(no subject)
Lately I've been feeling down :(
I think it has to do mostly with my family, they always seem to focus on the bad things which lately have been my grades. What I don't understand is that I get good grades, but all my mom seems to focus on are the ones, which she calls, "disgraceful". I've made so much improvement from last quarter, but she could care less. The only time she talks about the improvement is when I remind her, and even then she disregards them as if they were nothing. She has these great expectations for me that I dont think iIcan fill. She graduated valedictorian of her class, and my brother was a super genius. I always feel like I'm the problem child, even though I'm a good kid and I feel like shes ashamed of me because I'm not her ideal geeky savant child. They seem to be so happy with my older brother because he has "accomplished" so much by his grades in school. But he has no social life at all, he never has. I actually have friends, and I dance. It's hard to keep up with all honors classes, dance and hanging out with my friends. Sometimes I think they want me to be like my brother. But even then, there would be something wrong with whatever I was doing, because it was me and not him. I would just like to actually satisfy them at least once, but I know that that's impossible.
I think it has to do mostly with my family, they always seem to focus on the bad things which lately have been my grades. What I don't understand is that I get good grades, but all my mom seems to focus on are the ones, which she calls, "disgraceful". I've made so much improvement from last quarter, but she could care less. The only time she talks about the improvement is when I remind her, and even then she disregards them as if they were nothing. She has these great expectations for me that I dont think iIcan fill. She graduated valedictorian of her class, and my brother was a super genius. I always feel like I'm the problem child, even though I'm a good kid and I feel like shes ashamed of me because I'm not her ideal geeky savant child. They seem to be so happy with my older brother because he has "accomplished" so much by his grades in school. But he has no social life at all, he never has. I actually have friends, and I dance. It's hard to keep up with all honors classes, dance and hanging out with my friends. Sometimes I think they want me to be like my brother. But even then, there would be something wrong with whatever I was doing, because it was me and not him. I would just like to actually satisfy them at least once, but I know that that's impossible.