careful, Ravel. You are the most important person in this family. Everyone is relying on you. You have a position to protect, do you understand? You have to be careful with everything you do. Understand?
Ravel controlled himself carefully, not letting how closely the comment hit home to show on his face.
"The hanged man sounds terrible~" He watched Isabel's finger moving over the dragons and could almost imagine the dragons staring at him, watching him with judging demanding eyes just like his father and uncle and everyone else in the family.
"Only in this case," she confessed, frowning a bit. "I've seen other cases where he's actually something positive, more like a warning to pay attention."
"But it's not for me~?" Ravel's eyes kept focused on the cards, intently starring at the finger and the dragons and the eyes of the watchers.
"No, in this case, they're definitely silently judging." She shifted to look at him once again, eyes apologetic. "Sorry, Ravel."
"Hehe~ Keep going~"
Ravel gave her a smile. The reader was not at fault. It was his own fault for being sensitive to the cards. This was just a practice, that's all.
"What else can you tell me, cutie~?
"Well, your future's the only card left, so..." With a little smile, she flipped over the final card. On it were baby fire dragons, a singular sword and a volcano in the background. "Ace of Swords! You have some important activity or decisions going on in your future, Ravel!" So why were her eyes going to volcano at the top of the card? "But I don't think it's going to be very good."
"Ace of Swords~ I have to be careful of a challenge coming~"
That wasn't so bad. The future was the one realm that Ravel knew was filled with possibility- just like the Ace of Swords. But something bad...Cayden?
"Mm." She nodded, tapping the volcano at the top of the card. "See how this is erupting, though? That's the part of the card I'm drawn to."
"What do you mean~?" Ravel's gaze followed to where Isabel's finger pointed.
"Okay, look, I know it's weird," she said, twisting a bit to look at him, "but sometimes, I'm drawn to specific places on cards. That's where I'm drawn to." She tapped the volcano again. "I think it might be something big..."
"Something big will happen soon that's bad then." Ravel gave the volcano another once over. None of his cards were good cards, none of them held any hope or suggestions of a possibility for something different. Just trouble, waiting, confusion and now ...
"Or explosive." She frowned, shaking her head. "But, I mean, that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen or anything, right?"
"Of course, cutie~" Ravel heard the slight worry in the girl's own voice and quickly reached over and touched her hand and wrist soothingly.
"It's only a card reading~ Unless you really have the powers to see the future, cutie~"
Aww, Ravel was so sweet. She smiled back at him then, shaking her head as she shifted to gather the cards up once again with her free hand. She could kind of see something, but the future wasn't it.
"No, I can't see anything like that." Maybe she should tell him. It was Ravel, after all. He wouldn't think she was weird because of it, would he?
"Mm~" Ravel watched her clear up the cards thoughtfully.
"Is something wrong~? Did you forget which card means what~?" He teased lightly, fingers still resting gently on her wrist.
"Well, no." Clearly, she had done better! The fact that she was a bit more confident with her cards was definitely a good thing, but that was hardly the first thing on her mind. "But..."
She really had to get past that fear that people would think she was strange. If they were really her friends, they'd like her still no matter what, wouldn't they? Zach still liked her. Emilian still liked her. Ravel would, too, wouldn't he?
"Okay, look, I know this is kind of going to sound like it's coming out of left field here, but if I were to tell you I was kind of psychic, what would you say?"
Ravel's eyes swept downwards slowly, wondering what she meant.
"Psychic~?" He had to force himself not to pull away in fear, keeping his hand resting there, gently, keeping himself under control. He checked his shields, making sure he wasn't reading her. No this must be some type of test. She couldn't know, so this must mean something else than what he feared.
"What do you mean, cutie~?" Ravel looked up at Isabel, uncertainty in his eyes. "What kind of psychic~?"
There was uncertainty there in his eyes, a look that made her look away, closing her eyes. This was a bad idea. Ravel probably thought she was crazy or something. Just what she needed.
"...it's... well..." Great. She couldn't exactly say 'no, forget it', now, could she? She had started this. She had to finish it, no matter how bad of an idea it turned out to be. "Er, well, you know how there are people who say they can see ghosts and stuff like that?"
Ghosts? ...Ravel tried to think. This didn't seem to be heading down anything bad, right? Ghosts had nothing to do with psychics unless-
"You can see ghosts?" Ravel's eyes were wide with surprise. That was different. "Really~?"
There was surprise on his face now. Was that good or bad? Isabel couldn't tell, but he wasn't recoiling in fear or anything. Maybe it was good?
"Well, not ghosts exactly." How to explain this? "They're called spirits, from another plane. Unless they manifest, we can't see them or hear them. I'm supposed to, since I can sense them if they're in the area while they're dematerialized, but, yeah. That's really about it."
She had to wonder, though. Now that Ravel knew, what would he do? What would he say?
Ahhh...this made a lot more sense. A look of visible relief came over Ravel and he seemed to relax into a smile.
"Spirits~ So you can see spirits~" Ravel brushed a stray strand of hair that had fallen forward into his eyes and waved his spare hand.
"That's nothing to be nervous about, sweetie~! Is that why you were acting so funny~?"
Well, that was strange. He seemed almost relieved now. Had he been worried before? But worried about what?
"Yeah." It seemed almost silly now, especially since Ravel was actually being fairly calm about it. "I've gotten better about it, but I still get worried people are going to think I'm a freak or something..."
"Well it is different~ And not everyone can see them when they're not materialized," Ravel made a little gesture to emphasize with his hand. "But isn't it a harmless power~? You can't hurt anyone with it, so no one should be worried, right~?"
"I guess." She sighed. "But when you spend most of your life being told you're seeing things, you kind of start to believe it."
"Haha~" Ravel couldn't help but laugh at the look of pestered resignation Isabel was exuding. Moving over so he was a bit closer, he leaned on Isabel's arm.
"Well, you are seeing things~ They're just really there~ Hehe~" Ravel pursed his lips a little.
"So have you met a lot of them around here~?" Spirits made Ravel a little nervous, a little relieved and was all in all a bag of mixed emotions. But as long as he consciously didn't try to look at them with his mind, he couldn't tell the different just by being with them. And when it came to things that could trouble him, he'd long learned to pretend it wasn't there. It must be different for Isabel though...he wondered if she could just stop looking and mused that it probably didn't work the same way. What she saw was with her eyes, what he saw was with his mind.
"Yeah, but you know how people are nowadays. They're all 'if I can see it, and I can touch it, then it's real'." She groaned. "My parents thought I was making things up to get attention."
She smiled a little at that, though. Ravel was right, after all. Maybe she really had been thinking about this all wrong.
"Well, there are more than I thought," she admitted, smiling, "but I haven't met all of them. I've met a couple, though, and they're really nice, but I've only met materialized ones so far. Maybe dematerialized ones are different."
"You can see them but you don't ever try to talk to them~?"
Ravel was curious what was the main difference between materialized and dematerialized. He should ask Cayden, Narcissus hadn't been around for a while, which made Ravel secretly happy.
"I probably could, and I think I'm supposed to talk to them," she confessed, frowning a bit, "but I can't hear them if they say anything back." Never mind the fact that if she saw a silhouette of them while they were dematerialized, she counted herself lucky she had seen anything at all.
Ahh~" Ravel nodded. "So you can't talk to them~ Well, that almost makes them like ghosts~" He mused, nibbling on his lower lip gently.
"I guess." She smiled a bit. "But people can kind of talk to ghosts, you know. They do it all the time on Ghost Hunters; they're called EVPs."
"Ghost hunters~?" Now Ravel did look confused. "Is that another club~?"
She laughed, shaking her head. "No, silly! It's a TV show."
Did they not have it in Australia? That was tragic.
"Ohhhh~! A television show!" Ravel laughed. This made more sense to him now. "I don't watch much tv regularly~ I like movies better~ Do you like watching stuff about hunting ghosts and psychics, cutie~?"
"Mm-hmm." She nodded, smiling still at him. "I always thought psychics on TV looked silly, though. You can never tell if they really see anything." As she began to wrap her cards back up once again, she added, "You know, I brought some of my Ghost Hunters DVDs here with me if you wanted to borrow them. They're kind of fun to watch."
"They sound scary~ I don't know if I'm brave enough~" Ravel made a face, and plucked at his sleeve. "I'll stick with my romance movies, hehe~" Ravel giggled. "You can watch with me, cutie~"
"They aren't that scary." Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. The TAPS crew's investigations of that castle somewhere around here had been pretty frightening stuff, especially when one of the investigators had been knocked down. "Okay, well, some of them are, but if you have someone to cling to, it's not so bad~"
She did, however, like romance movies, too, and, well, it meant spending more time with Ravel. Thus, this was clearly a good plan. "Which movies?"
Ravel loved romance movies, especially comedies or those that ended with a happy teary ending.
"I have a collection~! Well, I have more at home but there's a big box under my bed and love's bed too~ You can come over and look~?" He gave her a warm welcoming smile, head tilted toward one uplifted shoulder.
That sounded like fun! How long had it been since she had done something really girly, anyway? "Sure! I'd like that!"
...wait. "Love?" At that, she tilted her head slightly to the side and gave Ravel a curious look. Why couldn't he just use people's names like normal people?
"Love~" Ravel gave a flip of his wrist before leaning in and giving Isabel a gigantic grin, reminded as he was of Cayden.
"My most special person, hehe~"
"Why can't you use names like normal people?" she asked, though her tone was clearly teasing. Ravel wouldn't be Ravel if he actually used people's names when talking about them.
"Ah~ Well~" Ravel lowered his head so his face was behind his hand as he brushed his bangs back into place, forever careful and aware of the image he had to maintain.
"If I don't use people's names, I don't have to be sad when they go away, do I~?" He said without any change in his usual sing-song voice.
His tone never changed, nor did his face from what she could tell, but he seemed almost sad when he said that. People couldn't possibly come in and out of his life as quickly as that, could they?
Frowning, she reached over to take hold of one of his hands. "Ravel..."
Ravel let her hand hold his, looking at the two. It was hard to tell which one was the boy's and which one was the girl's...if you could call him a real boy.
"It's nothing, don't mind me, haha~ I've just been really bad at people's names, hehe~ Terrible memory for details, you know~" He gave her a little laugh before looking up, trying to reassure her.
"But friends should use names with each other." Right? "And people can't really come in and out of your life that quickly, can they?"
"Mm~" Ravel's response was non-committal. He wasn't allowed to have friends. Friends were a danger, a liability, a possibility for exploitation according to his family. But most of all, friends could not be expected to stay. No one would ever stay forever.
Not even Cayden.
Could it be possible that Ravel didn't have many friends at all? But how could that be possible? He had friends, didn't he? There was that dancer and Cayden, and... Cayden's roommate... what was his name...?
Well, if he didn't really have many friends, then the only solution was...
"Ah! I know!" Isabel exclaimed, clapping her hands together and facing Ravel with a bright smile. "We'll be friends!" If she trusted him enough to tell him her secret, then they were friends, right? Yes. "And I'm not going anywhere."
Isabel meant well, he knew. And he genuinely liked her, with her innate curiosity and shy but bold personality. Ravel smiled at her and nodded.
"Silly~ You are my friend~" He leaned forward and gave her a peck on her cheek before turning back to the table.
"Shall we clean up~? We can go back to my place and have a slumber party~!"
"Then say my name," she insisted, frowning at him as he turned away. "If we're friends, then use my name when you talk to me. I don't care if you shorten it, but please." Why this was so important to her, she really didn't know, but, even so, she wanted Ravel to say it. Maybe then it would sink into his head that she really wasn't going anywhere
"Mm~"
Ravel didn't turn back, reaching out to help sort the cards back into one deck.
"It's just a name, cutie~ Does it mean that much to you, cutie~?"
Frowning, she stood to poke at Ravel's arm properly. "No." The cards could wait. This was far more important. "Not 'cutie'. Is-a-bel." Each syllable of her name was accented with another poke.
Ravel's hand tightened on the cards for a second, the feeling of being pressured pushing at him up through his stomach. But he calmed himself. She was trying to be nice. She was his friend. She, like Dima, was only trying to be nice.
He turned and gave her a playful grin, leaning forward and punctuating each syllable that he spoke with a kiss on her forehead.
"Cuuu-tiiiie~ See? I got it~!" Giggles.
What was this? A mental block? It had to be, didn't it? "How about 'Isa'?" She didn't much like that, but it was shorter and technically not even her full name! Just a part of it! Could he say that?
Ravel didn't understand entirely himself the uncomfortableness he had with calling names. It wasn't that he couldn't- he did call people their names on special occasions, those close to him like Alec or even Ky occasionally. But there was a forced unfamiliarity when he did. Names recorded down who they were and in turn, who he was. Who was the person that called Isabel by name? Who was the person she was friends with? He didn't know.
"Isa~?" Ravel toyed with the word over his tongue. For some reason, nicknames were always better. Nicknames were just bordering on monikers, like sweetie and cutie and handsome. They were just pet names really, right? Nothing that tied him to them, that made him hurt when they finally were gone.
"Isa~ It's pretty, cutie~"
In truth, Isabel really didn't understand what the big deal was. A name was just a name, something to identify her. As far as she was concerned, friends should use names when speaking to each other, but that was about it. But Ravel... what was he so worried about? That she would disappear the second he used her name?
"I guess." 'Isa' was certainly better than nothing, she supposed, and, well, she'd take what she could get. Really, though, she should learn to let things like this go, and yet she couldn't. Now, this was important. A mission of sorts. "But, Ravel, is it really that hard for you to call people by name?"
It couldn't be too hard for him, could it? She had heard him use a name once, with that cute guy he had been trying to find friends for way back when. Once they got past this, she would have to ask Ravel if he had been successful in that endeavor.
"I'm...just not used to it~ I don't like names." Ravel looked away again, speaking softly as he began worrying at the frays on the end of his scarf again.
"Names are...people. I don't know how to explain."
He didn't like names? Names were names, names were people, identifying factors unique to each person. What was so bad about that? Did that mean he didn't like his name?
"I just want to try to understand," she said, shifting to put a hand on his shoulder. "I just think it's kind of interesting since I've heard you use names before, like with that guy you were trying to find friends for."
Ravel continued to fidget with his scarf, the white and light blue wool fuzzy against his fingers.
"Sweetie~? He's my ..." Ravel didn't know if Isabel would understand if he explained Alec was his bodyguard. "Cousin."
"He doesn't like it when I call him sweetie all the time~ I don't want to make him mad~" Anything Ravel did would be reported back home, and even though he knew Alec would put up with a lot from him, putting his older cousin in a foul mood could also cost his brother problems. To say Alec did not like Cayden was an understatement.
Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember Ravel ever really calling Cayden by his name, either. So he didn't even use the names of his own family members? There was something wrong with that, somewhere, but she wasn't quite sure where.
"Why doesn't he like it?" Isabel smiled a bit. "I mean, that's just one of your nicknames for people, isn't it? It isn't like it really means anything, does it?"
Ravel's family was beginning to sound weird.
"It's nothing important~ You wouldn't want to hear it anyway, cutie~" Ravel gave the barest of a shake of his head, blonde hair shuffling over his arched eyebrows.
"He thinks I should be a more proper lady-" Ravel caught himself and hurriedly changed the term, "-act more proper."
He wasn't a real lady.
What? That was just ridiculous. She was his friend, damn it, and friends listened when friends had problems. She had been about to say so when Ravel moved on to saying something about how his cousin thought he should act, and Isabel frowned at this.
Families had expectations for their children, certainly, but who were they, really, to tell someone else how they should act? Shouldn't they accept Ravel and love him for who he was? This was his family they were talking about, after all.
"Ravel is Ravel," she said simply, taking hold of tarot deck and long last and tucking it away. "If your own family can't accept who you are and how you want to act, that's their own problem; they're missing out. But you can't be expected to erase who you are just to conform to their standards."
Frowning, she moved around Ravel so she could face him once again, even if he wouldn't meet her gaze. "So screw your cousin. Call him whatever you want to. If he's your family and he cares about you"--how could he not? Family was supposed to care for each other, after all--"then he'll have to suck up and deal, won't he?"
Ravel's face looked troubled and even as Isabel moved in front of him, his eyes remained downcast.
"Ah, they do care about me. It's for my own good, really~ Please don't worry, they're really good to me~ They take care of me and always make sure I'm alright~" Ravel lifted his face, forcing himself to smile at her. It wouldn't do to make Isabel dislike Alec, it wasn't Alec's fault that he worried about girl Ravel so. Girl Ravel was the only one that Alec understood and knew. The problem lay in Ravel's inability to be what was expected. He was the problem not the others.
"He's good to me~ Please don't worry, I have no complaints, really~" The falsity of the words were well-hidden even to himself from the years of practiced lies. "I'm the one that doesn't like to call people by names, it's not him or you or anyone else's fault~ I like you a lot, really~" He smiled at her, with more assurance.
If she had thought his family was strange before, she was firmly convinced they were thousands of times worse now. How was trying to stifle their own child "for his own good"?
"I like you, too, but that isn't even the issue any more!" She frowned. The smile was convincing, as were his words, but how could she possibly be expected to drop this now that it had come up? Maybe she was too argumentative, but, really, what else was she supposed to do? "How can them trying to stifle you possibly be for your own good?" That didn't even make any sense! "If they really care about you, they wouldn't do that. They'd love you for who you are."
She was too idealistic, she supposed, but, really, that was the way it was supposed to work according to all the books and movies. Reality really should work like that, too.
"They're not, it's to protect me." Ravel's voice seemed small, tilted as it always was in a light effeminate tone, practiced to pass for a girl's.
"They're not stifling me..." He didn't know what to say. He couldn't explain what he was, couldn't explain why he'd been given this role to protect what he was for the sake of the family. And for himself...right?
Why was everything that came out of Ravel's mouth refusing to make any sense whatsoever?
"Protect you from what?" she demanded. "It's not like there's anything up here that you need to be protected from."
He had nothing to say. Ravel's lips parted but no words came out. The young man with his long blonde hair, his female clothes, his pretty face looking almost fearful with its smile.
"From-" His voice cracked, a rarity. Was this a bad sign of some kind? He cleared his throat again, making sure when he spoke it was back in his usual effeminate tone.
"Let's just go watch movies, okay? ...Isa?"
She had pushed too far. Even she could tell that. Frowning, she looked away, absently twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. The movies were meant to be a distraction, she was sure, but...
"Ravel... I'm not going to press any more because I know it's upsetting you, but, you know, if we're friends, friends are supposed to be able to tell each other things. I told you my biggest secret, and, well, someday..." She paused, giving him a comforting smile. "Someday, I hope you can tell me yours. Not today, though."
Brightening the smile in hopes of assuring him she wouldn't press any more, she took hold of his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Today, I think we need to get hot cocoa and junk food and go on a romance movie binge." And, wait, had he just called her Isa again? With a little pout, clearly meant to be teasing, she added, "But does the fact that you called me Isa mean you won't call me 'cutie' any more? I think I'll miss it."
Ravel's heart still beat loudly in his chest, but the gripping tightness in his stomach lessened. This was why he couldn't tell, why his father told him he needed to stay quiet. But she was so nice and she couldn't mean any real harm...He knew he couldn't tell Alec, Alec might take it upon himself to warn Isabel off. Maybe he would ask Cayden what to do.
Smiling back at her, he squeezed her hand gently. "Alright, cutie~" Maybe she would just put this behind her, forget about what he'd said, whatever slips he might have made. "Where should we go to get them~?"
Unfortunately, there was very little chance of her forgetting about all of this, but she had learned not to bring it up again, at the very least.
"Doesn't your cousin bake?" she asked, smiling at him. "I bought some of the baked goods from that charity bake sale awhile back. It was really good. Maybe if we ask him nicely, he'll make us something! Barring that, we could always raid the cafes, I guess, but nothing's nearly as good as baked goods."
"We can do that~" Ravel tried to push the matter to the back of his head. Besides, she wouldn't try to talk to Alec or Cayden. It wasn't that important for her to know more about him, he was just Ravel.
"We can ask him to make us something sweet~ He always has supplies in the room~" Ravel looked around and picked up his tote bag, whale side out.
"Ready, then~?"
"Yeah~" She nodded, smiling ever brighter and punching her fist into the air almost childishly. "Let's go~ Onwards for romance movies and sweet baked goods~"
Hehe, let's go then~!" Ravel swung their arms as he opened the door to let them out, whatever tensions and words that had been aired over the tarot cards, temporarily displaced for now.
Isabel
Ravel
She had never ventured onto this part of the campus before. She had nothing to do with the engineering building before, after all, and she wasn't entirely certain where exactly to wait for Ravel. Thus, she stood to the side, out of the way, watching students who worked in the building go in and out, each sort of glancing at her out of the corner of their eyes as they passed.
Frowning a little, Isabel waited still, shifting her weight from one leg to the other as she clutched the book and her tarot cards between her gloved hands, cradling them against her chest as she waited, scanning the area in front of the building as she waited for Ravel.
He wouldn't forget, right?
Ravel hadn't forgotten. Jacket clad arms came around from behind Isabel and caught her in a loose hug as a familiar face leaned in from behind.
"Boo~!" Ravel giggled as he smiled at her. He gave Isabel a quick peck on the cheek for greetings. "I found a room for us~ Did you wait long~?" He was dressed in a girl's fur-hooded jacket and a dark blue scarf that trailed down past a loose top, completely disguising the fact that he had no real chest.
Isabel let out a startled yelp as someone embraced her from behind and, for a moment, she twisted, thinking to whack whoever it was with her poor tarot book. Fortunately, however, she recognized the voice and the face in time and, with a little sigh, she shifted her cards and her book to one arm to swat at Ravel with her now free hand.
"Don't scare me like that!"
It took her a moment or two before she calmed down enough to realize her had kissed her cheek and that he had mentioned he found a room. She shook her head, giving him a bright smile. "I haven't been waiting long, no. I didn't realize you were already here, though. If I knew that, I would have waited inside." Curse England and it's cold weather.
"I got out a bit early so I thought I'd find us some place nice, cutie~" Ravel broke free from the embrace, using a hand to brush his long hair back from his face.
"Sorry~ But let's go inside! It's at least warmer than out here~" Ravel wrinkled his nose at the gloomy English sky above them. "At least if there's snow, it's pretty, otherwise it's just cold~"
Well, at least now they didn't have to go wandering through the building trying to find a free room. That was definitely a plus. She shifted to clutch the books and the cards to her chest once again as he glared at the sky.
"Winters get kind of cold in Boston, but I guess I'm not as used to it as I thought. It's still pretty cold here."
Ravel opened the side door and began leading the way down a long corridor to the empty studyroom he'd found.
"It's so cold! Sometimes I feel like it's never going to warm up again, haha~" He pushed the door open revealing a room with a long table, covered windows and some comfortable looking chairs. Ravel's own tote bag with a cute whale on the front was sitting randomly on the table top.
"How's this, cutie~?"
"It always does, though. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in a place where you could never see snow," she said, smiling a bit as he pushed open the door the room they would be taking over.
It was absolutely perfect! The table and the covered windows and the comfy chairs... perfect! Oooh and was that Ravel's bag on the tabletop? So cute!
"It's great!" She moved past him to get a better look. "Do you think anybody ever uses this?"
"I don't know~ I think it's just one of those study rooms. There seems to be a lot of them down this hall, very private~" Ravel gave a teasing grin before moving to flop down in a chair in a flurry of jacket, scarf and long blonde hair.
"I think it should be okay~"
"Well, if you're sure..." If Ravel had been implying something by saying the hallway itself was very private, it went completely over her head. Isabel smiled a little, nodding to pretend that she understood, and proceeded to slip out of her jacket and draped it over the back of one of the comfy chairs.
"Thanks for helping me with this. I feel bad asking Cayden."
"Why? Love's nice, he wouldn't mind~" Ravel pulled his own jacket off, but left it where it crumpled behind him. He tugged at his sleeves, checking that they were straight before leaning forward to look at Isabel.
"This is fun too though~ We should bring hot cocoa and snacks next time too~"
"I dunno," she confessed as she slid into another chair, flopping back in it and letting her book and cards rest on her lap. "He seems like he's been kind of busy lately, but that might just be me." She shrugged a bit. "And if he's busy, I don't want to bug him."
She would have to remember about the hot cocoa and snacks for the next time, though. If they ever did this again.
"Mm~" Cayden had been a bit...distant lately. Well, not distant but always going out to study or work. Ravel hadn't minded as much, not with Alec stuck to his side like a stoic-faced sidekick but if even other people were starting to notice, maybe it was time he asked his brother...
"Well, what do you want to do then, cutie~? Practice reading~?"
She nodded, looking a little hesitant about doing so. "Do you mind?"
"Nope~" Ravel scooted his chair forward a bit so he could comfortably rest both elbows and head on the table.
"Love used to practice on me at home~ He still does sometimes...when I ask him~"
"It must be nice having a sibling," she said with a smile, setting the deck on the tabletop and starting to unwrap it from it's piece of velvet. "And getting that much practice. I get some at club, but, I mean, I'm hardly as good as Cayden is."
Truth be told, she was a bit more confident about her card reading skills after that session with Vincent last night, although she had to wonder if the "future" cards she had turned over would come to pass. It was entirely possible, but, at the same time, would it break the poor guy?
"Hey, Ravel?" She frowned, absently tracing a finger across the circle of dragons on the back of the topmost card. "Do you think these really work?"
"..." Ravel looked down at the table for a second, watching the tarot cards unfold from its velvet wrapper. "Cousins." It would only get them in trouble if anyone knew.
Hearing her call his name, he looked up, a smile on his face again, finger toying with a long lock of hair.
"What sweetie~?"
Wait. They were cousins? But they seemed so close, so she had just assumed they were brothers. Maybe they had been raised together, then? That would account for the closeness, she supposed, but...
She frowned, glancing over at him once again. "The cards. Do you think you can really predict future events and things with them?"
"What do you believe~?" Ravel reached out to tentatively grace the top of one card, perfectly manicured nails sliding down the curve of the dragon's back till it intertwined with its pair.
"I don't know," she said, frowning. "I'd like to think so, but it's just that..." She sighed, focusing on Ravel's fingers as they brushed against the cards. "Last night, I did a spread for Vincent, and I think I said something about his future that upset him."
"Ah~ The cards weren't nice to him~?" Ravel's finger continued to trace the dragon, following the circle down and around, out and down.
"You think the bad things you read will happen to him~?"
"Maybe. I mean, it wasn't like I said anybody was going to die or drew the Tower card or anything like that," she said, frowning a bit more, "but he didn't seem happy with what I said at all."
"The cards are suggestions, thoughts~" Ravel said, tapping the card before flipping it over with a graceful slide of two fingers.
"Maybe he's been worried about something~ What you said must have made sense to him or he wouldn't have cared~"
She had resorted the cards back into their proper suits and denominations before she had left her dorm room earlier, and, thus, the card Ravel turned over was The Fool, a young man standing before a split path, one clearly more difficult than the other, little dragons all around.
"Well, apparently, I was pretty dead-on with the things I said before I got to that card, anyway."
"He got luck with you then, cutie~" Ravel picked up the card and waved it at Isabel before breaking into a little smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Or maybe he just wanted to believe in what he heard~"
"Maybe," she said, smiling a little back at him. His attempts at lightening the mood had definitely worked, though. "I guess I just wish there was a way to know for sure." She shrugged a bit at this. "I mean, if the psychics on TV can supposedly do it..."
Of course, now, what was she supposed to say? 'Why couldn't there be people like me who could?' It wasn't as though her type of psychic was exactly the same thing, after all.
"I always thought they looked funny on television~!" Ravel giggled, playing with the card now, waving it like an airplane before setting it down on the table next to its mates.
"They're always so bouncy and happy~ Silly, I think~"
"I guess so," she agreed. She had always thought the psychics on TV like Miss Cleo or whoever looked and sounded kind of ridiculous, herself. "But, I mean, my point is that if there are people who claim to do it on TV, then, maybe, there are people in real life who can do it, too. Do you think so?"
After all, spirits were real enough and she could sense them. If there were people like her who could see and have conversations with them, why couldn't there also be people who could see the future?
"Ah...maybe~" Ravel's eyes were downcast, his face still with that same playful trace of a smile, but his gaze was ...not wary, but filled with a sense of reminder.
"But I think life would be hard for that type of person. Always living with other's futures, I wonder if they would have time for their own today." He said softly.
"I don't know." She frowned a little, leaning forward a bit to watch Ravel's face. There was something there, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. "The person who could see things like that is still a person. They have the right to live their own life, too. People should respect that."
"Hehe, you think so?" Ravel leaned back, plastering a girly grin showing just a hint of teeth on his face. "What would you do if you could tell the future, cutie~?
"I don't know," she confessed, laughing a bit. "I can't say that I've given it much thought, but, I think I'd like to be able to tell what's fixed and what could be changed. I'd want to help people."
Help more people, she supposed. That seemed like all she ever did lately. Somehow, to her, seeing the future in that sense seemed a lot more beneficial than being able to sense spirits. After all, what exactly could she help a spirit do if she ever was able to talk to them? Help them pact to people?
Was that really helping them, though...?
"But how would you know who to help~? Would you only pick your friends, family~?" Ravel's fingers trailed down the long lock that hung by the side of his face, brushing his fingers through, brushing the hair straight. You couldn't help everyone. And when you helped one, you could change the future for others.
"Usually, the people who need the most help aren't the ones you're related to or know well." At least that was how it seemed to her. She shrugged. "But at least someone who has those abilities has the chance to help somebody. Unlike me."
Sure. She could see spirits. Who did that really help?
"You don't need to see the future to help people, cutie~ That's just silly~ People who see the future are probably terrible and weird~ Who wants to be friends with someone who knows all their secrets~" Ravel gave a little laugh before reaching out to touch Isabel's wrist.
"Why are you so sad about wanting to help people by seeing the future, cutie~? Did something happen~?"
Did you find out what I am?
"No, nothing happened." It was silly of Ravel to think that, really. Just like it was silly of her to be all depressed by this. "Some types of psychic seem to be more useful than other types, that's all."
And, anyway, Ravel didn't have to worry about her treating him differently if she ever found out what he was. It wouldn't have made a difference at all. Ravel was Ravel, after all, and one of the nicest people she'd met. Finding out what he was wouldn't change anything.
"Really~? I guess it'd depend on what you call helpful~ I think if you could know what happens in the future, it's just troublesome~ It'd be for fun to have a power that can do something different~ That won't cause harm~" Ravel tilted his chin down, a practiced feminine action that accentuated his long face and large eyes.
"Didn't you want to practice, cutie~? Read for me~ I want to hear your pretty voice, hehe~" He giggled, leaning forward to the table and Isabel with a smile.
Right. That was right. She had promised Ravel a reading. Maybe she'd get around to telling him that she could see spirits later.
With a little smile, she reached across the table and took hold of her tarot cards, slowly shuffling them as she went. "Do you have anything you want to know?"
"Mm mm~ Tell me about anything, cutie~" Ravel rested his chin in the valley of his left hand, fingers against his own cheek. It was a familiar feel to have someone read for him- Cayden used to do it often when they were younger. And when he was more free and not holed up in the library or wherever else he disappeared to these days.
"Man, what is it with you people and not knowing what you want a spread about?" she asked, tone teasing as she continued to shuffle her deck. "Should I just do a past, present, future spread for you, then?"
"Haha~!" Ravel laughed at Isabel's playful jab. "Sure, cutie~"
"Do you have anything you'd like to know if you were getting your future read~?" She was a good shuffler, hands were steady.
Isabel laughed as she shuffled still, focusing slightly as Iris has taught her in their training sessions together. She had to keep some sort of concentration, else she might miss when the cards felt right to her. "I'd settle for knowing if I'm going to survive the school year, personally."
"That's not very hard, sweetie~ haha~" Ravel laughed. Survival? That was a rather general desire. Most people wanted to know about money, fortunes, romance, power. Is this investment good, will I make money off of that acquisition, is she cheating on me with another man? Ravel had heard many questions over his years of supplying fortunes, every since he was young enough for his parents to sit in front of a crystal ball and feign fakery mystics for his real psychic skills.
"Pretend I don't know anything about reading, explain to me then, cutie~"
"What's there to explain?" she asked as the last of the cards finally slid out of her hands to land on top of her newly shuffled deck. The energy around it felt different now, almost as if it was waiting, and, seemingly satisfied, she held the deck out to Ravel. "Your turn to shuffle, but try not to reverse any of the cards? My deck can't be read in the reverse. And since you don't have a question, just... focus your energy on the cards."
She really needed more practice with people who didn't have anything they wanted to know.
"Focusing~" Ravel replied in a sing-song voice. The cards were pretty, with a circular dragon design on the back. Ravel was not as fluid of a shuffler as Cayden but he didn't drop any cards, sliding them in and out of the deck slowly and carefully.
Isabel had seen Cayden shuffle his cards before, and now that she had some of Iris' training behind her, she could properly appreciate how fluid his movements were. Ravel had clearly handled cards before, though he lacked some of the fluidity his cousin had.
She smiled a little as she watched him. "So Cayden used to practice with you, huh?"
At the mention of his brother's name, Ravel's face warmed and visibly lit up unconsciously.
"Yes~ He picked up cards when he was younger and he always practiced with people around him~ Love had a lot of friends from his school but he always still practiced with me at home~" Those days, locked away for protection at home, the only thing he had to look forward to was his brother's return to the house, but he hadn't minded. The most important thing then and even now was that Cayden wanted to be with him.
"Ah, no wonder Cayden's so good at it," Isabel said with a little smile. "If he picked it up when he was little, he'd have to be fabulous at it now~"
"He likes it a lot~ It helps him relax~" Ravel finished shuffling and neatly tapped the deck in the palm of his hand to straighten everything out.
"Why did you learn, sweetie~?"
"A friend of the family reads." She smiled even more, recalling rainy days where he had pulled out his well-loved deck of cards and had shown them to her. At the time, she had been more fascinated by the pretty pictures. Meanings? Who cared? The pictures were pretty. "He gave me that deck, actually."
"Oh~? No wonder you were worried about losing it then~" Ravel held the deck out for Isabel to take.
"I like new decks because the pictures are so pretty, but love says the old decks are more interesting~ They have experience~" Ravel emphasized the last word with a grin
"It's true. Uncle thinks that decks should never be discarded, but passed on, instead. He says they feel different when they're ready to move on." Laughing a bit, she pushed the cards back towards Ravel. "Not yet, silly. You still have to cut the deck. Cut it into three piles, then put it back together in a different order than you took it apart."
"See~? You know the steps~" Ravel giggled and cut the deck at a random spot and then placed it on the table. He made his piles and set them on the table. His hands were well lotioned, well manicured and one of Ravel's favorite traits after his long blonde hair. He slid on pile across and then reassembled the deck on the tabletop.
"Okay, sweetie~"
"The steps I know." She smiled, pulling the deck back towards her once again. Once it was neatly settled in front of her, she slid the pile across the tabletop, spreading the cards out in front of her. "It's the meaning of some of the cards that I can't get."
She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, hovering her right hand over the line of cards before her. Slowly, it passed over the line of cards, pausing just long enough to draw three cards from different areas of the line. Her cards selected, she reassembled the remaining cards and set them back on their velvet covering, arranging the cards she had drawn in front of her with her left hand.
"You want the book?" she asked, holding it up to show him. "Or do you have the cards memorized by now?"
Ravel reached over Isabel's arm, brushing his hand over her sleeve before before taking the book.
"I'll keep it just in case~" He touched the velvet covering with his index. "Soft~"
"Might be a good idea," she said with a little laugh as she flipped over the first card. There lay a sleeping dragon in an open space upon rocky ground, a young woman curled up beside him. Four swords were spread out neatly before the dragon.
"All right. So your past is the Four of Swords." She paused, taking a moment to recall the meaning of the card before she spoke. "Before this card came into play, something happened on your end of things. I don't know what; I can't tell, but it was stressful or upsetting for you. Some time has passed since then, though, since I'm not getting an anxious sort of feeling; it's passed and you've accepted it, I think."
She frowned a bit, attempting to recall what exactly it felt like to her. It took her a moment or two before she found the words. "It kind of reminds me of the calm before a storm, you know? Like they're preparing for something that could happen soon."
"Something bad happened~? Sounds scary~" Ravel was still leaning forward on the table, twirling his hair on his finger.
"Well, not like bad bad or anything. But it upset you or bothered you on some level." She frowned a bit, glancing over at him. "Does that make sense to you?"
"Mm~ Keep going~ Can you tell me more~?"
"Not about that." She shook her head, frowning a bit more. "I just sort of get feelings sometimes when looking at the cards, but I can't get specifics or anything. Sorry."
"It's okay~" Ravel tugged at the tails of his scarf lightly, wrapping his scarf tails in his hand to keep warm. It wasn't that chilly but he liked the feeling of fabric over his hand.
Well, at least he wasn't pressuring her for more information. Giving him a little smile, she flipped over the next card, much like any other card bearing this name, save for the dragons watching him.
"Your present is the Hanged Man," she said, frowning. "Typically, this means some sort of suspended activity, but here..." She frowned a bit. "I'm hesitant to say that. It's more of a mental sort of suspension? It's like you feel like you're being pulled in multiple different directions and you're trying to stay in the middle of it. I think the book also says something about it pointing to a challenge in the way you think and live."
The more she thought about it, though, the more she wondered if she was doing something wrong. After all, none of this particularly sounded like Ravel. Ravel was smiling all the time. He was happy. He had his cousin here. Nothing ever bothered him. Ever. Had she misjudged and pulled the wrong cards?
"I sound confused~ Does it say more on that~?" They were only cards, made to help clear the mind, Ravel thought to himself. Even if it was all very true.
"A challenge~?" Like living a girl's life? Being a girl, pampering himself, dressing like a woman, talking, eating, doing everything to force himself to accept that his life would only be possibly, only matter if he could pull off the facade of being a female. And even here, away from the family, able to change his sister title to one of a cousin, even here he still couldn't break away. He didn't know how to move and act like a boy anymore, how to not talk in an asexual manner, how to not move his hips, not swing his hair, not flirt. He'd lost these years ago, castrated much like his role of heir.
"Not really, but I get the sense that the hanged man here is definitely you." She frowned at the card some more, fingers ghosting over the dragons on the rocks, watching, waiting. "I feel like they're waiting to see if you're going to fall."
You have to be careful, Ravel. You are the most important person in this family. Everyone is relying on you. You have a position to protect, do you understand? You have to be careful with everything you do. Understand?
Ravel controlled himself carefully, not letting how closely the comment hit home to show on his face.
"The hanged man sounds terrible~" He watched Isabel's finger moving over the dragons and could almost imagine the dragons staring at him, watching him with judging demanding eyes just like his father and uncle and everyone else in the family.
"Only in this case," she confessed, frowning a bit. "I've seen other cases where he's actually something positive, more like a warning to pay attention."
"But it's not for me~?" Ravel's eyes kept focused on the cards, intently starring at the finger and the dragons and the eyes of the watchers.
"No, in this case, they're definitely silently judging." She shifted to look at him once again, eyes apologetic. "Sorry, Ravel."
"Hehe~ Keep going~"
Ravel gave her a smile. The reader was not at fault. It was his own fault for being sensitive to the cards. This was just a practice, that's all.
"What else can you tell me, cutie~?
"Well, your future's the only card left, so..." With a little smile, she flipped over the final card. On it were baby fire dragons, a singular sword and a volcano in the background. "Ace of Swords! You have some important activity or decisions going on in your future, Ravel!" So why were her eyes going to volcano at the top of the card? "But I don't think it's going to be very good."
"Ace of Swords~ I have to be careful of a challenge coming~"
That wasn't so bad. The future was the one realm that Ravel knew was filled with possibility- just like the Ace of Swords. But something bad...Cayden?
"Mm." She nodded, tapping the volcano at the top of the card. "See how this is erupting, though? That's the part of the card I'm drawn to."
"What do you mean~?" Ravel's gaze followed to where Isabel's finger pointed.
"Okay, look, I know it's weird," she said, twisting a bit to look at him, "but sometimes, I'm drawn to specific places on cards. That's where I'm drawn to." She tapped the volcano again. "I think it might be something big..."
"Something big will happen soon that's bad then." Ravel gave the volcano another once over. None of his cards were good cards, none of them held any hope or suggestions of a possibility for something different. Just trouble, waiting, confusion and now ...
"Or explosive." She frowned, shaking her head. "But, I mean, that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen or anything, right?"
"Of course, cutie~" Ravel heard the slight worry in the girl's own voice and quickly reached over and touched her hand and wrist soothingly.
"It's only a card reading~ Unless you really have the powers to see the future, cutie~"
Aww, Ravel was so sweet. She smiled back at him then, shaking her head as she shifted to gather the cards up once again with her free hand. She could kind of see something, but the future wasn't it.
"No, I can't see anything like that." Maybe she should tell him. It was Ravel, after all. He wouldn't think she was weird because of it, would he?
"Mm~" Ravel watched her clear up the cards thoughtfully.
"Is something wrong~? Did you forget which card means what~?" He teased lightly, fingers still resting gently on her wrist.
"Well, no." Clearly, she had done better! The fact that she was a bit more confident with her cards was definitely a good thing, but that was hardly the first thing on her mind. "But..."
She really had to get past that fear that people would think she was strange. If they were really her friends, they'd like her still no matter what, wouldn't they? Zach still liked her. Emilian still liked her. Ravel would, too, wouldn't he?
"Okay, look, I know this is kind of going to sound like it's coming out of left field here, but if I were to tell you I was kind of psychic, what would you say?"
Ravel's eyes swept downwards slowly, wondering what she meant.
"Psychic~?" He had to force himself not to pull away in fear, keeping his hand resting there, gently, keeping himself under control. He checked his shields, making sure he wasn't reading her. No this must be some type of test. She couldn't know, so this must mean something else than what he feared.
"What do you mean, cutie~?" Ravel looked up at Isabel, uncertainty in his eyes. "What kind of psychic~?"
There was uncertainty there in his eyes, a look that made her look away, closing her eyes. This was a bad idea. Ravel probably thought she was crazy or something. Just what she needed.
"...it's... well..." Great. She couldn't exactly say 'no, forget it', now, could she? She had started this. She had to finish it, no matter how bad of an idea it turned out to be. "Er, well, you know how there are people who say they can see ghosts and stuff like that?"
Ghosts? ...Ravel tried to think. This didn't seem to be heading down anything bad, right? Ghosts had nothing to do with psychics unless-
"You can see ghosts?" Ravel's eyes were wide with surprise. That was different. "Really~?"
There was surprise on his face now. Was that good or bad? Isabel couldn't tell, but he wasn't recoiling in fear or anything. Maybe it was good?
"Well, not ghosts exactly." How to explain this? "They're called spirits, from another plane. Unless they manifest, we can't see them or hear them. I'm supposed to, since I can sense them if they're in the area while they're dematerialized, but, yeah. That's really about it."
She had to wonder, though. Now that Ravel knew, what would he do? What would he say?
Ahhh...this made a lot more sense. A look of visible relief came over Ravel and he seemed to relax into a smile.
"Spirits~ So you can see spirits~" Ravel brushed a stray strand of hair that had fallen forward into his eyes and waved his spare hand.
"That's nothing to be nervous about, sweetie~! Is that why you were acting so funny~?"
Well, that was strange. He seemed almost relieved now. Had he been worried before? But worried about what?
"Yeah." It seemed almost silly now, especially since Ravel was actually being fairly calm about it. "I've gotten better about it, but I still get worried people are going to think I'm a freak or something..."
"Well it is different~ And not everyone can see them when they're not materialized," Ravel made a little gesture to emphasize with his hand. "But isn't it a harmless power~? You can't hurt anyone with it, so no one should be worried, right~?"
"I guess." She sighed. "But when you spend most of your life being told you're seeing things, you kind of start to believe it."
"Haha~" Ravel couldn't help but laugh at the look of pestered resignation Isabel was exuding. Moving over so he was a bit closer, he leaned on Isabel's arm.
"Well, you are seeing things~ They're just really there~ Hehe~" Ravel pursed his lips a little.
"So have you met a lot of them around here~?" Spirits made Ravel a little nervous, a little relieved and was all in all a bag of mixed emotions. But as long as he consciously didn't try to look at them with his mind, he couldn't tell the different just by being with them. And when it came to things that could trouble him, he'd long learned to pretend it wasn't there. It must be different for Isabel though...he wondered if she could just stop looking and mused that it probably didn't work the same way. What she saw was with her eyes, what he saw was with his mind.
"Yeah, but you know how people are nowadays. They're all 'if I can see it, and I can touch it, then it's real'." She groaned. "My parents thought I was making things up to get attention."
She smiled a little at that, though. Ravel was right, after all. Maybe she really had been thinking about this all wrong.
"Well, there are more than I thought," she admitted, smiling, "but I haven't met all of them. I've met a couple, though, and they're really nice, but I've only met materialized ones so far. Maybe dematerialized ones are different."
"You can see them but you don't ever try to talk to them~?"
Ravel was curious what was the main difference between materialized and dematerialized. He should ask Cayden, Narcissus hadn't been around for a while, which made Ravel secretly happy.
"I probably could, and I think I'm supposed to talk to them," she confessed, frowning a bit, "but I can't hear them if they say anything back." Never mind the fact that if she saw a silhouette of them while they were dematerialized, she counted herself lucky she had seen anything at all.
Ahh~" Ravel nodded. "So you can't talk to them~ Well, that almost makes them like ghosts~" He mused, nibbling on his lower lip gently.
"I guess." She smiled a bit. "But people can kind of talk to ghosts, you know. They do it all the time on Ghost Hunters; they're called EVPs."
"Ghost hunters~?" Now Ravel did look confused. "Is that another club~?"
She laughed, shaking her head. "No, silly! It's a TV show."
Did they not have it in Australia? That was tragic.
"Ohhhh~! A television show!" Ravel laughed. This made more sense to him now. "I don't watch much tv regularly~ I like movies better~ Do you like watching stuff about hunting ghosts and psychics, cutie~?"
"Mm-hmm." She nodded, smiling still at him. "I always thought psychics on TV looked silly, though. You can never tell if they really see anything." As she began to wrap her cards back up once again, she added, "You know, I brought some of my Ghost Hunters DVDs here with me if you wanted to borrow them. They're kind of fun to watch."
"They sound scary~ I don't know if I'm brave enough~" Ravel made a face, and plucked at his sleeve. "I'll stick with my romance movies, hehe~" Ravel giggled. "You can watch with me, cutie~"
"They aren't that scary." Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. The TAPS crew's investigations of that castle somewhere around here had been pretty frightening stuff, especially when one of the investigators had been knocked down. "Okay, well, some of them are, but if you have someone to cling to, it's not so bad~"
She did, however, like romance movies, too, and, well, it meant spending more time with Ravel. Thus, this was clearly a good plan. "Which movies?"
Ravel loved romance movies, especially comedies or those that ended with a happy teary ending.
"I have a collection~! Well, I have more at home but there's a big box under my bed and love's bed too~ You can come over and look~?" He gave her a warm welcoming smile, head tilted toward one uplifted shoulder.
That sounded like fun! How long had it been since she had done something really girly, anyway? "Sure! I'd like that!"
...wait. "Love?" At that, she tilted her head slightly to the side and gave Ravel a curious look. Why couldn't he just use people's names like normal people?
"Love~" Ravel gave a flip of his wrist before leaning in and giving Isabel a gigantic grin, reminded as he was of Cayden.
"My most special person, hehe~"
"Why can't you use names like normal people?" she asked, though her tone was clearly teasing. Ravel wouldn't be Ravel if he actually used people's names when talking about them.
"Ah~ Well~" Ravel lowered his head so his face was behind his hand as he brushed his bangs back into place, forever careful and aware of the image he had to maintain.
"If I don't use people's names, I don't have to be sad when they go away, do I~?" He said without any change in his usual sing-song voice.
His tone never changed, nor did his face from what she could tell, but he seemed almost sad when he said that. People couldn't possibly come in and out of his life as quickly as that, could they?
Frowning, she reached over to take hold of one of his hands. "Ravel..."
Ravel let her hand hold his, looking at the two. It was hard to tell which one was the boy's and which one was the girl's...if you could call him a real boy.
"It's nothing, don't mind me, haha~ I've just been really bad at people's names, hehe~ Terrible memory for details, you know~" He gave her a little laugh before looking up, trying to reassure her.
"But friends should use names with each other." Right? "And people can't really come in and out of your life that quickly, can they?"
"Mm~" Ravel's response was non-committal. He wasn't allowed to have friends. Friends were a danger, a liability, a possibility for exploitation according to his family. But most of all, friends could not be expected to stay. No one would ever stay forever.
Not even Cayden.
Could it be possible that Ravel didn't have many friends at all? But how could that be possible? He had friends, didn't he? There was that dancer and Cayden, and... Cayden's roommate... what was his name...?
Well, if he didn't really have many friends, then the only solution was...
"Ah! I know!" Isabel exclaimed, clapping her hands together and facing Ravel with a bright smile. "We'll be friends!" If she trusted him enough to tell him her secret, then they were friends, right? Yes. "And I'm not going anywhere."
Isabel meant well, he knew. And he genuinely liked her, with her innate curiosity and shy but bold personality. Ravel smiled at her and nodded.
"Silly~ You are my friend~" He leaned forward and gave her a peck on her cheek before turning back to the table.
"Shall we clean up~? We can go back to my place and have a slumber party~!"
"Then say my name," she insisted, frowning at him as he turned away. "If we're friends, then use my name when you talk to me. I don't care if you shorten it, but please." Why this was so important to her, she really didn't know, but, even so, she wanted Ravel to say it. Maybe then it would sink into his head that she really wasn't going anywhere
"Mm~"
Ravel didn't turn back, reaching out to help sort the cards back into one deck.
"It's just a name, cutie~ Does it mean that much to you, cutie~?"
Frowning, she stood to poke at Ravel's arm properly. "No." The cards could wait. This was far more important. "Not 'cutie'. Is-a-bel." Each syllable of her name was accented with another poke.
Ravel's hand tightened on the cards for a second, the feeling of being pressured pushing at him up through his stomach. But he calmed himself. She was trying to be nice. She was his friend. She, like Dima, was only trying to be nice.
He turned and gave her a playful grin, leaning forward and punctuating each syllable that he spoke with a kiss on her forehead.
"Cuuu-tiiiie~ See? I got it~!" Giggles.
What was this? A mental block? It had to be, didn't it? "How about 'Isa'?" She didn't much like that, but it was shorter and technically not even her full name! Just a part of it! Could he say that?
Ravel didn't understand entirely himself the uncomfortableness he had with calling names. It wasn't that he couldn't- he did call people their names on special occasions, those close to him like Alec or even Ky occasionally. But there was a forced unfamiliarity when he did. Names recorded down who they were and in turn, who he was. Who was the person that called Isabel by name? Who was the person she was friends with? He didn't know.
"Isa~?" Ravel toyed with the word over his tongue. For some reason, nicknames were always better. Nicknames were just bordering on monikers, like sweetie and cutie and handsome. They were just pet names really, right? Nothing that tied him to them, that made him hurt when they finally were gone.
"Isa~ It's pretty, cutie~"
In truth, Isabel really didn't understand what the big deal was. A name was just a name, something to identify her. As far as she was concerned, friends should use names when speaking to each other, but that was about it. But Ravel... what was he so worried about? That she would disappear the second he used her name?
"I guess." 'Isa' was certainly better than nothing, she supposed, and, well, she'd take what she could get. Really, though, she should learn to let things like this go, and yet she couldn't. Now, this was important. A mission of sorts. "But, Ravel, is it really that hard for you to call people by name?"
It couldn't be too hard for him, could it? She had heard him use a name once, with that cute guy he had been trying to find friends for way back when. Once they got past this, she would have to ask Ravel if he had been successful in that endeavor.
"I'm...just not used to it~ I don't like names." Ravel looked away again, speaking softly as he began worrying at the frays on the end of his scarf again.
"Names are...people. I don't know how to explain."
He didn't like names? Names were names, names were people, identifying factors unique to each person. What was so bad about that? Did that mean he didn't like his name?
"I just want to try to understand," she said, shifting to put a hand on his shoulder. "I just think it's kind of interesting since I've heard you use names before, like with that guy you were trying to find friends for."
Ravel continued to fidget with his scarf, the white and light blue wool fuzzy against his fingers.
"Sweetie~? He's my ..." Ravel didn't know if Isabel would understand if he explained Alec was his bodyguard. "Cousin."
"He doesn't like it when I call him sweetie all the time~ I don't want to make him mad~" Anything Ravel did would be reported back home, and even though he knew Alec would put up with a lot from him, putting his older cousin in a foul mood could also cost his brother problems. To say Alec did not like Cayden was an understatement.
Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember Ravel ever really calling Cayden by his name, either. So he didn't even use the names of his own family members? There was something wrong with that, somewhere, but she wasn't quite sure where.
"Why doesn't he like it?" Isabel smiled a bit. "I mean, that's just one of your nicknames for people, isn't it? It isn't like it really means anything, does it?"
Ravel's family was beginning to sound weird.
"It's nothing important~ You wouldn't want to hear it anyway, cutie~" Ravel gave the barest of a shake of his head, blonde hair shuffling over his arched eyebrows.
"He thinks I should be a more proper lady-" Ravel caught himself and hurriedly changed the term, "-act more proper."
He wasn't a real lady.
What? That was just ridiculous. She was his friend, damn it, and friends listened when friends had problems. She had been about to say so when Ravel moved on to saying something about how his cousin thought he should act, and Isabel frowned at this.
Families had expectations for their children, certainly, but who were they, really, to tell someone else how they should act? Shouldn't they accept Ravel and love him for who he was? This was his family they were talking about, after all.
"Ravel is Ravel," she said simply, taking hold of tarot deck and long last and tucking it away. "If your own family can't accept who you are and how you want to act, that's their own problem; they're missing out. But you can't be expected to erase who you are just to conform to their standards."
Frowning, she moved around Ravel so she could face him once again, even if he wouldn't meet her gaze. "So screw your cousin. Call him whatever you want to. If he's your family and he cares about you"--how could he not? Family was supposed to care for each other, after all--"then he'll have to suck up and deal, won't he?"
Ravel's face looked troubled and even as Isabel moved in front of him, his eyes remained downcast.
"Ah, they do care about me. It's for my own good, really~ Please don't worry, they're really good to me~ They take care of me and always make sure I'm alright~" Ravel lifted his face, forcing himself to smile at her. It wouldn't do to make Isabel dislike Alec, it wasn't Alec's fault that he worried about girl Ravel so. Girl Ravel was the only one that Alec understood and knew. The problem lay in Ravel's inability to be what was expected. He was the problem not the others.
"He's good to me~ Please don't worry, I have no complaints, really~" The falsity of the words were well-hidden even to himself from the years of practiced lies. "I'm the one that doesn't like to call people by names, it's not him or you or anyone else's fault~ I like you a lot, really~" He smiled at her, with more assurance.
If she had thought his family was strange before, she was firmly convinced they were thousands of times worse now. How was trying to stifle their own child "for his own good"?
"I like you, too, but that isn't even the issue any more!" She frowned. The smile was convincing, as were his words, but how could she possibly be expected to drop this now that it had come up? Maybe she was too argumentative, but, really, what else was she supposed to do? "How can them trying to stifle you possibly be for your own good?" That didn't even make any sense! "If they really care about you, they wouldn't do that. They'd love you for who you are."
She was too idealistic, she supposed, but, really, that was the way it was supposed to work according to all the books and movies. Reality really should work like that, too.
"They're not, it's to protect me." Ravel's voice seemed small, tilted as it always was in a light effeminate tone, practiced to pass for a girl's.
"They're not stifling me..." He didn't know what to say. He couldn't explain what he was, couldn't explain why he'd been given this role to protect what he was for the sake of the family. And for himself...right?
Why was everything that came out of Ravel's mouth refusing to make any sense whatsoever?
"Protect you from what?" she demanded. "It's not like there's anything up here that you need to be protected from."
He had nothing to say. Ravel's lips parted but no words came out. The young man with his long blonde hair, his female clothes, his pretty face looking almost fearful with its smile.
"From-" His voice cracked, a rarity. Was this a bad sign of some kind? He cleared his throat again, making sure when he spoke it was back in his usual effeminate tone.
"Let's just go watch movies, okay? ...Isa?"
She had pushed too far. Even she could tell that. Frowning, she looked away, absently twirling a strand of hair around her fingers. The movies were meant to be a distraction, she was sure, but...
"Ravel... I'm not going to press any more because I know it's upsetting you, but, you know, if we're friends, friends are supposed to be able to tell each other things. I told you my biggest secret, and, well, someday..." She paused, giving him a comforting smile. "Someday, I hope you can tell me yours. Not today, though."
Brightening the smile in hopes of assuring him she wouldn't press any more, she took hold of his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Today, I think we need to get hot cocoa and junk food and go on a romance movie binge." And, wait, had he just called her Isa again? With a little pout, clearly meant to be teasing, she added, "But does the fact that you called me Isa mean you won't call me 'cutie' any more? I think I'll miss it."
Ravel's heart still beat loudly in his chest, but the gripping tightness in his stomach lessened. This was why he couldn't tell, why his father told him he needed to stay quiet. But she was so nice and she couldn't mean any real harm...He knew he couldn't tell Alec, Alec might take it upon himself to warn Isabel off. Maybe he would ask Cayden what to do.
Smiling back at her, he squeezed her hand gently. "Alright, cutie~" Maybe she would just put this behind her, forget about what he'd said, whatever slips he might have made. "Where should we go to get them~?"
Unfortunately, there was very little chance of her forgetting about all of this, but she had learned not to bring it up again, at the very least.
"Doesn't your cousin bake?" she asked, smiling at him. "I bought some of the baked goods from that charity bake sale awhile back. It was really good. Maybe if we ask him nicely, he'll make us something! Barring that, we could always raid the cafes, I guess, but nothing's nearly as good as baked goods."
"We can do that~" Ravel tried to push the matter to the back of his head. Besides, she wouldn't try to talk to Alec or Cayden. It wasn't that important for her to know more about him, he was just Ravel.
"We can ask him to make us something sweet~ He always has supplies in the room~" Ravel looked around and picked up his tote bag, whale side out.
"Ready, then~?"
"Yeah~" She nodded, smiling ever brighter and punching her fist into the air almost childishly. "Let's go~ Onwards for romance movies and sweet baked goods~"
Hehe, let's go then~!" Ravel swung their arms as he opened the door to let them out, whatever tensions and words that had been aired over the tarot cards, temporarily displaced for now.