what the fux is with me?

[csl66]

This is really pathetic that I'm doing two posts in one day. THat puts me at a 9 on the loser chart. WEll anyways folks....I've realized I've got problems. I don't know how to deal w/ myself. Lately I've been soooo hypocritical and been super anti-drinking/smoking...I shouldn't be because I've done both of these.I think I'm having trouble letting

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[__ismypentagram]

*slap*

there.

seriously mike...wtf. why am i commenting. i'm just gonna call you in like, five minutes so why am i bothering? well, i'll say it here too. mike, you're a smart boy. and so are your friends. and so am i. none of us are dumb enough to like, shoot up heroine and become cocaine addicts and alchoholics. i know you're gonna be like,"well, you don't know that. what if just drinking leads to worse things?". but you know what? thats why everyone has friends. so that if they do get out of hand, their friends can help them get out of that situation. maybe enzo's in the hospital because he has been too distant from his sober friends and is hanging out with matt and his other friends that do drugs too much. i don't know. but i really think that whatever friends your surrounded by, thats the direction you're going to head. i know i would never do anything worse than pot or drinking, and that i wouldn't become addicted because i have friends that care about me, and i have you to kick my ass if i were to ever get to that point. and with such good friends around me, leading such good examples, i know i would never want to stray far from the example they lead. i would never want to seriously dissappoint you or any of my friends.

and as for breaking the edge, i dunno. ask ross what he thinks of sXe. it kind of helped me put things into perspective. he said it was really more of a trendy thing. i mean, don't feel depressed over a trend mike. don't let a trend make you feel less important than you are. seriously. sXe isn't for everyone. i'm not saying it's bad to be either one. it just depends on the person. i personally only do it to have fun, and wouldn't go out and start doing it frequently or anything, or by myself, or while i was driving or anything. so i'm not too worried. you shouldn't be either. i know you can be scared for people, but you can't control what happens to them.

<3 lauren