found some frisbees today, finally...
right now im feeling perticularly bad...and i gotta get it out somewhere. where better to do that than here. here goes my long ranting. where to start...
i've felt rather lonely and bored lately (all summer...). i know that some people are around to do stuff, but thats not quite the problem. theres fuckin nothing to do with them. like, six flags was fun, but i mean i couldnt go there with freakin EVERYONE. And the one person i've been in contact alot this summer, is my TWICE ex-girlfriend.
you heard me right, TWICE.
she's easily the sweetest girl (scratch that...PERSON) i've ever known. and i feel like shit because i let her down, 2 times. and she acts like it never happened, but i hate how it still bugs me. i honestly worship our friendship, i love being around her when i am, and talk to her when i do but the past gets to me ('I So Hate Consequences' starts up...gotta hate the syncing with my mood). and we're different people, she's always with her friends or off being busy, and i just sit here, idle and lonely. she likes computers, i cant understand them for my life.
I want to be out doing stuff. I want to be hanging with my friends. I WANT to be outside, out of the house, whatever. But what do I do?
The second thing getting at me is just my look. I gotta fuckin exercise. im not like terribly fat or something, i just wanna get more muscle...get my upper body toned. an at-home thing'd never work. i'd do it for like a week tops then stop. i'm thinking of a gym thing, but i'd be fucking alone. i hate being alone, and being the only teen amidst all the 50+ year-olds at the gym? fuck that. really.
any suggestions'd be welcome. i hope this shitty feeling goes away. i dont wanna go to SC being depressed. until later.
i've felt rather lonely and bored lately (all summer...). i know that some people are around to do stuff, but thats not quite the problem. theres fuckin nothing to do with them. like, six flags was fun, but i mean i couldnt go there with freakin EVERYONE. And the one person i've been in contact alot this summer, is my TWICE ex-girlfriend.
you heard me right, TWICE.
she's easily the sweetest girl (scratch that...PERSON) i've ever known. and i feel like shit because i let her down, 2 times. and she acts like it never happened, but i hate how it still bugs me. i honestly worship our friendship, i love being around her when i am, and talk to her when i do but the past gets to me ('I So Hate Consequences' starts up...gotta hate the syncing with my mood). and we're different people, she's always with her friends or off being busy, and i just sit here, idle and lonely. she likes computers, i cant understand them for my life.
I want to be out doing stuff. I want to be hanging with my friends. I WANT to be outside, out of the house, whatever. But what do I do?
The second thing getting at me is just my look. I gotta fuckin exercise. im not like terribly fat or something, i just wanna get more muscle...get my upper body toned. an at-home thing'd never work. i'd do it for like a week tops then stop. i'm thinking of a gym thing, but i'd be fucking alone. i hate being alone, and being the only teen amidst all the 50+ year-olds at the gym? fuck that. really.
any suggestions'd be welcome. i hope this shitty feeling goes away. i dont wanna go to SC being depressed. until later.