Standing Still 21/?
Title: Standing Still (21/?)
Author: CSIGeekFan
Rating: R (Language)
Genre: Drama/Angst
Summary:It's been five years since that fateful day that he walked away from Oakdale. Five years since he had his heart ripped to shreds. Five years since the ultimate betrayal.
Author's Note: This chapter is unique in that it is not going to feature Luke. The show truly left something out that should have been more thoroughly addressed. It left out just how much Reid meant to so many people. It only makes sense that Luke's return would bring all those memories back up.
PREVIOUSLY
Ash laid his hand over her arm and gently smiled. It was a natural reaction for her to flip her palm in his and lock their fingers. Together in the quiet, they waited for Carl. Nobody needed to say the words - nobody needed to explain why all of them would wait with their boy.
It's what family did.
They would be surprised to know how many others waited in the hallway, too, including one sporting a bruised cheek, a cut lip, and an annoyed wife.
X X X
Henry Coleman could remember the day Reid Oliver died. To his shock and dismay, his heart broke a little that day.
Yes, Barbara had come into his life and made it brilliant. Yes, he'd decided life couldn't get any better. Yes, he'd become as smiley as a clown. As giddy as a school boy.
When Katie had called, sobbing uncontrollably, he'd initially thought that Chris's heart had given out and he'd died. Then he'd heard that Dr. Oliver, that arrogant son-of-a-bitch, had been killed in an accident.
To Barbara's surprise and worry, Henry had dropped onto the edge of their bed, lowered his head, and stared despondently at the floor for over an hour.
He'd then spent months going into work, greeting customers, and having a fist slammed into his chest by unrealized expectation. Over those first months… years, really… Henry lost count of how many times he forgot that the prick of a doctor had died. After all, he'd practiced his zingers. Every now and again, he'd heard the door to the eatery open, turned around with a quip on the tip of his tongue, and felt it die there.
Reid Oliver never stepped through the door again.
The world become duller. Maybe a little more stupid.
Time played its hand, though, and eventually Henry stopped anticipating seeing that asshole Reid. Eventually he stopped practicing the insults he wanted to throw at the other man. With time, he put away the loss. Life went on. So did happiness.
Then just a few weeks ago, the gossip mill went to work over-time. Luke had come home, and he wasn't the man he'd once been. The night he saw him at Metro, Henry had wanted to say something to the young man. The hard-edged look of anger on Luke's face had stopped him cold, as had the disfiguring scars.
It took all this time for Henry to screw up the courage to go visit Luke, and to admit to the reluctant admiration he'd felt for Reid. He wanted to tell the younger man about how it took that loss to make him look within and realize that Reid Oliver may have been a complete jerk, but he'd been unique. And maybe he, Henry Coleman, could admit to being a little jealous of his friendship with Katie. Maybe he could confess how he'd even looked forward to tossing insults at Reid, even though he'd often ended up flustered.
So now he stood on the cottage doorstep, trying to find the words to explain to a young man he used to know that he'd never hated Reid. That he'd actually liked him in a bratty brother kind of way.
With a twist of courage, he raised his hand and knocked three times.
X X X
Katie Hughes sat in the study, just staring at her desk.
It seemed like every time she thought she'd put the past behind her, it crept back up like a bubbling volcano. Grief spewed out. Anger festered. Gratitude eventually took its proper place. That had always been her cycle, and always would be. She'd learned long ago to simply wait for the worst to pass and eventually she would settle.
Yet she couldn't settle for the long term. Not so long as the words went unsaid.
Reaching into her desk drawer, she withdrew a small, hand-carved wooden box and opened the lid. It seemed she'd inspected the contents a thousand times already, but she tipped it all out once again and repeated the process.
As she looked at one item after another, carefully placing each back in its proper place, she thanked God once again for the tangible evidence of her son - a precious, constant reminder of Brad. All she had of Reid were things.
When the last item had been carefully placed in the box, she closed the lid, latched it, and carried it through the house and out the door.
It was never hers to keep.
X X X
Chris knew anything he might say would fall on deaf ears - his wife's and Luke's. In the end, he didn't blame either of them for it.
Not many truly understand the transformation the doctor had undergone after his colleague's death. He hadn't really understood it himself, although he'd recognized the process over the course of these last years. No, he hadn't understood it until he'd felt Luke's fist hit his face; and then it had become crystal clear.
Yes, he'd become more humble in time. Part of that had been because of the physical limitations of his heart. Every time his heart rate increased, he thought of that muscle that beat so strong and steady; and for years he regretted never having told Reid how he felt - how he'd seen their rivalry as an odd sort of friendship.
Only Katie understood what he felt. She'd been there when he'd broken, picked him up, and by some saving grace, she'd forgiven him. On some level, he wondered if part of that forgiveness was only for the sake of that heart that beat strong and true in his chest. Not that he would complain. No, he would take whatever she offered, and be grateful for the gift of his life.
It had taken him several years to take that appreciation and turn it into true happiness.
It had taken their little girl, Rufina, to give them real peace. Since the day she'd been born just two years ago, he'd dedicated his life to making sure he left the world a better place. As much as he loved Jacob, looking down at the strawberry blonde head of his toddler, he truly understood the drive to leave something behind.
"Daddy," she said, reaching up to pat his cheeks with chubby little hands, and then thunk her head against his chest.
"You wanna go with Daddy to the hospital, Fin?" Chris asked with a grin.
When she giggled, patted him on the cheeks, and said, "Okay, Daddy," he wondered how he'd gotten so damn lucky. Especially when, thirty seconds later, Jacob wandered over and gave him a hug… just because.
X X X
Katie knocked briefly on the office door before just opening it and walking in.
Without a word, and without even looking the other person in the eye, she sat down in the chair patients often sat in, and proceeded to lay her box on the desk in front of her.
Softly, she said, "He would've hated the sentiment behind this thing. He would've hated that I kept these. Even more, he would be ridiculing me that I can still hurt so bad. He'd be calling me a sap."
When Katie raised her eyes, she looked into the eyes of the Chief of Neurology, Anita Flagg. The middle-aged doctor with deep laugh lines, compassionate eyes, and salt and pepper hair simply waited. It was why she was suited for this job - she could be as patient or as blunt as the moment warranted. So she waited, because she'd come to know Katie Hughes and her husband over the last few years. She'd come to admire, respect, and even like them.
"He could make me so very angry," Katie continued, although the energy she'd held in reserve waned. She found what strength she needed, though. "He made me so proud, too, because he showed me just how much love can mean."
She remembered trying to explain to her sister what Reid had been like before Luke, and how he'd changed because of Luke. Words could not explain the way the world lit up when Luke walked into a room, or the way Reid watched him with so much passion. Even more, though, it hurt her deeply that people did not understand the commitment her friend had made to each and every person he touched. How would they ever know just how much he loved?
With a gentle touch, Katie lifted the lid of the old wooden box in which she'd placed the few things of import left behind, pulled out the man's stethoscope with a sad smile, and reached for the pictures within.
The day he had died, she'd retrieved those pictures, and written their story. One-by-one, she told the story of the men, women, and children that Reid had been unable to save. One-by-one, she gave a face to a new technique, and outlined the cost to the doctor - the man - who'd discovered it the hard way. One-by-one, she gave away the deepest, most important part of her friend to someone she knew would appreciate it.
"These people mattered."
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 20
Chapter 19
Chapter 18
Chapter 17
Chapter 16
Chapter 15
Chapter 14
Chapter 13
Chapter 12
Chapter 11
Chapter 10
Chapter 9
Chapter 8
Chapter 7
Chapter 6
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1